Kaz Rietveld

Chapter 1

It'd been about 5 days since the heist and the group had come into town, begrudgingly may he add, because Nina claimed she needed waffles to recover. What they all really needed was probably more sleep but he'd learnt to not refuse the grisha girl her beloved waffles.

The rag tag group of teens found themselves huddled in a small booth of some dodgy looking place that Nina argued had the best waffles in the Barrel. Wylan sat by the window, on his right Jesper and then Kaz. Matthias sat across the table opposite Wylan with Nina on his left then Inej. He looked around the table at his associates, he could still see the bags beneath their eyes, small scars poking out from beneath sleeves and collars and couldn't help but wonder why they were all still here. The heist was done, money made, deals honoured and yet they were still here. He wouldn't question it though, he wouldn't allow a moment of sincere innocence to pass, the reason would come out itself eventually.

His thoughts were interrupted by a mug being placed in front of him, hot chocolate with a dollop of cream on top. For Inej and Nina, waffles coated in what looked like a sickly sweet syrup, Matthias had ordered a slab of meat with vegetables, Wylan a slice of pie and some pink coloured shake. And Jesper. Jesper had ordered a full breakfast with waffles on the side, despite it being 3 in the afternoon.

He looked up as Nina called him, "Are you capable of eating anything? At every place we go, it's always that hot chocolate, why?"

She was looking at him as if he'd taken a man off the street and cooked him right there, was he not allowed to have a preference?

"Why do you always get waffles Zenik?" He shot back.

Nina was not impressed, it was like the question was offensive. How dare someone question her waffles, a food sent from the saints he did not believe in. She slammed her hands on the table, leaning forward, a bewildered look on her face.

"What do you mean why waffles Brekker, because they're good and I like them?! Is that not obvious?"

"There you go." He replied, taking a sip of the hot drink, letting it warm his body.

"No!", she shrieked, drawing a few questioning glances from other tables, "it's just bitter and powdery. You only get good hot chocolate from the expensive places, and we never go to the expensive places, it tastes like rubbish everywhere else, here included."

She was right. They only made it good at the posh places where it was ridiculously over priced. Honestly, he knew it wasn't great but he liked it because it reminded him of Jordie. He still remembered how they arrived in Ketterdam at the beginning of the winter season. They were cold all the time, and Jordie had always insisted on buying a hot chocolate from those crappy little vending stalls on the outskirts of the markets. They were horrible too, but at the time, walking around in those scraps of clothes with nowhere to sleep, it was the most wonderful drink he'd ever had. They'd buy a cup and walk back to the little stone bridge they'd taken refuge under. Pressed into each other's sides, taking turns to have a sip of the hot drink. They shouldn't have been buying them with how less money they had but Jordie had a soft spot for spoiling the younger and they did it once a week. Idiot, he thought to himself. But he'd never tell Zenik that.

"Just let the demjin drink his drink dear" Matthias answered with a smirk.

He glared at him.

Jesper opened his mouth full of food, "Matthiasss, don't piss him off when he's sat next to me" he whined.

"Ew, Jesper close your mouth when you're eating, you're spewing food everywhere." Wylan complained, grabbing a tissue. Jesper pulled a cheeky grin, "sorry no time to chew merchling". "Eww, I just told you to eat first stop talking" he said pushing the older boys face away.

Inej laughed, "We could feed a whole army with how much Jesper eats."

He chewed before answering this time, earning a glad smile from Wylan, "I'm a growing boy Inej, gotta eat!" he said patting his belly.

The crew laughed, and Kaz, Kaz allowed a smile to find its way on to his face, just this once.

~

He was drowning.

The water was pushing its way inside his throat, suffocating him. His hands clawed at nothing, feet kicked at empty space. He could see the light, could see where he needed to go but he couldn't get there. His head was spinning at the lack of oxygen, his chest was straining under the pressure.

Then his fingers found purchase. He felt the air on his hands and pulled himself up, taking a deep breath when his head reached above water. Chest heaving, he let his body rest on the surface legs still in the water, floating aimlessly. He closed his eyes for a moment to calm his beating chest when he smelt it. Death. It smelt like death, like something that had been rotting for a long time.
He turned his head around.

Jordie

Kaz shot up in his bed, scream muffled by the piece of cloth he'd shoved in his mouth. Heart racing, hands shaking he took it out and made his way to the small bathroom joint to his room. He turned on the water to splash his face, hands pausing, he turned tap off. He rested his forearms on the edges of the sink, head bowed between them.

Get it together Kaz.

The nightmares had come back ever since falling into that river at the Ice Court. He saw his brother's rotting corpse every night. But he wouldn't let them hear him. After the heist, they'd all carried on staying in the Slat, except for when woman and Jesper went to stay at the mansion. His room remained the same, right at the top of that creaking staircase. They'd all offered to swap with him, arguing it wasn't good for his leg but he refused. It was the furthest away and had the attached bathroom, perfect for privacy.

It was 2am, but he wouldn't be sleeping again tonight. So he made his way to desk to deal with paperwork, as usual.

He couldn't get Jordie out of his head. The black hair and dark brown eyes that he shared with him. The way he'd laugh when a younger Kaz would do something stupid, or when he'd make a fool of himself just to hear Kaz laugh. He had loved him, so much. So, so much that it hurt, that he tried turning it into hate for his foolish actions but at the end of the day he could never stay mad at the memory of his big brother. It hurt.

So he went back to sorting papers.

~

First Chapter!

I know it's not very long, I wanna work on the length but I also wanted to get something out.

Feel free to leave any comments or suggestions for things you might want to see included. I can't guarantee I'll always use them but I'll try for things here and there. (I say this like I have any readers yet, I don't).

But yes we love a bit of Kaz angst.

Anyways,
Till next time dudes.