The woke again to the wonderful walls of the infirmary, it was as if he lived there these days. It was empty, Pomfrey crushing a salve.
The memories of last night came. All he wanted to do was sleep after the stupid breakdown of his, all he wanted was to rest but fletchley wouldn't let him "Hey Nott is it true you killed your own mother?" his taunting voice called out in his mind, the drawl of it making Theo's blood boil but he didn't respond, he never did.
And the boy kept pushing, asking questions and calling him names until he was practically inside Theo's dorm.
Then he got frustrated, demanded and answer from theo and we went as far as to call him a mute. When theo obviously ignored him again he striked, leaving the boy bloodied. He remembered thinking he'd just heal it, laying on his bed, and finding a pretty valley lilly on his bed before passing out.
"Ah, you're awake, how do you feel?" Pomfrey asked, setting a bottle down beside his bed. Theo felt an ache around his rib area which he told her about. "My throat burns too" he added, she frowned "let's hope the wounds not infected, be a dear and open up for me" she peered into Theo's open mouth and sighed "No infection as far as I'm sure, I'll give you some echinacea nectar to help sooth the pain along with this dittany salve that i want you to apply every time you feel a pain. It's going to scar, only faintly though."
She had a sombre look but theo didn't care about scarring, his back wasn't new to it and it was about time he rest of his body got used to it too. He drank the strange potion she made and the pain simmered down, headache leaving but the knot in his throat remaining.
An impatient knock on the door made the woman sigh "those friends of yours have been out there all night long, pesky little buggers" she chuckled, theo somehow felt the urge to smile back but bit it down when she walked away to let them in.
"ohmygods please tell me you're okay" Draco hurried to his side, hand on his forehead to check for his temperature and other on his wrist to check his pulse, pansy sat at his side with Blaise "I'm fine" he hummed, noticing pansy's angered look and Blaise's satisfied one "what happened?" he asked, knowing the answer wasn't going to be pretty "i gave that fucker the beating of his life" the girl grinned, Blaise sighed "and i had to deal with the aftermath" theo nodded, taking it in
"honestly, if Longbottom didn't find you so soon you'd have probably died" Draco frowned, still checking him for any underlying illness by looking into his eyes, opening his mouth, looking over at his wounds. Theo's heart stopped, Longbottom found him?
He didn't know that. But then his heart started again, now louder and louder and the same way from before he felt so light and weird, all fuzzy and dizzy and warm. His face burned, ears ringing loudly while his vision fuzzed. Warmth dripped down his cheek and he knew what was happening. It came back, that feeling of dread and fear for not knowing what was plaquing him.
"Theo?" pansy frowned, seeing the tears fall. His limbs shook, feeling the air knock out of his lungs. "What's happening to me?" he asked in desperation, angrily wiping at the tears.
He didn't like it one bit. That curse was meant to destroy these feelings, it was meant to relieve him of the burden he carried. "The curse is lifting, you have to let it" Draco sighed, arm around his shoulder comfort. It felt as if something was clawing at his chest, trying to be set free.
He didn't want the curse to be lifted; he wanted it to stay. It protected him for so long, kept him from feeling sympathy or trust. Those were dangerous feelings "but it isn't meant to lift" he found himself whispering, agonised at losing such a powerful barrier.
"It leaves when you feel something you haven't before, that's why you've been so stressed lately, your mind doesn't know how to process new emotions since you've had them hidden for so long" Blaise explained in a matter-of-fact voice. "Do you know what it might be?" theo wasn't feeling anything new.
Not as far as he knew. But then he remembered. "Well.. there's this pain i have right here in my chest and my body gets all warm and dizzy. It comes and goes and I've never had it before" he explained to Draco, pointing a finger to where his heart would be, at first he thought it was an illness of some sort, but it didn't make him feel sick in any way.
"When was the last time it happened?" he thought back to it, memory working patiently "yesterday when i walked Longbottom to the greenhouse" he supplied and pansy asked next, a sceptical look on her face "and the first time it happened?" thinking again his brain gave him the answer "the greenhouse, right after i saw Longbottom asleep in the ferns" there was a pattern "then again in hogsmeade, Longbottom was there"
Blaise looked at pansy and Draco who stared back "you reckon he's just cursed me and it's not lifting?" he asked with suspicion and hope in his tone if Longbottom cursed him it'd be easy to deal with and the curse would stay to protect him either way. "No, theo it isn't a curse. It's... well-" he began to explain, not able to find the words and knowing that whatever it was would make theo upset or distressed.
"You're in love" pansy answered instead. Theo paused, throat beginning to rumble with laughter, mirth in his body as he finally laughed for the first time in 4 years, "that's funny but jokes aside what's going on?" he chuckled
"we're not joking. Theo you're seriously in love with Longbottom" Draco shook his head and the reality of it sank in, he's never felt love before.
Did it really feel this bad? Or would it be better now he knew. He's always read books that spoke of love and how wonderful it was yet this was anything but. He wanted to claw it away, to use his hands and rip it out of his body so his life could go back to normal
"i can brew a simple nightshade to help with the panic attacks but the rest your body has to get used to on its own" Draco purred, handing him more healing potions. With one gulp it was empty and he placed it back, seeing a gorgeous marigold.
They were Theo's favourite, they symbolise both death and life simultaneously and he always loved that. It fit in his palm perfectly when he picked it up, the smell of it burning through the room. "Longbottom left it, said it brought luck" Blaise hummed, theo felt warm again, theo felt something weird happen to his face, muscles pulling back and causing a smile to rest upon his face. No one's left him a flower before, no one really cared enough to do so and no one knew he liked these specific ones.
His heart tightened, beating fruitfully. Pomfrey came by, checked him and said he'd be allowed to leave as long as he was careful. Draco kept nitpicking on her work before leaving, theo behind him. Luna was walking by, floating happily as she hummed.
"Oh! Hullo theo!" she beamed, at his side quickly as she twirled happily, the long earrings she wore fluttering. "hullo " he responded, Luna was probably the only other person he actually trusted, she was kind to him, she's been kind for a while not that anyone's ever cared enough to notice "how're you feeling?" she pointed to his chest, he shrugged "not bad, just dizzy. What've you been getting up to? It's been a while" he found himself smiling again, the girl hummed, latching herself to his arms and leaning into him as she did when Theo was in second year.
"Oh not much, but i did find a cool flower you might like! It's got purple petals and a blue leaf" he hadn't heard of such a flower before, the girl explained that she'd fund it looking for grizzlygups in the coastal coves, theo promised to check it out with her later and she left happily, humming and floating down the halls.
The common room was practically empty, people either outside or in hogsmeade on the last day of their weekend. Theo felt tired, Draco urging him to sleep, which he did. But not before noticing his bed smelt strongly of lavenders. He drifted off, wondering why he felt so safe in the smell.
A/N Yipee!! self-discovery and half-denial :) i love theo, he's so silly, He just needs a hug and some homecooked meals and he'll be okay
YOU ARE READING
I Think I Like It When It Rains / TheoNev.
RomanceTheodore Nott was used to being in the background, he preferred it really, saved him the unneeded attention. 8th year was much the same, save for harrowing panic attacks and cliches roads of self-discovery. who'd have known that one Neville Longbott...
