Dear Lando

𝟸𝟻 ♡ The Moon Doesn't Mind

The Moon Doesn't Mind By Lord Huron

Two days had passed, and still, Max remained confined to his bed. I hadn't ventured back to his room since our last encounter, my own exhaustion and the weight of the unresolved emotions keeping me confined to my couch.

The events of the past days, the crash, the hospital visit, and the unspoken conversations, had created a heavy weight over my spirits. It felt as if the gravitational force that bound us had intensified, leaving me listless and unmotivated to engage with the world outside my home. 

Max and I hadn't exchanged many words during his waking moments, the unspoken understanding between us hanging heavily in the air. The sheer weight of unspoken sentiments lingered, a silent pact that waited for the right time to be acknowledged.

I knew there were words I needed to share with him, to verbalize the emotions that had been hastily exchanged amid the chaos. However, the timing felt delicate, and I respected the quiet moments of rest he needed to recover.

Amidst the sea of unspoken words with Max, there was another unresolved chapter with Lando. Our camaraderie had brought us to a place of silent understanding, but there were things I needed him to know. I needed him to understand the depth of gratitude I held for his support, for bringing me to where I was today.

As I lay on my couch, I couldn't shake the constant thoughts of telling Lando my thoughts that lay so heavy. So I did what he told me to do and grabbed my journal. 

Dear Lando

I find myself at a loss for words, a sentiment that's not common for someone who lives their life in the fast lane. Yet, here I am, grappling with the weight of emotions that have lingered, unspoken, between us.

Thank you. Those two simple words feel inadequate to convey the depth of gratitude I hold for you. In the midst of this whirlwind, your unwavering support has been my anchor. Your friendship has been a sanctuary, a haven of laughter and solace that I desperately needed.

The hours we've spent together, the shared jokes, the camaraderie — they are etched in my heart. Your laughter, once a melody of joy, now echoes in the recesses of my mind, a bittersweet reminder of the moments we've cherished.

I need you to understand that your kindness, your selfless support, and the sacrifices you've made for me haven't gone unnoticed. It's as if you've been a lighthouse, cutting through the storm, guiding me through the darkness.

There's a heaviness in my heart as I write these words to you. I never deserved a friend like you, Lando. Your presence, your understanding, have been a source of strength when I felt weakest. In moments of solitude, I reflect on how you've been a constant, a steady hand in the chaos.

And now, as I grapple with choices that shape the course of my life, it breaks my heart to acknowledge that I'm choosing a path that doesn't include you in the same way. 

Your understanding, your acceptance of my decisions, mean more than you can fathom. It's a testament to the depth of our connection, one that I fear will be altered by the choices I make. I didn't deserve a friend like you, and the guilt that accompanies this realization is a burden I carry.

I've chosen a path that involves Max, a decision that comes with its own set of complexities. I hope you understand that it doesn't diminish what we've shared. You've been my confidant, my supporter, and the thought of not having you in the same way pains me.

Thank you, Lando, for being the extraordinary friend that you are. Every shared moment, every bit of advice, every smile we've exchanged has left an indelible mark on my soul. I'm thankful for you, even as the sadness of change looms.

As I looked over my writing I couldn't help but add a small additional blurb in my letter to Lando. A heartfelt wish that carried the weight of unspoken feelings,

May life lead you to someone who sees the extraordinary soul you are, who cherishes the laughter in your eyes and the warmth in your heart. You deserve nothing less than the happiness you've generously given me. Wishing you a future filled with love, Lando, because a heart as genuine as yours deserves to find its counterpart in the grand tapestry of life.

Azalea

And instead of hastily bunching it up into the drawer of my bedside table, I took a moment to select a delicate envelope from the drawer nearby. The soft, cream-colored paper felt smooth beneath my fingertips as I carefully placed the letter inside. Closing the envelope, I sealed it with deliberate gentleness, as if the emotions captured within needed a tender enclosure.

I decided to leave the envelope on the small wooden table by the window, a symbolic gesture representing the intention to send it out into the world when I felt stronger. 

The golden rays of sunlight streaming through the window cast a warm glow into the room, giving me warmth and comfort as I made my way back to the couch. 

It was time to return to Max, to the silent sanctuary he offered from the canvas that accentuated the room.