Status: It's Complicated

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Lean's Point of View


Kailangan ko na ikurap ang mga mata ko ng ilang beses. Bago ko naintindihan ang nasa screen ko. Blame it to my number of meetings that I have to attend to this morning.

And this emptiness that I felt whenever I wasn't chatting with Alessa.

LonelyAlessa: I think its better if we don't chat anymore.

My head spins. A sudden jolt of weird feeling kicked in. I found myself typing.

RocketL: What the hell are you talking about?

It was too late to stop my message. I already click the Enter button angrily.

Oh yes.

Hindi ko alam but I could feel this small build-up of rage.

Not chat with her anymore?

Does she have any idea at all what I am going through these past few days since I started chatting with her?

Does she know how I often stared at my window thinking most of the time about her and the things I want to share with her? Or the first awkward hi and hello once we see each other?

Does she know what kind of emptiness I was feeling when I wasn't chatting with her?

Or how I want to rush the clock to evening so I could chat with her again?

I was thinking of asking her number so I could call her even when she wasn't online. Though I am not good at texting because I found it annoying. But I could always try.

At ngayon sasabihin lamang niya na we should stop chatting?

The hell?

I stared at the screen blankly when she didn't reply. I typed on the board.

RocketL: Give me a good reason why we shouldn't chat anymore. Make it a very good one.

It took her a while before she replied.

LonelyAlessa: It's complicated.

I could feel my frown deepened sa nabasa ko sa screen.

RocketL: Complicated? Why? Are you married? Committed?

LonelyAlessa: No.

RocketL: Then what?!

I started to feel mixed emotions. Anger. For making me feel unsure. Desperation. For pushing her to do something she doesn't want to.

Fear.

Na baka bigla na lamang siya na mawala.

Damn it.

And to think this is nothing but a chat!

I was about to type something when her message appears.

LonelyAlessa: I do not want to fall for someone that is from the screen of my laptop ...

Pakiramdam ko nag-freeze lahat.

My eyes read the words written on my screen. Na baka may hindi lamang ako naintindihan. Na baka mali lamang ang pagkakaintindi ko.

I do not want to fall...

I do not want to fall...

Fall...

I felt my heart thuds in a strange way.

But this happy, almost proud kind of feeling. It was there...

A Cinderella's Love (VVIP STORY at www.nobelista.com)Where stories live. Discover now