All the Colors of Earth (Natasha Romanoff)

2.1

Marzda

May 16, 2014

I'd forgotten how silent it was in the countryside.
How still.
How calm.

I made it to the Paris villa a few days ago. Leaving the country was surprisingly easy, like someone wanted me to leave.

Other than Natasha.

My hand drifts to my stomach as I think about her, holding the last piece of her that I have. "I'm sorry little bean," I tell the growing life inside me. "This isn't the life I wanted for you. A life on the run is no life for a child."

If you have it.

If I have it. I sigh as the thought swirls in my head. It wasn't the first time and I doubt it would be the last.

Obviously I wanted my child. The last piece of evidence that Natasha had once loved me. But could I raise a child as a fugitive? I had no family, no friends, most of my safe houses were burned and so were my alias accounts. I kept money, passports and supplies in all of them, but it wasn't enough to live off of in the long run.

The only people I could potentially turn to were the crews I'd worked for in the past. But they were a last resort.

"What do you think bean?" I ask, as if the life inside me could answer. "I think it's much to silent in here."

Tossing back the blankets, I go to the stereo that's across the room and flick it on. The radio crackles to life and music fills the small house. I immediately start to relax, not realizing how tense I'd been.

"Maybe some tea," I mutter as I head towards the kitchen. "Maybe that'll make me tired."

The villa is small, only a single bedroom and bathroom with a kitchen and living area. Nothing extravagant, but as far as safe houses go, it was one of my nicer ones.

I'd hoped that maybe Natasha and I could come here for a vacation, I know she'd love it. It was just cozy enough that she wouldn't feel cooped up, and far enough from the nearest town to be safe.

But also far enough to get really lonely. Not that I could go into town and socialize what with being a wanted fugitive.

I sigh and dig in the cabinets for a kettle, finding everything but the thing I need. Why did I have four of the same size pots? Or an entire drawer of pens and a cabinet of nothing but different types of notebooks?

Maybe one of my old crew broke in and was playing a prank. Not that I could ask any of them since they were all dead. Of course the only one who even knew about this house was Peter and he wasn't exactly the practical joke kind of guy.

When I finally find the kettle, in the fridge of all places, making the tea went by easily. I'd found my stockpile as I'd ransacked the kitchen. The hardest part was waiting.

My mind kept churning over everything. All that had happened, all that I said and should have said. My eyes land on the cabinet of notebooks and I slowly get up to grab one, along with one of my many pens. Sitting back down, I open it to the first blank page and the a torrent of words spill from me.

My Dearest Natasha,

I'm so sorry for everything. I never meant to hurt you. I never meant to betray your trust.

I know that you won't believe me when I say that I love you, but I do. Even after everything that you said, everything that I deserved. Because you're right, I am a lot. My life, or rather my past, is a lot. And I should have told you everything, I wanted to, but I was scared.

Scared of losing you and the future we could have.

But I did end up losing you in the end. Some would probably call it karma for everything that I've done in the past, but I just call it bullshit.

We deserve to be happy, Natasha. We deserve to love and be loved. We deserve a family.

And speaking of family...

I need to tell you something. Something I should have told you the moment I found out. But again, I was scared of losing you. It seems silly now that I think back.

Before I tell you though, you should know something about my species. You know that the Bond chooses a partner for us that has compatible dna with our own. But what I didn't tell you was why.

Colorians were on the brink of extinction until our scientists found a way to make genetically superior children. But I'm order for the children to thrive, both parents dna had to have a certain gene. I don't know what it is, all I know is that it makes the children of a Bonded pair.. powerful.

And you also know that the Bond doesn't care what gender anyone is, hence us.

Why am I telling you about Colorian history, you may be asking. I think you know, or at least suspect.

But I'll say it anyway-

I'm pregnant.

Forever Yours,
Marz