𝕯𝚎𝚜𝚒𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚒𝚞𝚖 [tpnXreader]

Chapter 7: 𝗠𝖺𝗅𝖺𝖽𝗒

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╔═ ⌕ ᴰᴱᶠᴵᴺᴱ  ═════════╗
⎆ mal•a•dy
↳ a disease or ailment.
╚═════════ ➥ᴱᴺᵀᴱᴿ  ═╝

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.·:*¨༺ 𓆩⟡𓆪 ༻¨*:·.

When I first got my memories back, even before I got here, I didn't believe s--t that I was part of this family thing with the kids. I faked a smile and played with them. I don't believe in family bonds, really.

They fight over who's cheating, who's got the debt, who's working late, who stole their stuff, etc. They argue over anything. There's no strong bond between a family. I don't see it.

But seeing these kids makes me want to puke. All smiles, laugh, fun, and s--t that are unbelievable to have in an everyday life. You don't know what a person has been through.

You don't know whether the person has been abused, rediculed, even getting physically touched by a family member. Disgusting. It's all disgusting and gross. Vile, nasty, horrid, just everything is all f---king gross.

Yet, these kids that are smiling at me with pure intent are making me hate myself even more than I already have. I want to die peacefully. But those people won't let me. If I die here, they'll just bring me back to life.

It would only be a torture to die and be revived over and over again. I hate these kids. I hate myself. I hate them. I hate the worlds that I have been to. I hate everything.

Living in this house is like living in hell. No. It doesn't fit right. Heaven disguise as hell is what I see. I won't believe family bonds are strong enough to hold their love and care for each other.

But then again, this heaven in disguise can be hell in disguise for some kids who know the truth. Like Emma, Norman, and Ray for example. They see this heaven as hell because their family members are dying one by one every two months.

I guess I can call this my haven. I can smile happily and have fun before dying happy. To them, that isn't right. But to me, it sounds amazing. Isabella did the right thing to make children die happy.

Pitiful.

I can watch their pity lives all day. Sounds messed up? Then why do people have a humor for death? Why do people laugh when they say something rude to their friend? Why are they okay with people dying here and there like it's normal, even if the killer is right in their streets?

It's all a coping mechanism.

Though they smile, they're actually depressed inside. They laugh but they hurt themselves in secret. They compliment their friends but they are insecure themselves. They insult people because they think they're the king/queen.

It's all pitiful.

Every life is pitiful.

There will always be a day that your life will turn into the best ones to the worst of the worst. Life is a gamble, they say. It is. But then again, it isn't. It's just a normal life.