The Umbrella Academy(Season1)

Chapter 4

MANSION - KITCHEN - AFTERNOON
[Number Five enters the kitchen, heads straight for the fridge. The others follow him, still hopelessly confused.]
Luther: What are you doing?
Number five: Making a sandwich. Do you know how long it's been since I've eaten solid food? [Number Five opens the fridge door. Luther slams it shut again. Number Five glances up, annoyed.]
"You should have explained it first." Said Cora.
Number Five: You look ridiculous, by the way.
Cora: How do we know it's really you? Prove it. [Number five ignores her.]
Cora: Allison rumor him!
Allison: I don't do it anymore. [Cora looks at her annoyed.]
Cora: So you would rather not know if some shafe shifter is trying to pretend he is our brother?
Luther: They don't exist.
Cora: Neither does mind controlers (Looks at Allison) Water controlers (points at herself) and people who can talk to dead (Points at Klaus)
Five nodded.
Diego: She has got a point.
Number Five: You aren't rumoring me!
Cora: We have to. [Allison seems to hesistate.]
Number Five: (To Cora) Fine. After Ben's first kill, you sneaked into his room and dragged me along. We stayed there whole night. You read him his favourite book and told him it was okay to cry. He said dad said we shouldn't cry and you told him that father is incapable of human emotions, he was a child and he could cry if he wanted. After that it became our tradition to stay in each other's room after every mission and read books together.
Five and Cora look at each other with smiles.
[Siblings look at them surprised. They didn't know about it. Cora runs to Five and hugs him, but Five angrily flinches away. Cora lets go off him.]
"Sorry." Said Cora.
"It's okay." Said Five.
Cora: I- i thought you were dead. It's been 22 years.
Vanya: Where have you been?
Number Five: It's been a lot longer than that. [He opens the fridge again, digs out some ingredients.]
Vanya: What happened to you? [Number Five stands on a chair so he can reach the counter. He begins slathering mayonnaise on bread.]
Number Five: What do you think happened? I decided to test the limits of my time jumping, see how far I could go. Turns out, pretty far. [Klaus elbows Diego. Diego grudgingly passes him five bucks.]
Everyone looked at them with look that said 'Really?'.
[Cora sits near Five.]
Number Five: Dad always warned me not to go too far into the future. On account of my jumps only working in one direction. This time, he was right. (takes a bite) Christ, I needed that.
[Allison sits down across from the boy, studying him.]
Allison: Then how did you get back?
[Number Five answers through a mouthful of sandwich:]
Number Five: By projecting my consciousness backwards into a suspended quantum state version of myself that exists in every possible instance of time.
Cora: That makes sense.
Diego: That makes no sense.
[Diego and Cora look at each other.]
Number Five: (to Diego) It would if you were smarter. [Five takes another bite.]
Five: Granted, it did take me a little time to work out all the nuts and bolts of it...
"You didn't work out all of them or you wouldn't be in kid's body." Said Cora.
Cora&Allison: How much time?
Number Five: Ahh... 52 years. Give or take.
Diego: You're sixty-two?
Number Five: No, my consciousness is 62. My body's still ten. But, the point is, Dad said it couldn't be done and I did it. So. (looks around) Where is the old bastard, anyway? I want to rub it in his face.
"He would give you a lecture about time travel and point out that you might have managed it, but you were in future for half century and now you are back to being child." Said Cora. Five nodded.
"That's something he would do" agreed Five.
Cora: He finally kicked the bucket. [Diego and Klaus chuckle. Luther and Allison give them disapproving glares.]
Luther: He died three days ago. [Five stares at them, chewing, his face impassive.]
Number Five: Natural causes?
Diego: Yes.
Luther: We don't know.
"Who cares? He died and now his tyranny is over for once and for all." Said Cora.
"Cheers to that." Said Klaus.
"He was our father." Said Luther.
"He was the man who took us in for his own gain and turned us into weapons!" Said Cora. Luther is about to answer, but Five interrupts irritated.
"Can we go back to watching future?! You can talk about your daddy issuies later!" Said Five. Klaus laughed.
"Hey! You have those, too." Said Cora. Five looks unamused.
Number Five: Well. That complicates things.
Cora: Why?
Luther: What kind of things?
Number Five: All kinds of things. What's today's date? The exact date?
