Is it the wine? ~Zosan

Locked up

~Zoro

Dammit I said the wifing up thing aloud....

The thought of being locked alone with the cook for five hours was very much appealing to me. Yet I was still pretty pissed at Nami.
Wait a minute......

This is not the first time I am pissed at Nami for something others would identify as small. I usually get irritated around her.... Could it be that I am...
Jealous?
The relationship between Nami and Sanji is deep.  They sometimes act like a married couple. No one can deny that Sanji is head over heels in love with Nami, or atleast he was?
Could it be that all this time I have been jealous of Nami becouse I like Sanji?
Maybe I have been bickering with Sanji becouse it was an easy way for me express my frustration (and get his attention)
Why was I angry? Becouse I am in love with someone who will never love me back. But I guess that is the way I like it. I am not fit for a romance.
But here we are. A miracle had blessed me with it's precense. For the first time in history, it's possible that my love interest would answer to my emotions. But can I overcome my fears?
"So Marimo, you have been spacing out. What's on your mind?" Sanji questions me. Should I ask him directly?
"A-are you in love with Nami?" I ask directly. Sanji seems shocked by my straightforwarded question, but his expression warms up quickly. "Nami is a beautiful, intelligent and strong woman whom I respect very much. But I am not in love with her. She is too good for someone like me", Sanji answers.  At the last sentance I notice the emotion he wields. "Do you hate yourself? Sorry if I am too direct. I just get the feeling at times that you are only living for others and you don't really..... care about yourself", I analyzed. Sanji's face freezes and his eyes are wielding a rare emotion in them, he looked scared. "Stop talking", he says.
Maybe I hit the spot. "Do you perhaps valuate yourself below others? Is that why you always sacrifice yourself for us? Are you actually loyal and kind or do you just hate yourself?" I provoke. "I TOLD YOU TO SHUT YOUR MOUTH!" Sanji cried.
"You are always hiding your true emotions. I can never understand you. You are a mystery Sanji. Unfortunately I am an idiot, so you will need to explain everything to me. These are just some thoughts that I have come up with while trying to solve the mystery behind you", I explain. Sanji calms down a little.
I sit infront of him. I am suprised that sensitive bastard is not crying.
"Since we are locked up in here for awhile, I can use this chance to get answers before we go too far. I am sure you understand why I want to know if you are suicidal", I declare.
Sanji's eyes widen up at the last sentance. "What did you just suggest?" he asks me. He looks at me like I was the devil himself.
"I am suggesting that you are depressed", I say. I am really testing the limits of my luck here. Provoking Sanji might not be the world's greatest idea. Sanji's pupils are small, and his brows are tilted forward. He was angry.
"Why would I be depressed when everything is fine? I have friends, I have adventures, I have everything I wanted. What could possibly be wrong?" Sanji ponders. "Whenever someone is not looking at you, you never smile. Your smile is fake 90% of the time. You drown yourself to cigarettes. You are way too emotional for your own good and oh last but not least; you hate yourself", I explain.
"I don't know why thought. Maybe it is due to something that happened long ago", I continue my analysis.
Sanji's eyes are wielding only one emotion, fury
"Well atleast I have emotions unlike you. You are colder than ice!" Sanji snaps. "You know quite well that what you are saying is incorrect. How would you explain last night then?" I argument. Sanji calmed down a little and his ckeecks were covered by a faint blush. "I-it was just something you did for pleasure. It's not like you care about me", Sanji analyzed. His voice cracked at the last sentance and I could sence that he was about to cry. Does Sanji really think that low of me?
"Why would you think that?" I ask a bit harsher than I meant to. Sanji flinches at my sudden rush of anger. "Well it's not like you intend to love me or anything? It was just the wine wasn't it?"

No, it was not the wine.
I really had deep feelings for the man standing infront of me.
Yet I couldn't open my mouth to tell him the truth. For the first time in ages, I was scared. I felt the terror paralyzing my body.

"You're right, it must have just been the wine", I mumbled and looked away from him.