SEX EDUCATION

CHAPTER 19: BOGART

When I woke up the next morning, the guilt instantly returned. I couldn't tell if I was overthinking it, or if I should hate myself. I got up and began my day with a shower. I quickly got dressed, but my hair up in a bun, and put on light makeup for the day. I never wear much when I'm feeling down.

When I walked out of the room, I found Severus in the kitchenette setting breakfast in the table. He looked up at me. "Spencer..." He walked to me and then pulled me into his arms. "I'm so sorry," he spoke into my ear. "I'm so sorry I make you feel that way and I promise, it stops now."

He stepped back and looked at me. "I'll be making Lupin's wolfsbane. I'd like if you came. I could teach you how."

I smiled. "I know how to make wolfsbane potion."

"When was the last time you made it?"

I shrugged. "I don't know. Sixth, maybe seventh year."

We both began to laugh and he pulled me to him and kissed me. "That's what I thought."

We made our way to our little table and sat to eat. It was delicious. While we ate, he assured me that although Lilly once had a piece of his heart, she could never have as big of a piece as I had, because I had it all. He assured me that the best day of his life was the day I returned to Hogwarts. "Second, of course, to the day you became my wife."

I stared at him smiling. I was so happy to have found him. After everything I've been through, I'm glad I went through it all to end up where I did. But then last night came back to my mind. I had forgotten about it the second I saw Severus. But it came back.

As we sat at the breakfast table, I started crying. There was no hiding it. I couldn't live with myself. Severus reached across the table and grabbed my hand. "My love, what is wrong?"

I took a deep breath. "Severus, I have to tell you something and it's probably going to hurt."

We sat in our sofa. I told him about my dream. "When I woke up, I was so worked up, I took care of myself."

He was silent a few minutes, in deep thought. Finally, he was able to muster up some words. "Let me get this straight... you had a sex dream about Lucius Malfoy and then you woke up and masturbated to Lucius Malfoy."

I covered my eyes. On top of my shame, I was embarrassed. "I didn't masturbate to Lucius. I only masturbated because I was so turned on!" I argued.

"By Lucius!" He threw back at me. He stood up. "I can't deal with this right now. I've got to go." He stood and was out the door before I could say anything.

I pulled myself together and then stood up to clean the breakfast dishes. I didn't use magic. I needed something to occupy my thoughts.

Once it was time, I left our chambers, locking the doors up and made my way to my classroom. I readied the classroom for the days lesson and sat at my desk, waiting for my first class to arrive.

As the children made their way to their desks they all burst out laughing. This made me chuckle. There were fake penises standing up on each of their desks. "I know it's weird everybody, but it's important that everyone knows how to properly place a condom on a penis."

There was a lot of excited chatter but eventually everyone calmed down enough to let me start the lesson.

As I taught, I made the children practice. "Make sure there are no air bubbles. And especially watch for any visible tears or punctures, because if there are any of those, the condom is ineffective and you might as well not have one at all. And remember, everytime, CONDOMS, CONDOMS, CONDOMS! There is a bowl of them in this table at the side of the room, take them. No questions asked!"

After the lesson, I prepared for my next class. I put the statues away, as this class is first years. We would be discussing menstruation today.

The day went by quickly. But I hadn't seen Severus at all. He didn't come to lunch, nor dinner, and he was not in our room when I came in for the night.

I sat in the sofa, reading a book, but I couldn't shake the loneliness. I finally climbed into my bed and cried myself to sleep, knowing that I may have lost the love of my life.

It had been a week. I imagine Severus was staying in his office and taking breaks there too. He did not want to see me. I didn't blame him. I still cried myself to sleep every night.

A few days later, Remus approached me. "I heard you had a light schedule today. We have a bogart in one of our wardrobes. I would love it if you came to help teach the students how to get rid of it."

I felt the color leave my face. "A bogart?"

"Not to worry!" Remus assured me. "It likely won't come near you with the number of people that will be in the room."

I didn't even want to think of what my bogart would appear to me as. But Remus really seemed to want someone else there, probably in case something went wrong. Reluctantly, I agreed.

As we brought the children to the teacher's lounge, where the wardrobe had been moved, I spied Severus in the corner. My heart started thumping. He stood up and stared at me for ten seconds straight before turning to Lupin. "I think I'll skip this lesson. Stay aware of Longbottom, though. He can't do anything right!" He turned and made eye contact with me once more. His expression giving nothing away, and then he stormed out of the room.

When class had started, I stood next to Lupin as he began to instruct the third years. He picked Longbottom first, which didn't surprise me with the way Severus called him out a few moments ago. When Remus asked him what he feared the most and Neville murmured "Professor Snape", I couldn't help but snicker out loud. But when Neville changed his Snape bogart into his grandmother's clothes, not only me, but the whole room was laughing hysterically. Severus was going to be pissed when he hears about this.

Things were going well as the lesson continued, until it approached Harry, and they bogart changed into a big scary dementor. My heart dropped and I leapt in front of him. Suddenly, before me stood my mother. My dead mother, covered in cuts and bruises with bones sticking out of her and blood all over most of her body. "You're going to pay for this!" She screeched.

I let out a terrified scream and then everything went black. I know at one point, I could smell Severus, but I didn't count to until nearly midnight when I tapped and sat up. I was in my bed, Severus was lying next to me fast sleep. I laid back down, nuzzling my head into his chest, enjoying just holding him.

I eventually dozed off, but woke up when he started to stir. He looked at me. "Are you okay?"

I lay back on my pillow. "I am, I guess that bogert was too much." I shivered at the memory.

"I heard it was quite terrifying."

I nodded. We lay quietly for awhile. We held hands, but said nothing. After awhile, I needed to talk. "Severus..."

"Spencer. I'm hurt. My heart is broken." My heart sank in guilt. He lifted my hand and kissed my fingers. "But you are my wife. That's not going to change. I just need time."

I nodded. "Okay."