Dark zodiac signs

Characteristics

I bet you heard all the characteristics of your zodiac, good and bad. Although have you heard of the gender characteristics?

also side note; no complaining about 'how long I took to post' you should be happy i got this out. Also whats with the new zodiac sign? i absolute hate it. its messing everything up but I am joyous that their not using it in the study, just astronomers are using it.

Aries:

female: Aries women tend to be killjoys. Yes, you are very sophisticated and appropriate but thats gets really boring at times. These women want or expects loyalty and a firm handshake. no matter how open and direct you are, the Aries women will win at the ultimate game.

Male : Aries men are very competitive and self assured (actually you're not really self assured you just want to appear that way, don't you? you also want to win and get whatever you want. That also could be translated into "you're a douche". Adding more to that comment, i would say that you expect everybody to follow you and that is probably 100% true.

Taurus:

female: The only thing i can really say about taurus women is that and i quote (myself) "you have really expensive taste". Like no one can/could buy you jewelry because you want real diamonds and pearls. Honey, i don't think people would buy you real flowers. Side note: gah, why you such introverts

male: Clever, very clever Taurus men. Im not say that because you're smart. because you use influential connections to get what you want (is it just me or dose the word 'influential' make it sound a lot worse?). However don't be fooled, people using you in the same way you use them just makes you mad. *hypocrite*

Gemini:

What the crap man! both female and male Gemini are just very (to put it gently) very good car sales men/women

cancer:

female: now you just contradicting your self. Shy but sexual. Manipulative but protects and cares. Takes offense but is nurturing to every one. please pick something before you hurt yourself or more importantly, me.

male: for a man, you very sensitive and very attached to your mother. ALSO GOD FORBID ANY ONE TALK BAD ABOUT YOUR FAVORITE CLOTHES.

Leo:

female: you like to show off and be admired. its in your DNA to be in the spot light of the show. ADMIRE ME ADMIRE ME! you also are very cunning in your own way (using curtesy to gain your way is wrong and confuses me). wlep. ADMIRE ME ADMIRE ME

male: Room for two in the show? no? I'll cut in then. I'm much better anyway. i actually (do not) have control of my self. I'm charming, popular, and elegant unlike all of you. I also expect loyalty from all of you. annnnnnd scene. how was my impersonation of a Leo male? I say i did pretty well.

Virgo:

female: Do you have a straightforward personality? can you not express your feelings easily? Do you think about yourself as more orderly and efficient? Well I'm happy to say you have won your title as an Virgo female. congrats!

male: you are basically the opposite of a cancer male. practical and unsentimental. blah

Libra:

female: you conceited rich b**ch. I'm jealous. I wish I could look at my self all day and use my attraction to get what i want. Ugh life is so not fair right now.

male: you fickle, romantic pedophile (not literally. the book said loves the opposite sex of all ages).

(both libras are gonna be short because i want them to.)

Scorpio:

female: nobody is ever actually truly cool, so get that through your brain. no you can't be dominate and nobody sets their own standards anymore. Thats so 2005. Also do you have really freedom of action? or is society pulling your strings without you noticing? i thinks its the latter.

male: sinner or saint? I HAVE TO KNOW! however to maintain that diginty of yours, you probably won't tell me. To knock you down a peg or two because I'm me, I'm going to say that your unnaturally possessive. Like scary possessive.

Sagittarius:

female: Round one; if a sagittarius females integrity is question, will she; A.get sad B.get mad C. dont care or D. happy? if you said B you are correct however don't let them hear, they'll might bit our ears off.

male: you are the kind of person i hate. you make corney jokes, you enjoy danger, you're accurately wit, has awesome memory but forget the important things and is very tactless.

Capricorn:

female: we get it, we get it. you did this awesome thing with the paper. we get it, we get it. you passed all your classes. we get it , we get it. you sold something to the buyer. WE GET IT. we know you want credit for the things you did, calm down.

male: what i don't understand at all

Aquarius:

female: you lack self confidence but want to be the peace maker? okay weird but okay. Also I do not believe that your unpredictable, I absolutely refuse to believe it.

male: reserved, closed off personality, got that. attracted to mysterious and the secrets, thats new. Please Aquarius male, tell how is this what you're attracted to. please I need it.

pieces:

female: So you make yourself appear to be helpless but your not. Although you do need to belong to someone and you actually are vague/dreamy. interesting.

male: Very romantic and is always emotionally involved. however you cannot be easily fooled. i don't think I ever wanted more to meet a pieces male then i do right now