My Dearest Darling

Chapter 24

It was late. Very late, in fact. A quick glance at the giant grandfather clock nearby told him that it was almost 1 in the morning.

However, sleep seemed to be evading him that night, despite his feeling of fatigue after being horribly seasick for most of the day yet again. Robert had never done too well on boats and ships, and this time was no different. In fact, this must have been one of the worst journeys he ever experienced. And then there had also been that conversation with Cora in the afternoon that did not bring him any closure as he had hoped.

Bates and Baxter had left them to their own devices over three, almost four hours ago, and Cora was fast asleep lying next to him in bed. She seemed so peaceful in her slumber as he watched her, with no worry lines on her almost angelic face.

Everything was quiet around them, even the sea had calmed down a while ago. People seemed to have all gone to sleep on the grand ship, there was almost nothing to be heard from anywhere. And yet, he couldn't seem to be able to stop his tossing and turning, never finding a position comfortable enough to fall asleep in. Robert's mind just would not shut off, it kept screaming something at him at full volume. What it was trying to tell him, he did not know.

Ultimately, after another ten minutes had passed without him finding sleep, he decided to just get up out of bed. It would not do to wake Cora with his incessant moving. Robert wrapped his florally embroidered dressing gown tightly around himself and put on his house slippers to ward off the general coldness of the suite. He certainly missed the fireplace that was always lit in their bedroom at home and the warmth and comfort it always brought.

Walking quietly, he went to the sitting area of their suite and came to a halt near one of the round windows. Looking around in the very dimly lit room, he decided to settle into one of the armchairs that was standing close by.

Quickly, though, he found that staring into the darkness that lay outside within the deep ocean, the only light coming from the moon and stars above, was not exactly helping matters. The tranquillity of the scene before his eyes only seemed to make his mind turn faster, the thoughts running even more rampant than before when he was still in bed. The contrast between the tranquillity and serenity outside and his inner turmoil was quite stark, he had to admit.

Sighing quite loudly in desperation, Robert heaved himself out of the plush chair near the window and left their suite, not caring about his rather scandalous state of undress — his mother for sure would have thrown a tantrum had she ever seen him leave any room like this at the Abbey, let alone on a ship.

He knew there was only one thing he could possibly do after his mind went back to a conversation he had had before they had embarked on their journey to America.

++++++++++++++

It took a while, but eventually, the door opened. The person living inside squinted out through the only slightly opened door to see who was standing out in the barely lit hallway, knocking at this ungodly hour. When the sleepy man recognized the slightly hunched figure clad in only his pyjamas and a dressing gown, he stood straighter that instant, becoming more alert.

"Milord! Is there something wrong?" Bates asked hurriedly, clearly shocked at the unexpected sight before him. This was an unprecedented situation for both of them, and the valet did not really know how to handle it. Apparently, his employer had walked the entire length of the ship at nighttime to come and find him, dressed in nothing more than his nightclothes and dressing gown. This could only mean there was something terribly wrong, maybe there was a problem with the ship?

"No, John. That is — I don't quite know in all honesty."

Hearing the uncertainty and trepidation in his voice, Bates opened the door wider to let him in — the use of his first name going unnoticed in his confused and sleepy state.