"Lucy will be fine, Tim" John Nolan's voice was sensitive but also firm with assurance. "I know she will be; I trained her."
Tim and John were watching from above as Detective Harper, Detective Lopez, and Officer Chen discussed dealings with a big-time drug runner, and Tim did not like it one bit.
"She volunteered, Tim" Nyla sounded irritated. "She knows the risks involved with taking on an undercover role." Tim shook his head sharply "She is in her rookie year" he spat back "she doesn't even know what she doesn't know." "That's enough" Sergeant Grey cut in. "If Chen feels confident enough to help the detectives on this case, then that is her decision." He stated signifying the end of the conversation.
Tim would never forgive her if Nyla let anything happen to Lucy on this mission, and Nyla knew that. She could feel his eyes on both of them the whole time they were discussing logistics before the drug runners arrived, and he couldn't even physically see them through the van they were sitting in. This better go off without a hitch, was all she could think.
"Does he not trust me?" An exasperated Lucy sighed as her friend John slid her a beer across the counter. "I think he is just concerned" John tried to play the voice of reason. "Concerned??" Lucy was not having it. "He wasn't concerned when he kicked me out of the car in the middle of the street and made me walk next to the shop until I could tell him what street we were on" "Lucy—" "No." She went on, "He didn't seem concerned when he purposely dragged me to that fucking gas station where he knew there would be guys there who would try to beat me to death. Hell, he didn't even seem concerned when he dragged me to Isobel's apartment where he knew there was a community of addicts willing to kill for their next fix, but now, when I mention that I want to do undercover work, and Harper and Lopez give me a chance, NOW he is concerned??"
John was quiet. He didn't quite have a succinct answer for her. The TO's behavior was rather odd, and he knew it was probably hard for Lucy to see from the inside. Nolan, however, had no trouble seeing what was really going on— anyone could. The second Tim pulled his rookie out of that barrel in the ground, something changed. And things would never go back to the way they were.
"Beautiful day means we're are green and go, got it" Lucy repeated to her superior officers as she did one final check on the placement of her bugged mic. "That's right" Angela nodded, "and if you don't feel safe, for any reason, we will pull the plug" "Yeah, and lose out on a huge bust" Lucy cringed. "Hey" Nyla cut her off "the bust is good, but getting everyone out of there alive is our first priority, got it?" The rookie nodded. Of course, she wasn't just risking her own life, but also the lives of her entire crew if she didn't pull this off properly.
"Well, then, what is it??" Lucy could hear her voice level increasing slightly as she became more frustrated. Tim angled his body away from her, not that she could really get a good look at him because her eyes were on the road. He actually had let her drive today. "I just don't like that Harper and Lopez are using you, and you don't even know what you're getting yourself into." Tim responded angrily. That wasn't the truth— at least not all of it. Tim had to watch first hand how undercover work could destroy a person's life if not handled properly. And just over two months ago, he thought he lost his rookie forever.
This realization didn't quite dawn on Tim until he realized that the talkative, quirky, way-too-positive-all-the-fucking-time woman that he had to spend every shift with actually had wormed her way into the deepest part of him, and he had no idea what to do about it. And he didn't realize until he almost lost that relationship for good. He was beyond thankful that he still had her with him, but now it seemed like Lucy was putting herself into another dangerous situation by her own volition. Sure, Harper had been doing this for years, but it tore apart her marriage, and she had to fight to regain custody of her daughter. Tim was not about to let Lucy go down the same path without a fight.
"Sir?" Lucy shook Tim from his thoughts with a snarky tone. "We're done talking about this." He ended the conversation abruptly. He had no idea how to put his feelings into words— hell he had no idea what his feelings even were. Why did he care so much about his rookie? What made her different than the dozens of other young officers he had trained?
"What the hell, it's a beautiful day" Lucy laughed nervously and climbed into the backseat of the darkened limousine where the head of this particular gang was waiting to quiz her on the formula of the drugs she was supposedly cooking.
