The Madness Of Love | The Secret History

XXX

I found Francis's apartment darkened. He was asleep. I pulled the blinds to let the sun in. Francis rubbed his eyes and called me a strange name. Then he recognised me. "You. What are you doing here?" I reminded him that we'd agreed to visit Charles.

Listlessly, with one hand, he groped for his cigarettes on the night table. "Jesus, I'm depressed. I can't handle seeing Charles today."
"We've got to." He was silent for a moment, then said: "Let's have some lunch first. Then we'll do it. Let's ask Julian to go with us. It's always nice to see him."

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Julian opened the door wide. Immediately Francis asked him if he wanted to come to lunch. "Of course. I'd be delighted." he laughed. "This has been an odd morning indeed. I'll tell you about it."

We enjoyed hearing about things that happened to Julian, so Francis and I pressed him to tell us now. "Well, the secretary from the Literature and Languages Division was just here. She had a letter for me."
"What kind of letter?" Francis leaned closer. "Who's it from?"
"Bunny." Julian said. A bright knife of terror plunged through my heart. We stared at him, dumbstruck.

"Well, of course, it's not really from Edmund." Julian said. "It's a forgery, and not a clever one."
He gave us the letter. It was single-spaced, on five small sheets of paper, some of which not like the paper he usually used.

Francis took the letter and shuffled through the pages. He stopped at the next-to-last sheet - which was different than the rest - and turned it over. It was a sheet of hotel stationery with the address of the hotel Bunny and Henry stayed in.

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We decided to find Henry, as he had the key to Julian's office. It was a good plan. The only problem was, running Henry down wasn't as easy as we'd hoped. He wasn't at his apartment, and when we went by the Albemarle, his car wasn't there. But Lilith's car was, so we decided to still try to find them in the Albemarle.

While the innkeeper wasn't looking I hurried up the stairs knocking on doors and trying to find Lilith. It was funny, I thought, as I shot up the last flight of stairs, but I'd had a premonition they'd be on the top floor. I banged at the door of 3-A. "Lilith!" I shouted. "It's Richard! Let me in!"

And then, there she was, like a miracle: sunlight streaming behind her into the hall. I was out of breath. "Let me in," I gasped. She pulled the door shut. It was a beautiful room - oak floors, fireplace, only one bed, I noticed, bedclothes tangled at the foot...

"Is Henry here?" I said.
"What's wrong?" she asked.
"I don't have time to explain. Where's Henry?"
"Why" - she looked at the clock - "I believe he's at Julian's office."
"Julian's?"
"Yes. He had an appointment at two."

I wanted to go back to Francis, but Lilith didn't let me go till I told her everything. After I did we both hurried down the stairs to get Francis.

"What should we do?" said Francis on the drive back to school (even in this situation he seemed extraordinarily happy to see Lilith) "Wait outside and watch for him?"
"I'm afraid we'll lose him. I think one of us better run up and get him. Lilith would probably be the best choice."
Lilith nodded.

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Since the recent events I didn't trust Lilith that much so I went up with her, leaving Francis in the car, even though she looked at me strangely.
"Lilith," Julian said - I was behind the door and he didn't see me - in a tone which simultaneously let her know that she'd come at a bad time.

"Is Henry here? I need to talk to him about something." she said sweetly. He looked surprised. "Of course," he said.
Henry was sitting at the table where we did our Greek. There were other papers on the table but the letter was in front of them. He glanced up. I came out of behind the door. He looked fo fly at Lilith, but he did not look pleased to see me.

"Henry, may I speak to you." I didn't wait for Lilith to start talking.
"Certainly," he said coldly. I turned, to step into the hall, but he didn't make a move to follow. He was avoiding my and Lilith's eyes. Damn him, I thought.

"Could you come out here for a minute, darling?" Lilith said in a sickly sweet voice. It seemed like she was going to throw something and Henry, but he apparently didn't get the hint.

"You mean, it's something you want to tell me in private, love?"
Judging by he took, she could've killed him.
"Is everything alright?" asked Julian politely.
"Yes, yes," said Lilith quickly. "I just need to see Henry for a second."
"Can't it wait?" said Henry.

The letter was spread out on the table. With horror, I saw that he was turning through it slowly. He hadn't seen the letterhead. He didn't know it was there.
"Henry," said Lilith, on the verge of tears. "It's an emergency. I have to talk to you."

He was struck by the urgency and sadness in her voice. He turned over the page in his hand. There was the letterhead, face-up on the table. Lilith had Henry's attention now, but it was useless. The letterhead lay exposed on the table.

Lilith darted her eyes at the letter, then at Henry. He understood in an instant, but he wasn't fast enough, and in that split second Julian looked down.

"Well," Julian said at last, putting the letter in his pocket. "Well, well, well." What I felt, standing there, was not remorse but only terrible, crushing humiliation. And what was even worse was to see Lilith and Henry, and to realise that they were feeling the same thing. Lilith stumbled back a bit and I grabbed her arm so she wouldn't fall.

Henry was still sitting. I hated him, but somehow I was not prepared to see him like that. Nobody said anything.
"Julian," said Henry finally. "I can explain this."
"Please do," said Julian.

Henry started to talk. It was so painful to see him - Henry! - stumble over his words that I'm afraid I blocked out much of what he said. He went on and on. A black buzzing noise echoed in my head. Unable to stand it I turned to go, but Lilith linked her arm with mine.

Julian saw me almost leave. Abruptly, he cut Henry off. "That's enough." he said. He reached into his pocket, took the letter out and handed it to Henry. "I think you'd better keep this." he said. The three of us left the office without a word. Funny, when I think about it now, that was the last time I ever saw him.

We didn't speak in the hallway. Slowly, Lilith released my arm and I went downstairs to Francis. As I went, Henry stood by the windowsill on the landing, looking out, blind and unseeing. Lilith stood closely to him with a similar expression on her face.

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