Only you / Hyo-Seop

04. I lied

“With you it was only to loose my time"

T

hose words repeated over and over in my head.

I was aware that Hyo-Seop was drunk when he slept with me, I knew he wouldn't remember anything, but him saying it to my face with those words made it more painful.

I told him what he felt, how could I tell him that? It was obvious that he didn't feel the same way about me, he felt very stupid for what I said.

He didn't have my phone with me, I left it in the apartment as well as my wallet, but thank goodness he had some cash with me. That night I slept at my parents' house, they were shocked that I arrived without warning, but they didn't ask me many questions, I stayed with them until the afternoon of the next morning.

I wasn't in the mood to see Hyo-Seop, at least not without wanting to break his face.

My father left me in front of the apartment, I thanked him and went down determined not to be affected by what had happened. Things happened and I couldn't do anything to change them.

The night before I stayed up late thinking about what to do, I came to the conclusion to just continue as if nothing had happened, Hyo-Seop will continue to be the same as always and I will try to forget what I feel for him, I can't force him to feel the same for me.

I entered the apartment, everything was silent, there seemed to be no signs of Hyo-Seop, I went up to my room, took my cell phone, I had 20 missed calls from Hyo-Seop from the night before.

I spent the rest of the day studying for my test and doing some homework, when I heard the front door close.

-Yn where are you? "You left me alone for a long time"- He shouted from the living room, extending my name, apparently he missed the drinks again.

I couldn't help but go down. I saw him standing in the living room, he was staggering a little when he saw me he smiled tenderly at me.

-Let's go back as we were Hyo-Seop, I'm gonna make you coffee, and this stay there- I asked without looking at him

I walked to the kitchen a few seconds later I saw Hyo-Seop enter, I was going to tell him to come out but he hugged me from behind, surrounding me by the waist, leaving his head resting on my shoulder, it was impossible for me not to tense up at his contact, my hands were starting to sweat. and that was not a good sign. I tried to separate myself from him quickly, but his arms wouldn't allow me.

-

Let go of me- I whispered when his grip tightened.

-Now we can talk Yn- he said softly in my ear.

-Why did you make me think you were drunk?-  I complained, trying to sound angry and not nervous.

-Because if he hadn't done it, you would avoid me by going into your room and I really want to clarify some things with Hyo-Seop breath hit my neck.

-There's nothing to clarify, Ahn- I tried to separate myself from Hyo-Seop but it was in vain. -Let's just continue as before- I said nervously, feeling Hyo-Seop chest sticking to my back. -You're an idiot and that's not going to change, but I'm tired of this you can continue being an idiot, but I will no longer be behind you all the time-

-Please listen to me, nothing will be like before and I agree with that- his voice sounded very convinced and calm -Yn I lied to you.

-If I know, you're not drunk, that point is already clear- he let out a small laugh.

-I didn't mean that, I lied to you when I said I didn't remember anything that happened between us- For the first time I heard Hyo-Seop voice tremble.

-What do you mean with that?- I asked a little confused.

-That day I was not as drunk as I looked, he was dizzy, but I was aware of what he was doing and I really wanted for a long time that what happened that night would happen. The next morning I wanted to talk to you and tell you what I feel, you know that when I'm nervous I follow more stupid things than usual and that's why I laughedwhen I saw you in my bed with nothing but my sheet covering you. I immediately regretted it when I saw your expression and I wanted to explain to you better why I acted like that, but you almost ran out of the room and that stopped me, that's why I told you to forget what happened, I didn't want you to get away from me because of what happened, but It didn't turn out like I thought.-

-What you feel? - I said trying to process the information.

-I'm in love with you Yn, that's why I tried to change, so you could see that I can be the man you deserve, the man you need, but the day you stayed with Heesung I got very angry, especially knowing what happened between you a while ago. time and you know that I am a jealous man and above all very impulsive, I didn't like to think that while I couldn't get you out of my head you were very happy laughing with another man that wasn't me and I called the first girl that came to mind I wanted to try to forget you but it only made things worse between us, I'm really sorry for what I said that day, I was very upset, when you told me that you were in love with me I went blank I didn't think you felt the same, I wanted to go after you but I knew that you were angry and that the last thing you wanted was to see me, when you didn't arrive that night I was very worried but your mother spoke to me and told me where you were- she left a kiss on my cheek

It was to be expected, my mother really likes Hyo-Seop. I separated from him a little without turning to see him, I needed some space.

-You are undoubtedly an idiot, if you plan to resolve things like this when you are upset with me, then this will not go anywhere, I don't want to be with a jerk like you, we have to change things before being together. I don't want to suffer anymore for you Hyo-Seop 

-I have a chance?- whisper

-No matter how incredible and idiotic you are sometimes, I know you Hyo-Seop and I know that you can become the most beautiful man in the world and I need to know if that will be the case if I give you a chance. I don't want to cry or suffer because of your stupid impulses or jealousy.

Hyo-Seop turned me around to face me, he saw me with a cute smile on his face. He brought one of his hands to my cheek and caressed it with his thumb.

-Forgive me babe, let's try to forget everything that happened and start again, I just want to be with you Yn, and do all those things that couples do, including dressing up in couple clothes- he smiled - but above all I promise you that this will change, I will change as long as you are with me-

-

Thought you hated couple's clothes- I said, smiling sweetly.

-For you I am capable of doing anything- he assured.

-The first time you ruin it, I swear you'll forget about me Ahn-

-I don't even want to think about it -Hyo-Seop was closing the distance between us before getting to kiss us, he stopped.

-First of all, do you want to be my girlfriend Yang Yn? -I just felt how her lips touched mine with every word she said.

-I guess so- I said as adorable as I could, Hyo-Seop smiled, he grabbed my cheeks with both hands and brought our lips together.

This kiss was different, it was calm and slow, his lips moved gently over mine, my hands went up to my neck and Hyo-Seop hands went down to take me by the waist, I felt like he smiled in the middle of the kiss and I couldn't help but do the same, finally everything is clarified.

We kissed for a long time, some kisses were short, others were longer, it was just perfect.

-Thank you for loving me Yn- Hyo-Seop spoke, looking into my eyes with a smile.