Allison: The, uh, 14th. I think.
Number Five: Of what?
Cora: July. [Five frowns, dismayed. Slides off his stool.]
Number Five: Hmm. Doesn't leave us much time. [Gnawing on his sandwich, Five strolls out of the room.]
"For what?" Asked Cora. Five didn't answer.
Cora: Time for what?
Luther: We're not done here! (no answer) Number Five! [Number Five climbs the stairs, disappears. Cora and Luther glances around the room helplessly. The others look just as confused. Except for Klaus. He points to the sandwich ingredients.]
Klaus: Is there more pastrami?
MANSION - NUMBER FIVE'S ROOM - SHORT TIME LATER
[Vanya and Cora go looking for Number Five, finds him standing in his old bedroom, staring at his old toys and books, forlorn.]
Number Five: He kept all my things.
[Vanya kneels behind him.]
Cora: Vanya! Don't! [Vanya wraps her arms around Five. He pulls away at once, flinching angrily.]
"That's why you should have listened!" Said Cora, annoyed at Vanya.
Number Five: What are you doing?
Vanya: It's called a hug.
Number Five: Hug. Right. (considers this) I may have reacted... poorly downstairs. Side effect of 52 years without any physical contact. [Cora looks into her brother's eyes and looks saddened.]
Cora: (sadly) What happened to you, Five?
Ofscreen Cora is same.
Vanya: What do you mean? [Five gazes at them for a long beat. Struggling with some internal decision. But instead of answering, he turns away.]
Number Five: I read your book, you know. Found it in a public library. [Cora frowns at the mention of book and glares at Vanya.]
Number Five: That's how I knew how bad things had gotten. How Number Six died.
"At least, one good think came out of that book." Said Cora.
Vanya: (gently correcting) Ben.
[Sadness and guilt swims in Cora's eyes.]
Cora: (to Five) I'm sorry. He missed you, you know? We all did.
Number Five: (angrily) This is the wrong time. I came too late. Dolores always said my equation was off. Must have forgot to carry the second two...
"Who is Dolores?" Asked siblings.
"Someone." Answered Five.
Cora&Vanya: Who's Delores?
Number Five: (ignoring the question) There's another option. Someone, or something, pulled me out of the timestream early. Brought me here to this exact moment.
"Why?" Asked everyone. Five, of course being little shit he is, didn't answer.
Cora/Vanya: But why? [Five doesn't answer. He stares out the window, haunted.]
Number Five: They know I'm here.
They look confused.
Cora: (confused) Who?
MANSION - HARGREEVES' OFFICE - AFTERNOON
[Allison enters her father's old office. Luther is studying the autopsy report that Diego stole from the coroner.
We glimpse evidence photos of Reginald Hargreeves lying dead in his bed, hands clasped peacefully across his chest.]
Allison: It's time. If you wanted to, you know. Get changed.
Luther: You do realize I can't just buy suits off the rack, right? (noticing)
Are you mad at me?
Allison: Am I mad? Do you even know how messed up that was back there? You can't just drop a bomb like, hey, I think one of you might have killed Dad, and just leave it like that.
"She is right!" Said Allison.
Luther: I didn't--
Allison: That's exactly what you did.
Luther: (ticking on his fingers) I'm just saying, look how we turned out. Vanya, insecure wreck. Diego, 'roid rage poster boy. Cora, codependent to Klaus and Diego, Klaus, barely keeping it together--
"Hey! I'm not codependent! I'm just good sister and are you seriously one talking about codependency, Daddy's boy?" Said Cora. Luther glared at her.
Allison: What about Allison? "Tabloid disaster?" "World's worst mom?"
Luther: I didn't say that--
Allison: You gonna blame Dad for the way I turned out? Or what about Number Five? He just showed up, maybe you wanna go accuse him of murder!
Luther: Yeah, and he just happens to show up today? That doesn't seem like a hell of a coincidence to you?
"Really, Luther? Really?" Said Cora. Diego glared at Luther.
[She shakes her head, disgusted.]
Allison: Dad's not the victim here, Luther. We were. We all got screwed over. That doesn't mean we have a motive. (leans in closer) Why are you doing this? What, like all of the sudden we're going to break out the spandex again? Maybe go beat the shit out of Dr. Terminal?
Luther: You think that's what this is about? The Academy? [Luther angrily brushes past her.]