"Why is she getting in the car?" Tim asked Nolan asked sharply. "That wasn't part of the plan." "Bradford, I am sure she has it under control" John tried to calm the other officer. "No, we need to go in now—" "Wait" John pleaded. "Just wait— Harper and Lopez haven't sounded the alarm yet, I am sure that everything is okay." Tim looked angrily over at Nolan and didn't say another word. Sure enough, a few minutes passed, and Tim was able to let out a partial sigh of relief when he saw Lucy's dark wavy hair come out of the limo. "See" Nolan tried to lighten the mood. "She's not done yet" Tim argued still as rigid as he was before the drug runners showed up. He was not able to fully relax until he was the one to handcuff Lucy himself and lead her to the back of his shop. "You did good, boot" he whispered to her with a small smile as he helped her climb in and close the door.
"What is wrong with Tim?" Lucy asked pointedly to Harper and Lopez, but both of them could tell, that she was more than bothered by her TO's behavior. "He is probably just nervous because you are still a rookie" Angela tried to talk the young officer down. "I just don't get why he won't support me on this" she continued to fume. "Why is it so important to you that you have his approval?" Nyla asked with a a small smirk toward the other detective. "I just..." Lucy paused. She wasn't exactly sure why. She was strong and independent, and she never stood down from a challenge. So why was this one hitting her so hard. "I guess I just..." She couldn't even finish her thought as Nyla and Angela continued to smirk at each other. Of all people, why did she want to make Tim proud? Lucy wasn't able to come up with an answer, or at least she was not able to come up with one that she was willing to admit out loud.
"What the hell, Tim?? First you bend over backwards to make sure I don't get in on this case, and then you tell me I did "good" like I passed one of your stupid "Tim tests"" The words come spilling out of Lucy's mouth as soon as her TO let her out of the back of the shop. She doesn't even bother going to get briefed before confronting him. She has about had it, and Nolan, realizing this, made himself scarce to give the partners some needed privacy. "Lucy, I just—" "No, you didn't care when you kicked me out of the shop and made me walk, you didn't care when you dragged me to the gas station to deal with a hostile gang, you didn't care when you took me to—"
"BECAUSE I KNEW COULD PROTECT YOU THEN" he interrupted her, startling her with the volume of his voice. "Because every other time you were in danger, I could protect you from it." He sighed defeated. "Until Caleb...." "Tim, that wasn't your fault" Lucy argued. "Doesn't matter" Tim shot back. "It might as well have been because I wasn't able to help you." "But you found me" she tried to remind him softly. "No" he shook his head "you throwing your ring— that led me to your spot. You saved yourself that day."
"Tim" Lucy said firmly "I can handle myself." For the first time ever, Tim looked vulnerable to her. Not even when he had been shot did he ever look vulnerable to her. "You trained me" she mumbled. "I know you can, and I am sorry that I made you doubt your abilities." He paused, "I just can't...." He looked at her helplessly. "Can't what?" Lucy questioned. "I can't lose you the way I lost her." He admitted.
There it was. It was out in the open now, and Tim knew he couldn't take it back. He didn't have to explain any further, because, as soon as the words slipped out, Lucy knew exactly what he meant.
"Tim" Lucy breathed out his name like an apology and reached out to him with open arms. Although every part of his brain knew he shouldn't, he reciprocated the hug and wrapped her in his arms, burring his nose in the pocket between her neck and shoulder. God, her smell was just as intoxicating as the rest of her. "I promise, I will walk away before it ever gets close to that" she pulled back just enough to look up into his eyes. "I don't know what I would do without..." he trailed off getting choked up. "hey, hey, look at me" Lucy gently reached her hand up to touch the back of his neck. "You will never have to" She promised. "And I know that you will always find a way to protect me."
Tim nodded; she was absolutely right, and he continued to hold her tightly for several moments... He knew they would have to deal with the logistics of their admittance later, but for now, he wasn't ready to let go of her quite yet.
