My Bestfriend

Cloudy

My bones, my blood, everything freezes in place. I feel paralyzed and the walls won't stop swaying in front of me. Run is the first thing that comes to mind, run, run, run, and hide from everyone and everything, cry quitly to yourself.

No I am better than this, I will stay here with a big smile on my face, nothing happened and everything is fine. Keep smiling is what I say to myself and I think it's working or maybe not. Lando is walking towards us with Kiara to his side and suddenly I am not okay, everything is spinning.

Lando goes to speak but I cut him off, <<I have to use the bathroom sorry>> and I am walking away. I am walking too fast, I think I am running. I have got to hold my tears until I reach the bathroom but my eyes are burning. I get in and lock the door, I don't care if anyone wants to use the sink or the other toilets but right now they can't.

I look myself in the mirror and I burst out crying. I can't believe him, after all our years of friendship he choose her over me. He could have said nothing or that he picks both of us.

My cheeks are wet from tears. The only person that I though he wouldn't hurt me, he did.My first friend. My only friend when I had none betrayed me. How could he choose someone else over me, his childhood bestfriend. We have been friends with Lando for 20 years and he has known Kiara for 2 years.

<<Babe you okay in there, it's been 5 minutes>> oh my sweet boy Charles. He is worried but I can't find the words to answer him, I don't want him to see me like that. <<Babe I know you are in there>> I have to answer, <<I am fine just give me a minute>> I try to sound normal but my voice breaks.

<<Open the door for me>> he is worried but I don't say anything. <<I am not leaving Cloudy so you better open the door for me please>> I can't do anything else, can I?

I unlock the door and he gets in closing it again. He hugs me tight but not even his hug can stop me from crying. <<Love what happened?>> his voice touching my neck. His arms are wrapped entirely around me, trying to keep me together because I am falling apart.

<<Did you hear the last question that Lando was asked>> I wait for his answer and he nods, <<We have been bestfriends for our entire lives but he chose her over me>> and I am crying again. I think my eyes are bleeding and my mind has gone to hell. Charles is whispering words of comfort I can't hear because my mind went blank a long time ago.

Charles is rocking me back and forth, and it's only then that I realize I am crying too loud. I want to speak but I can say nothing, can form nothing but heavy breaths. I break free of his arms, gasping and clutching my stomach.

<<Love it's okay please stop crying I am here for you>> Charles voice sounds so concerned. <<I am sure he didn't mean it like that, please calm down>> and he hugs me again. <<Thank you>> I finally talk. I know I have to stop crying but I can't. I feel that my heart was ripped and broken into million pieces. Charles gets the hair out of my face and smiles at me. He is so sweet.

I am trying to calm down and get myself together. I am breathing heavily again and again, that is how I calm down. <<Babe copy my breathing>> Charles places my hand in his chest.

<<Cloudy why are you crying what did he do to you?>> Lando- he is outside the bathroom. <<Mate leave>> Charles says. <<That's not happening>> Lando sounds mad. <<He said leave what did you not understand>> I scream at him. Silence and I am sick again.

<<Charles>> I choke on his name and I am crying again. <<Shh babe, it's okay>> and my mind goes blank again, I can't hear Charles comforting me.

I don't remember when Lando left or what he said. All I know is that I have been wrapped in Charles arms crying. Long enough for tears to turn into salt.

Pull your self together that's not who you are, you are strong, grow up and suddenly I don't care. I wipe my tears and let go of Charles. Charles looks at me suprised.

<<Come on, I am not going to cry for the whole day I have better things to do>> I smile, he is so confused, <<You sure, you are okay?>> he says. <<Yep, I am fine f*ck Lando>> I feel nothing. That's what I always do, I shut my feelings down, I know it's bad but I have always been this way and I am not changing it now. I am not a crybaby and I am still hurt with what Lando said but I don't care.

I look at my face in the mirror and refresh my makeup. I turn and look at Charles and I take his hand in mine and we walk out.

We are walking towards Lilliana, Kiara and L- no I am not saying his name. Lilliana sees me and runs to me.

<<I am excited to see you too>> I say to Lilliana that is hugging my legs. Charles is still holding my hand when Lando whispers something in his ear. Does he think that I am deaf.

<<What did you do to her>> Lando says to Charles. <<I don't think I am the one that hurt her, mate>> Charles winks at Lando with a serious face. I want to laugh Lando looks like he saw a ghost.

<<We have to go, we will see you guys later at Lewis's party?>> Charles is grinning at Lando. <<We will be there>> Kiara says.

Me, Lilliana and Charles are walking away. Charles has Lilliana in his arms and Lilliana looks at him like he is the most beautiful man in the world. I don't blame her because he is. We arrive at Charles car and I put Lilliana in the back seat. Charles is dropping us back to the hotel and he will come back because he has practise.

McLaren doesn't need me and it's too late for Lilliana.

[...]

I am getting ready, Lilliana is sleeping and her mum is back. Lewis is hosting a party, a dinner or something in between. I will go and have fun for a night. My phone lights, it's Charles he is waiting for me down. 

I take the elevator and I am looking at my beautiful pink dress in the mirror. The elevator stops and the door opens. I see Charles and I walk towards him. He is looking outside and I cough to take his attention. 

He looks at me mesmerized. I do a spin, <<How do I look?>> I ask him. <<Gorgeous>> he says and gives me a kiss. <<Everyone is going to look at you>> he places his hand around my waist and we are walking out of the hotel.

We arrive at the party and Lewis opens the door for us. <<Charles man I didn't believe you when you said she was that beautiful but oh I was wrong>> Lewis says to Charles. <<Hello to you too Lewis, I am Cloudy>> I say to him and he laughs. <<Nice to meet you, come in guys>> Lewis says and leads us in.

The night has been great so far but I need some air. So I go at the balcony. I am admirring the stars when Lando comes. I don't turn to look at him, I know it's him by his perfume.

<<Hey>> he says smilling. <<Hi, Lan>> I look at him. <<How are you?>> he asks me. <<I am fine thank you>> I answer him. If you said to me 1 year ago that me and Lando would talk like strangers, I would have laughed in your face. <<Why are we like that Cloudy, we became strangers>> he says and I am wondering if he can read my mind.

Rage is filling me. <<Really Lando you are asking that>> he looks scared of what I am about to say. <<You are asking that when you were crashing my date with Charles but I forgave you because you are my bestfriend and after that you choose fricking Kiara over me, did you forget our promise?>> I pause. <<Our friendship over everyone and everything else>> I say too loud.

My eyes start forming tears, I have been betrayed and I am not going to pretend like nothing happened. I always had put Lando over anyone else but he didn't and I am hurt and I can't stand him right now.

I start walking away when he grabs my arm. <<Please Cloudy wait>> he is begging. <<No Lando I am not in the mood to hear your apology because I am going to say things I don't mean>> and I leave.

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It's getting sad and drama is rising. See ya next saturday.