𝐜𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐚 - 𝐧𝐢𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐦𝐮𝐫𝐚 𝐫𝐢𝐤𝐢

13. this is how it feels

     ‧˚₊⋅ ୨୧ ⋅₊˚‧

this is how it feels - d4vd, laufey

a/n: guys i definitely recommend listening to this song for the whole experience <3

     Eagerly, you watch the clock that hung in solitude on your bare walls. The sound of its monotonous ticking were the only source of noise within your confined abode. With your newfound deterministic approach to life after having a much needed talk with your beloved friend, you decided to halt the beating of the bush. Poor bush. Instead, you spent the weekend racking up the courage to finally approach the boy who's been riddling your cerebrum. You picture your frontal lobe in a state of utter confusion. It was all Niki. Every thought, every decision, every reason surrounded this boy. So you decided to take it upon yourself to act on your own accord. Then again, wouldn't that be considered free will and not determinism? Good thing your major wasn't psychology.

Finally!

The clock struck 7:30, and without looking back, you yelled a quick goodbye to your cat, and hurriedly made your way out the door. The bus was on time today, which is probably more rare than finding a pink sheep spawn naturally in Minecraft, so you felt it was a sign from the world that today is the day. There's so much you wanted to tell Niki. You made sure to write down every topic of discussion on a small piece of paper the day prior just in case you forget. You read over them on the way to school and added smaller things as well. A new album. A convenience store snack that's been your latest obsession. How much you missed him. Your cheeks flushed after reading that bullet point, forgetting momentarily that you squeezed that part in before sleep had overcome you. With uncertainty and hesitance, you found your pen hovering over those words. Is that too weird? No. The whole point of you and Niki's problem was that you weren't being upfront with him nor yourself. Taking out your pencil case, you rummaged through it until your eyes caught sight of your favorite gray highlighter. With as much precision as one on a moving bus could have, you make a point to highlight that bullet point specifically.

"so this is how it feels to fall in love with you, to always think of you, to always dream of you"

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧ ⁺˚⋆｡°✩₊⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧ ⁺˚⋆｡°✩₊⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧ ⁺˚⋆｡°✩₊⋆ ˚｡⋆

Your eyes were set on your classroom door. It was too early, and you knew for a fact that Niki wasn't there yet. With that in mind, your eyes faltered to another door to the right of your destination. You would rather die than use a public restroom, thanks to your microbiology class and the fear of people overhearing you taking a shit, so you avoided them at all costs, but you wanted to make sure you looked okay before approaching your friend of avoidance.

As soon as the door opened, three pairs of beady eyes stared into your direction. With upturned noses and a sneer painted on their faces, the trio watched every step you took to the sink that lay beside theirs. Kinda like those Discovery Channel shows where the predator is eyeing their next source of food. It's funny because Shein and Dumb and Dumber were never alone. Always in their little wolf pact, scheming on who to feed on next. Like a bunch of furries. You're sure their tactic was to intimidate you. To remind you how inferior you are. But in all honesty, you could not give a single shit. Literally and figuratively. They watched as you washed your hands and you watched their makeup bags propped on the sink in disgust. The amount of bacteria that's forming on their makeup that they apply to their skin is appalling. You didn't consider yourself a germaphobe but - "Do you like Niki?"