shame

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I have never tasted any blood but mine. The tubelight rests on my temple and purity has never dug itself so deep. This is no way to keep, to love, to seep. I search for the meaning of love and curiosity finds me first. I want to be the crease under your eyes, over them and the cold sting by your spine. For once I want destroy not pick at the gaps. To walk past with a sweet aftertaste. Purity has a sick yearning to puncture itself. 

 This is no way to love but I just want to fucking destroy something for once!! Once in my life I want to be the clawing hand I want reprieve through destruction I want the cuts to be mine I want to claim a wound that isn't on my body I want to recline in another's blood I need that warmth 

I want exit through your body 

Everyone around me hurts so fucking easily when is it my fucking turn? I want to wound 

Tired tired tired I'm so fucking tired of myself. This is no way to love I know but how do I make this go away without giving into it? I want to erase my entire being. This is no memory to keep on the earth I want to drown I want to fucking drown and never be found again


feb 4, 24

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