Hellies Review shop

review 1 ( elxy )

Author:  bangpinksister

Reviewer: Elxy_234

Book name : rough Empire

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Hello Kiara, I hope you're doing well. I wanted to express my gratitude for selecting me as your reviewer. Thank you so much for choosing me for this role. Personally, I believe that providing detailed feedback is more beneficial than simply giving marks or using rubrics.

After reading your book, I have a few suggestions. Firstly, I think you should consider using a book title that aligns more closely with the storyline, making it easier for readers to understand. It seemed that the title didn't quite match the actual content. Additionally, please be sure to carefully review and edit for grammar mistakes, as the book appeared to have quite a few. This can make the overall reading experience feel messy.

Furthermore, I found the first two chapters to be a bit overwhelming and unrealistic. Both twins being involved in a mafia organization at just 15 years old seemed far-fetched. As a reader, I didn't feel captivated by the first chapter. Perhaps, it would be better to start with some mysterious elements to intrigue the audience, rather than revealing everything right away.

I appreciate your effort in writing the book, however, I would like to provide some constructive feedback. Firstly, the characters in the book being only fifteen years old seemed unrealistic to me as a reader. It made it difficult for me to stay engaged and I couldn't connect with them emotionally or feel curious about what would happen next. Secondly, the use of the word 'seance' didn't make much sense, especially considering they are Mafia. It would be better to focus on more realistic scenarios for the characters. Additionally, the book has multiple characters, so it would be great to see more interaction and development for all of them, rather than just focusing on the twins. Lastly, since the book is categorized as a step brother book, it would be beneficial to highlight their interactions rather than focusing solely on romance. Including more realistic scenarios and creating characters that readers can easily attach themselves to would greatly enhance the reading experience.
Writing is truly an art form, and it would be truly beneficial if you could portray the appearance of the characters and the outfits they wear using your own words. This approach will undoubtedly enhance the reader's understanding and connection with your writing.

Furthermore, I must mention that the cover design suggestions provided for your book were not very appealing or attractive. As a reader, I can confidently say that I would hesitate to click on your book because I wanted to read about your stepbrother and where it leads, specifically BTS.

There are more things I would like to discuss, but for now, I believe this is sufficient. I will provide further feedback once you have made the necessary edits to your book. Thank you immensely for selecting me as a reviewer, and please keep in mind the importance of self-improvement. If you are looking to enhance your writing skills, I recommend reading more books with a similar theme.

Thank you once again for your consideration.

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Thank you reviewer and appreciate their hardwork