The world of my inner | journal

February 14 - 2024

It's Valentine's Day! Happy valentines everyone, I truly hope you all get to spend it with someone special in your life, your best friend, your boyfriend, husband, parents, family. I think it's quite funny with Valentines because it's not until like later years that I myself have understood that it's not about spending it with the person you are in love with, it's about spending it with someone you love and cherish. And that can be anyone. Really. And that is the beautiful thing with Valentine's Day. And honestly, you can spend it with yourself. Bear with me. Don't go "oh that is so tragic", "oh that is pathetic.". Hold on a second. Here is a lesson for you all. Who is the person you should love, cherish, appreciate and respect the most in the world?

Yourself

Right? You know I'm right so why do I even ask. And if you don't love yourself, cherish yourself, appreciate yourself and respect yourself, how do expect someone else to? Simple. You can't demand respect without feeling it yourself. And that is why I don't think it's sad or tragic or pathetic to spend Valentine's Day by yourself. You are taking some time to love on yourself, to appreciate yourself, to treat yourself. And that is one of the best things you can do. That will make you invincible. No one will be able to walk all over you because inside you have already won. You've made it. You love yourself enough to not let whatever someone says affect you, you don't take it to heart. You cherish yourself enough to not surround yourself with people who are deliberately trying to take you down or punch a hole through your ideas. You appreciate yourself enough to be able to be alone in your own company, which by the way, not many people can do. You respect yourself enough to let people go, to not let them get to your head. If you mastered all these, you will be the king of the world. You've won. People will respect you, seek your attention and company, ask you for advice. But that's when it's important to separate inner circle from outer circle and know in which circle each person should be in so things doesn't get overwhelming.

Who do you put in your inner circle? I've been trying to figure that out for over a year and it's extremely hard because you kind of have to put your friends to a test. See who will support you, respect you, respect your boundaries, respect your values and principles, who won't take advantage of you, who will make you laugh, who doesn't continuously tell you you aren't good enough, who makes you better. And like I mentioned, you kind of have to put your friends to a test to see if they qualify to be in your inner circle. Just write down everything you want your friend in your inner circle to do, respect, etc and well, see if they check out the boxes. It is okay to structure and compartmentalise a little. You will be thankful later on when you've found your inner circle. So for me, for an example. I have a quite large friend group, 9 people and we hang out weekly doing different things. Out of these 9 people, there is one person who has made it to my inner circle, 1 out of 9. The rest I really do cherish, I respect them and I like hanging out with them. But I don't reach out to them if I'm having a bad day or something has happened. They haven't earned the rights to know what is truly going on in my life. Only one person has. And that is a friendship I would do everything for. I would drop everything to help her. I push her to her limits so she can grow as a person and she pushes my limits as well. She is younger than me by a few years so naturally I've matured more and have more wisdom but she definitely teaches me a lot of things. Things that I find valuable like traits and how to not act like a teenage girl😂 maybe that sounded very harsh, she doesn't act like a teenage girls but she is around a lot of teenage girl drama. And you know, I know when I need to keep my distance because I'm not in that era with drama, I want to get as far away from it as possible. But our friendship is so unique and special that I would take a bullet for it. There is no one on this planet I laugh with as much as I laugh with her. There is no one who knows me like she does. We've been there through storms and blizzards just as much as the sunniest of days. So that is a friendship I value hard and that I keep in my inner circle.