The Deal || Luke Hemmings

Past Flings and Present Stings

Cara

      "Someone's here to see you," my mother said aloud.

I grumbled. Whenever someone wanted to see me I was never dressed properly. "Who?"

I secretly hoped I wouldn't have to go all the way downstairs just to open the door and hear Calum asking me for girl advice.

"It's Ashton, dear," she muttered impatiently.

I was surprised by this remark. I honestly didn't think that Ashton would decide to come here even after our last talk...

"The poor boy is waiting outside," she reminded me. "He seems to be in quite a rush."

"Alright, I'm coming," I replied unsurely. Maybe Ashton was jogging around the village and felt a sudden urge to use our toilet.

I hurriedly followed my mom so he wouldn't have to pee outside, but what I really wanted was to take my time so I wouldn't have to endure another discussion concerning us.

"Hey-" I stopped halfway opening the door, realizing that it wasn't Ashton after all. And this was a huge relief to me.

"Hi Luke," I greeted casually. "Tricked my mom into thinking that you were Ashton again? I've always wondered how you manage to do that," I laughed.

"Cara," he spoke seriously. "Stop."

This certainly wasn't the reaction I expected.

He stopped himself again then said, "Wait, no. I meant to wait not stop," he corrected himself. "Or maybe both...but just listen first."

He was doing it again. He had so many things to say but the words in his mind didn't come off as smoothly when he tried to say it through his mouth. He only did that when he was agitated, and there was no need for him to feel that way.

"It's my fault." he blurted out as if it pained him to say it.

And this hurt me.

But I was taken aback with his answer. Never in my life did I expect to hear those three words from him.

As much as I wanted to play it cool by saying, "What for?" So many reasons came up in my head as to why he was at fault. I tried to shake the thought out off my head many times before even when I tried to convince myself that I was alright.

"How come?"

He began to rub the back of his head shyly.

"Do you remember when I--no, of course you do. It happened when--" he closed his mouth and began to think of what to really say. "Ok. First of all, I left you."

I nodded, hoping that this would go in the direction I was hoping for.

"I promised to go with you...but I didn't show up. And just for you to know, I didn't leave you because I was busy making out with some other girl," he quickly added. He was either aware of what people were saying or Calum had told him about what I said. Why do I even bother to tell Calum things when he'll clearly discuss it with Luke? 

"In fact," Luke said. "I never kissed anyone yet."

He stopped when I looked at him with a raised eyebrow. But soon after, I couldn't help but hide the smile I wanted to so badly show. Why did I take pleasure in hearing this?

"But that's besides the point," he began to blush furiously. "I left you and I shouldn't have done that."

I was thinking of a way to respond, but he interrupted my thoughts.

"And then I ignored you and started acting all sarcastic around you like you meant nothing. I never even bothered to explain why I left in the first place."

I stood there quietly looking at him.

"Do you want to clarify it right now?" I asked softly. "I think now's the right time."

He opened his mouth to say something, then closed it after.

"Luke?"

"I-it was because you were with Ashton that time," he faltered. "I didn't feel like I should have gone out with you."

"You left because of that?" All this time I thought there was something more to it. "I never even dated him. We were never together."

"I knew that well, but the thing is I really liked you..," he said, and my heart felt like it was about to flutter.

But then he had more to say.

"...in the past." When he said that I felt like I had been engulfed in despair. This was all done on purpose...or he had moved on already. Whatever it was, it happened long ago and it was understandable for him to recover. "I really liked you in the past," he said again.

"Oh," I smiled bitterly.

"Yeah, and I thought it wasn't right if I had gone out with you, since I thought you had feelings for someone else," Luke had his head hung low. His disconsolate appearance made me empathize for him. "I shouldn't have done those things."

"Why did it take you so long to tell me all about this," I muttered disappointedly.

"Well, I'm telling you this now, Cara. So will you please forgive me?" he asked with pleading eyes.

I did forgive him, even way before, and I was about to tell him so, but I decided to pursue my pettiness. "But all this time...

"It was just one date." he looked at me in frustration and sadness. "I know it's my fault but why do you care so much about it?"

"Because I liked you," I told him and his face flushed in shock. "...in the past."

"Should've known," he said begrudgingly. "So you stopped because you met someone else. I'm guessing it was Ashton, am I right?"

"You're wrong," I answered severely. "I stopped because I was heartbroken. And besides, I never had feelings for him."

"Your feelings for him are so weak that you told him about our deal," Luke replied, unmoved by what I said.

I flung my hands and buried my ashamed face in them, trying to contain all the rage welling up inside of me. "It's because you thought you were so high-and-mighty that you turned arrogant and self-centered. I couldn't forgive you that time. And for the last time, stop bringing Ashton to this. I told you I never liked him in that way. Plus you made the deal in the first place."

"It was my way of getting to talk to you again," he almost shouted and I thought it was best to take Calum's input and hear what he had to say. "I couldn't bring myself to talk to you properly after I left you. It was a horrible plan, I know. But please forgive me for it."

My thoughts were all over the place now. As I looked at him, I saw the old Luke, the Luke I used to admire. Not the new sardonic, annoying Luke.

But I couldn't bring myself to say anything else but the thought that was on my mind for years.

"How can I forgive you if you never even said sorry?"

-

LUKE'S CONFESSION I

-God Bless!-