My Dearest Darling

Chapter 19

She was tired. That was the first thing that came to mind when Baxter woke her up from her afternoon nap to help her ready herself for dinner.

Cora had spent the entire day in their bedroom, fast asleep whenever someone came up to check in on her. She only left the familiar comfort of the bedroom to have luncheon with her husband, mother, and brother in one of the dining rooms downstairs, returning almost immediately after to get back into bed. Come to think of it, that had been what the entire last week had looked like for the Countess. The first few days after their arrival in America, she had still had enough energy to go out with her husband. She had shown him around the city she grew up in and visited the places of her childhood together with her Robert, but that source of energy seemed to have dried up entirely a few days ago. Since then, she had constantly been feeling so fatigued and her whole body had been aching.

This was no different. Her trustworthy lady's maid had woken her up a few minutes ago like she had requested to help her get ready for dinner downstairs with her family. By the time Robert entered the bedroom dressed in his black evening suit, Baxter was putting the finishing touches on Cora's intricate coiffure.

His wardrobe had not changed too drastically since his mother's quite recent passing, especially in the evenings. The men's evening suits had always been black for as long as Cora could remember. The only times she had seen Robert wear something other than a black dinner jacket was when they attended military dinners, which had luckily not been too often. Those were always so incredibly stuffy and full of self-important men in uniforms and their often rather silent and intimidated wives. Cora was more than happy that Robert had never turned into one of those men, and had instead only become more loving as the years went on.

Cora's own wardrobe, however, had changed considerably. She was not wearing one of her usual rather lightly coloured dresses she usually chose. The blue dresses had always been the ones Robert loved on her the most, seeing as they always seemed to bring out the blue of her eyes and the rich colour of her dark hair in contrast to it. He never ceased to remind her of this and she revelled in his compliments and the kisses that would most often follow.

Robert was taken aback when he saw her sitting at her vanity with her maid busy with her hair. Seeing his wife dressed in a black evening gown with matching black gloves already lying ready on the vanity in front of her was never going to be something he would get used to, and he did not want to. The dark colour was a stark contrast to her pale skin, as it had always been. The rather dim light of her bedroom made her look almost ghostly as the winter moon's rays fell on her slender figure, and, together with her now even more prominent cheekbones, it cast shadows on her sunken cheeks.

"Are you really okay to come down for dinner, dear? I could always ask them to prepare a tray for us to have in here," asked Robert. He kept eyeing her intently, looking for any sign of hesitation or doubts in her answer and body language.

"Yes, darling. If I don't leave this room now, I think I might start to go mad very soon," she replied with a slight chuckle as she put her silky gloves on and looked up at him with her big eyes. He knew that she was waiting for him to put out his arm for her to take. Putting on the gloves had become her sign for him to come and escort her down.

This quipped reply seemed to have appeased him – he instantly walked over and held out his arm for her like he always did, smiling gently at her when he felt her hand slip into the crook of his arm.

It worried Robert greatly that she was sleeping so much and still seemed so very tired upon waking and getting up, her movements had become so slow in recent days. But there was nothing he could do for her other than being there for her and listening to what she asked of him — which had never been much. And that fact had not changed in the least throughout their long marriage. This was one of the many reasons why he had never denied her anything she asked of him, he simply couldn't.