Escape of Sweet Cinnamon

My Sweet Cinnamon

My Sweet Cinnamon

Ang hirap niyang abutin. 

She was like the great wall of china. I sometimes wonder, may dugo ba siyang chinese? It was like I needed to work so hard to be part of her life. 

It was like I need to study everything about her... 

Hindi ko nga inisip na ganito pala siya kataas. Nung una kasi naming pagkikita para lang siyang mahinhin... a girl who will cry and ask for help anytime. 

I really thought of her as someone jolly and sweet. 

Turns out, she was the opposite. 

And I wonder... anong meron sa akin at nagkaroon ako ng chance na makita siyang ganon? 

I wouldn't lie, I liked her like that. But, I didn't know na una't huling beses ko pala siyang makikitang ganon. 

She was so hard with everything— with everyone...  with herself. 

I hated her for that. Can't she just be weak once in a while? 

Hindi ba siya pwedeng mapagod? Kaka-prove sa lahat ng tao na nasa paligid niya? 

She said she doesn't care about them pero sa lahat ng ginagawa niya? It's ironic. Sabi niya wala siyang pakialam pero kabaliktaran ang pinapakita niya. 

Her defense mechanism was to be mad with everyone and conclude such sharp words that will make you question your existence... it was her defense mechanism to hide her pain. 

Deanna hates it. 

She hates everything. 

And I hated the fact that she hates herself too. 

"Thank you..." she mumbled with her head down. Hindi ko tuloy mapigilan ang sarili na hindi mapangiti dahil sa kaniya. 

Ang cute niya kaya. Aware ba siya don? 

"No prob! Good luck!" I said cheerfully para naman ma-cheer siya. Mahirap mag exam na maraming iniisip. 

I believe that passing an exam is not the basis of ones intelligence but the state of their capacity nung tinake nila ang exam na 'yon. Hindi naman porket bumagsak ka, ibig sabihin bobo ka o di nag-aral. Minsan kaya di pumapasa ang tao was because they weren't okay when they took the exam. 

And I don't want her to flunk this exam just because she's carrying the world on her back right now. 

I wanted her to pass. Malay ko ba kung makita ko pa siya ulit sa susunod. 

Mabuti na lang at may isa pang section na hindi pa rin nagsisimula kaya kahit na twenty minutes kaming late ay hindi naapektuhan ang exam. Mabuti na rin talaga at kasabay ko siya, same tuloy kami ng room.

"Lopez?" The proctor called looking at us both. I raised my hand with a soft smile on my face. Tinuro nung proctor ang upuan ko. Alphabetically kasi. 

"Miranda?" Napalingon naman ako sa babaeng nagtaas ng kamay. She walked towards me and sat on the chair right beside me. Iniwan niya na rin 'yung bag niya sa unahan at nilagay ang pencil and test permit niya sa table. 

I was just looking at her... observing her. May pumasok for the school updates at pinicturan ang class but I did not mind them as I was so busy observing her every movement. 

Hindi rin nakatakas sa paningin ko kung gaano siya ka-seryoso na akala mo ay hindi umiyak kanina.

I think it was the universe doing that time.. nag shut down phone niya, nawala test permit niya, hinahanap ko mommy ko at kinailangan kong dumaan sa may office na 'yon.