Wolf Warrior (The Mórrigan's Wolf, Part 2) The Last Kingdom Fanfiction

15 - Better Together

The rear gate was not often used, but left unlocked during the day. Instead of heading toward her spot near the river, something had compelled Faoladhean to head toward the rear gate. She walked swiftly with her head held high, praying that she wouldn’t encounter any of her friends along the way. Her chest burned with the effort of holding back the sobs that so desperately wanted to be released. She felt like an overstuffed bag, splitting apart at the seams just to relieve the pressure. Once she passed through the gate, she broke into a jog and followed the footpath into the woods; her vision was quickly blurred by tears that began to fall.

With panic rising up from her chest, Faoladhean veered off the path and stumbled almost blindly through the trees until her foot caught in a twisted root and caused her to fall forward onto the soft, mossy ground. Rather than pick herself up and continue moving, Faoladhean rolled to her side, curled into a ball and let herself cry. Great, heaving sobs fell from her without restraint and hot tears slid over the bridge of her nose to drip onto the moss beneath her cheek. As she lay there purging the pent-up emotions, her mind was totally blank of any coherent thoughts. All that she felt in that moment was sadness, a great, all-consuming void of desolation that seemed to have broken free from the gossamer cage that had contained it deep in her soul. Faoladhean allowed herself to succumb to the intense, wracking sobs, feeling as if she was nothing more than a raw nerve that was being poked and prodded from all sides - aching, bleeding, and begging for a reprieve.

As her sobs began to slow, Faoladhean closed her eyes and tried to calm herself. The smell of the moss where she laid, earthy and damp, filled her senses, and she inhaled a slow, shaking breath to try to give herself any sort of point to anchor her awareness to. As blood continued to rush in her ears and she continued to breathe in the green scent of the moss, Faoladhean heard Finan calling for her in the distance. I do not know if I am ready to face him yet. His anger toward me only makes me feel worse, like I truly am a failure to anyone and everyone who loves me. I am not ready to have this conversation again. She sniffled and let out a shuddering exhale, then pushed herself upright and wrapped her arms around her knees. Maybe if I stay quiet, he will not find me, though I am not sure how far off the path I got before I tripped. She sighed and wiped her cheeks, trying to remove the remnants of the tears that had fallen so freely only moments earlier.

Finan followed the footpath deeper into the woods, watching for any signs that Faoladhean had gone off - footprints, trampled foliage, broken branches. He was becoming increasingly concerned about how far she had gone as he walked quickly into the woods. Deciding that calling out for her might yield better results, Finan shouted her name into the trees and stood still, waiting to see if she would answer. The only sound that answered him was the soft whispering of the breeze among the branches of the oaks that surrounded him. With a sigh, he continued on, his gaze sweeping to the sides of the path every couple of paces, until he saw a dark spot of freshly turned soil. A few feet further off the trail, Finan spotted a couple of plants that had been recently trampled, so he set off in that direction.

“Faoladhean!” he called out again and slowed to listen for a response. When none came, he started speaking loudly, allowing his thoughts to become words in the hope that she would hear and give him an indication of where she was. “Faoladhean, love…” He called out in Gaelic next. “Please come out so we can talk. So I can apologize.” He stopped to wait for a response once again.

Faoladhean could hear him drawing nearer, but couldn’t find the will to call out to him. A fresh wash of tears slid down her cheeks as she closed her eyes, then rested her forehead on her knees. I cannot do this. I am not ready to talk about it again. He doesn’t understand the vow I made, the oath I took when I became a warrior among my kin…and I don’t know if I have the strength or the words within me to make him understand. Another shuddering breath left her as she heard Finan call out to her again, closer still.