The Madness Of Love | The Secret History

Epilogue II

I have not laid eyes on Julian since that last afternoon with Henry and Lilith, in his office. Francis - with extraordinary difficulty - managed to get in touch with him a couple of days before Henry's funeral. He also tried after Lilith's death, but Julian didn't even pick up the phone.

What are the dead, anyway, but waves and energy? Light shining from a dead star? That, by the way, is a phrase of Julian's. I remember it from a lecture of his on the Iliad, when Patroklos appears to Achilles in a dream.

Which reminds me, by the way, of a dream I had a couple of weeks ago. I found myself in a strange, deserted city - an old city, like London - underpopulated by war or disease. It was night; the streets were dark, bombed-out, abandoned. For a long time, I wandered aimlessly.

I went inside one of these new buildings. It was like a laboratory, maybe, or a museum. There was an exhibit in a glass case that gleamed in the dim light. I drew nearer. In the case was a machine revolving slowly on a turntable. An Inca temple... click click click... the Pyramids... the Parthenon. History passed beneath my eyes.

"We thought we'd find you here," said a voice at my elbow. It was Henry. Lilith stood close to him, holding his hand. I was extremely happy to see her, though not exactly surprised. Even though it was dark, it seemed like there was some kind of light coming out of her.

She looked amazing. Her unhealthy paleness was almost gone, her movements were flowy, she was almost glowing. Lilith looked like before Bunny's death, in the very beginning. I was glad to see her like this. I was glad to see her with Henry.

"You know," I said to them both, "everybody thinks you are dead." Henry stared down at the machine. "We're not dead. We're having problems with our passports." he said.
"What?"
He cleared his throat and put an arm around Lilith's waist. "Our movements are restricted."

I looked around curiously. "What is this place?"
"I'm afraid we can't say." Lilith said. Her voice as  sweet as before, and I realised I've missed it. I looked at them both and just took it all in.

There was so much I wanted to ask them both separately, so much I wanted to say; but somehow I knew there wasn't time and even if there was, I doubt they'd answer.

"Are you happy here?" I finally asked. Henry looked at Lilith and smiled; for the first time I saw him this happy with anyone.
"Yes." said Lilith, softly smiling. "I never thought I could feel like this again."
"We're very happy." Henry said, in a monotone, still looking at Lilith.

Lilith whispered something in his ear and he glanced at his watch.
"I hope you'll excuse us," Henry said, "but we're late for an appointment."
Lilith came closer to me and kissed my cheek. I knew she left a lipstick mark on it.

A lot of time has passed since all of this and I don't remember much about Lilith now, but one thing I'll remember forever is her lipstick stains, as the one she left on my cheek. She always wore the same lipstick and it would leave marks on everything: coffee cups, champagne glasses, cigarettes, Henry's lips, and every letter she'd send me.

"Goodbye, Richie." Lilith said, still smiling, for already the second time. "This time forever."
It was the first time she had called me 'Richie' since Bunny's death and the last time ever.

Henry put his arm around her waist again, turned away from me, and they both started walking away. I watched their backs receding down the long, gleaming hall.

The End

I loved writing this book and I hope you loved reading it xx
Thank you x

P.S. this isn't the end, I'm going to start another book that will be short stories exclusively about Henry and Lilith, and what they did without the rest of the group.