The Great History Of Stalking

PRESTLY

  A/N: cover will be changed soon. It's horrible IK.. but good idea
When we think of stalking nowadays, we think of social media because, as we all know, it has indeed infected our brains, which is of course, a good thing!! Very healthy habit, I recommend you keep it up (assuming it has already started working...) As I was saying, Stalking = Social Media. But.. back in my day.. a month or two ago, stalking was a creep that follows you everywhere! To the grocery store, to school/work, into the bathroom, etc. So I am showing you, my child, some old notes from.. a very terrifying time.. back when some of my relatives were being stalked..  Although I would appreciate that- ALSO.. The one you are about to be shown is my great great great great great uncle Prestly, and he's pretty boring to my taste, but the stalker ain't- Howard Howlington

   Day one of being stalked:
   I was minding my own business, like a normal.. okay, *sigh* .. like a nerd, because we all know that normal frogs DO NOT mind their own business.

Anyways, it was a Friday, and I heard raspy breathing over my shoulder. I turned around, but.. no one was there. And I heard something.. or someone.. dashing away. I was concerned, because of course it had to do with me, if it ran when I turned around.

Two hours later, I was in an important meeting with my boss, and I heard more breathing and I decided to ignore it, and listen to the words my boss was saying. It grasped my slimy frog shoulders. It would be disrespectful to turn around when my boss was speaking, so I just stayed in place, uncomfortably. I heard the sounds of a jar closing and walking away.

When my boss was done speaking, I asked: "Did you see anything behind me?" Because my boss WAS actually right across from me, and most likely would've seen something.

My boss shook his head though, "Prestly, you've lost your mind. I would've seen anything weird behind you, I was right across from you."

Well, since I am writing right now, it might not be 100% exact, but it's close enough. Anyways, I do not believe in ghosts, but.. what the hell could it be otherwise?

As I went to to take my shower that day- today, it was today.. I did actually hear noises from the other room. I was a little bit weirded out.. only a little bit.. So of course I got out of the shower. This is when I realized that this was definitely not a ghost. I saw a quick flash of yellow and orange, a Pac-Man frog, like me. This was a weirdo stalking me, stealing the slime from my shoulders. They were gone in a flash.

"Hello?" I called out. Raspy, crusty breathing filled the air. The door quickly slammed. I was alone. And here I am now, creeped out, writing the story down because of my nerdiness.
-Prestly

Day two of being stalked:
I was bringing my dish sponges to the laundromat because my sink was currently broken and not working, and that's what I usually use.

Anyways, I heard a familiar sound. A jar clinking to its top. Oh no. I quickly left, leaving my sponges washing. I started hopping to the bush next to the coffee shop, and I heard my washing machine stop and sponges squishing, as if someone was rummaging through it. But I was so stupid and didn't look back, just kept going for the bush. And I did. I dived right into it and hid there for a long time, hoping that whoever this was.. was gone. But I heard the raspy crusty breathing once again..

"Hello?" I hollered. No answer besides some rustling leaves and footsteps. I looked outside of the bush but I saw no one. I tried to look in the bush, but the leaves were too much in my face.

Soon enough, I left. Looking behind me constantly, to check if I'm being stalked or not. I was free, for now. I went into the coffee shop because I was madly thirsty. The frog at the desk was definitely bored and just messing with the paint peeling off of the table.

"Hey, ma'am," I said, clumsily assuming their gender.

They gave me a disgusted look. Really disgusted... Okay, I'm supposed to be taking notes about the stalking so.. let's move to the weird part. I heard a camera clicking as I ate, and it was coming from behind me. I stuffed the muffin into my mouth and dashed right out. And here I am, at my desk, writing this. I'm gonna go close my curtains.
-Prestly

Day three of being stalked:
This is to the point where I was terrified to go outside. But.. I had to. I walk to my moms house every Sunday, and it was a very long way. I slowly stepped outside, shivering. I gulped and forced myself to walk. It seemed okay, so I went faster, with only one thing on my mind. (Which was the stalker of course.)

Soon enough, I heard clicking sounds. This weirdo was obviously taking pictures of me. I looked behind myself, but as usual, I saw nothing. I was starting to get convinced it was a ghost again, and maybe I was just hallucinating the Pac-Man frog. I heard smacking and slurping sounds. The sounds of licking lips. It was obnoxious.

I ignored it and kept walking, faster. There was still a long way to my moms house. Then, the crunching sounds got so loud, I just had to turn around. And what I saw was a Pac-Man frog, holding a camera, frozen in the path behind me.

"Hey!!" I screeched. "There's no where to hide. We are in an open space, you can't hide. So don't try to run because I'm uh.. magic.." I know how uncreative and unbelievable that was, but the creep believed me for some reason.

"Alright, you caught me, I knew you would," the frog said in a flirty tone, waggling his eyebrows. "I can see some abs coming in on you.." even though these are notes, this is accurate. I remember what he said like it was a second ago.

I raised my non existent eyebrow concerningly. "Leave me alone. And stop taking pictures of me, or I'm calling the police," I said.

"You don't have to be scared," he said, rizzful. "We can actually have some fun.."

I started dialing 9-1..

"WAIT!!! They said they'd give me a last chance for being out of jail!!" he gasped.

I felt empathy for even that guy, so.. I agreed to marry him. Yes he engaged to me. So here I am now, writing this. I never did get to visit my mom.

- PRESTLY

Well, that was Prestlys story. I'm proud to say I am related to that stalker. Even though they were gay they had children. And their children birthed some children. And so on until my baby cousin. Anyways, this definitely isn't the end of the story. Just this chapter.

- Howard Howlington