Never You (Penelope/Colin)

Part 1

Penelope stared out at the pond, her last conversation with Colin still running through her mind. I miss you. Few months ago his words would have sparked incredible joy in her but hearing his smug confession last night had elicited nothing but rage. Even now an explosive anger threatened to burn her from the inside out - but she reminded herself to stay composed. Losing her calm over Colin Bridgerton was simply not worth it, not when she had far more important things to worry about.

"Penelope. How are you?"

Hearing Lady Violet's voice from behind, she turned around to greet the older woman. Except she wasn't alone. Of course not. Behind her stood most of her family, Colin and Eloise on one side, Gregory and Hyacinth on the other. Penelope quickly shifted her gaze back to Lady Violet. "I'm quite well. How are you?"

"You haven't paid us a visit in a long time."

Penelope sensed the scorn vibrating off of Eloise in waves, but she ignored her former friend. Even though her soul ached at the loss of their friendship, a part of her had already grown resigned to their new reality. "I'm afraid country life has kept me busy all these months."

"Well, you're back now. I hope to see you at the house more often."

There was no mention of the falling out with Eloise, nor did Penelope expect there to be. Especially with Eloise pretending she no longer existed. Her eyes roamed over to her friend, only to be ignored. Inevitably her gaze slid over to Colin, and she suddenly found herself the recipient of his intent focus. Somber blue eyes penetrating her through to her very core, making her rattled and anxious and breaking down the very calm façade she worked so hard to build.

Throughout their entire friendship he'd always been sweet and funny, filling her dull world with hope and color, but the night of her mother's ball she'd seen the kind of cruelty he was capable of. It was a side of him that she never wished to see again. And feeling his piercing gaze right into her soul, in a way he'd never looked at her before, reminded her of how much of a stranger he really was. "Forgive me, Lady Violet, but I must take my leave. Mama shall be waiting for me."

She quickly walked past the group, breathing a sigh of relief at no longer being under Colin's scrutiny. Her relief, however, lasted only a few seconds. Because almost immediately he was striding alongside her.

"Pen, we need to speak."

"I have nothing to say to you."

"Then I'll do the talking."

"And I'm not interested in listening."

"Too bad. Because I'm not going anywhere."

She cursed his long legs, because while she struggled to keep up the fast pace he seemed to glide along the path without much effort. Short of running away from him, which would surely cause a scandal amongst the crowd promenading, she had no choice but to keep walking.

"I'm sorry. Truly." His voice was soft, velvety like butter, like he'd practiced the words many, many times in preparation for the performance of a lifetime. "My words that night-"

"Do you know that I read your letters over the summer? Despite my anger, I still read them."

An unexpected rawness laced his voice. "Why?"

"Because I needed to know. Would I recognize that insincerity in your words now that I knew the truth about your disdain towards me. And do you know what I discovered?"

She finally turned to look at him, and just for a moment the world stopped. Like it always did. His eyes were bluer than the sea itself, a symphony of agony and need, beckoning her towards him. She suddenly found it difficult to breathe, her heart caught in a whirlwind of chaos.