MANSION - CORRIDOR - CONTINUOUS
[Allison follows Luther out of the office.]
Allison: Then what? Why do you even care? [Luther spins around. Crunch. Puts his fist through the nearest wall, hard enough to leave a basketball-sized hole.]
Luther: (in a rage) Because he sent me up there! He said, Watch for threats, Number One. He said, No one else can do this but you. And I trusted him! Four years, by myself, staring at a bunch of goddamn rocks. And every single morning I had to tell myself, 'Don't worry, Dad must have had his reasons. One day this will all make sense.' And it was for nothing.
Siblings look at Luther with pity, except Five. He looks at Luther with understanding.
[Allison gazes up at him sadly. Reaches out to touch his arm. Luther irritably slaps her hand away.]
Luther: You wanna talk motive, how's that for getting "screwed over"?
[He turns and storm away. Allison stares after him, unhappy.]
MANSION - GRAND BALLROOM - SAME TIME
[Meanwhile, Diego saunters down a different corridor. He pauses outside the grand ballroom. His jaw drops.
The ballroom is filled with floating clothes. Men's suits and women's dresses, all performing a slow, elaborate ballroom waltz. Klaus stands in the center, spinning and pirouetting, conducting this madness.]
Cora laughs at Klaus's antics. Siblings look amused.
Diego: Klaus. [Klaus whips around, startled. All the clothes collapse to the floor at once.]
Klaus: Certainly not dancing with Mother's old clothes! (uncertain beat) You did ask what I'm doing...?
Cora laughs again.
Diego: No.
Klaus: Well, then. I wasn't doing anything. At all. (awkwardly) And you, what about you, brother, what's been keeping you busy these days? Fun in the sun? Maybe some light beach volleyball?
Diego: My job.
Klaus: Ah, yes. Beating criminals senseless. Breaking bones and cracking skulls.
Diego: Saving lives. What have you been doing? [Klaus just grins. Behind him, the clothes levitate back into the air, forming the word drugs in giant letters. Diego shakes his head, keeps walking.]
Cora, Vanya and Allison gave him disapproving look.
"Hey! You are doing drugs, too!" Said Klaus to Cora. Everyone looked at Cora surprised.
"I do it once in a thousand years and i certainly have never taken as much drug in my whole life as you take in two days." Defended Cora.
"Details. details." Said Klaus.
Diego: Idiot.
UMBRELLA ACADEMY - SUNDOWN
[One by one, the siblings emerge from the mansion. Singlefile, they start across the field.]
UMBRELLA ACADEMY - GROUNDS - MOMENTS LATER
[The funeral takes place beneath a towering elm tree. All eight surviving Umbrella siblings are in attendance.
Luther is carrying the urn containing Hargreeves' ashes. The others form a loose semi-circle around him.
Nearby, a trio of ancient automatons play an especially shitty rendition of Amazing Grace on their trumpets.
Pogo is the last to arrive, supporting himself on his cane.]
Pogo: Whenever you're ready, dear boy.
[Luther inverts the urn. The ashes slide out in a clump, landing in a pile at his feet. Cora puts her hand on her mouth to stop herself from laughing.]
Luther looks at her disapprovingly.
Klaus: Probably would have been better with some wind. [Pogo glares at Klaus. Then clears his throat.]
Pogo: Does anyone wish to speak?
[We pan around the circle. Luther. Diego. Allison. Number Five. Cora. Klaus. Vanya. No one speaks.]
Pogo: Very well. In all regards, Reginald Hargreeves made me the creature I am today. For that alone, I shall forever be in his debt. He was my friend, and my master, and I shall miss him very much. He was a...a complicated man--
Diego: (quietly) He was a monster. He was bad as a person and worse as a father, and the world's better off without him. [Cora nodded at his words.]
"All true." Said Cora. Allison, Vany and Luther sent Diego and Cora glares.
Allison: Kraken, you ass.
Diego: My name is not Kraken! Don't you get that? We're more than the names he gave us! (points to the mansion) This entire place is a lie. That's his legacy.
Luther: We're his legacy.
Diego: Well, I hope he's proud. (pointing to Klaus, Allison, Vanya)
Drug addict. Fame whore. Traitor. (To Number Five) Whatever the hell you are. (To Cora) Only tolerable one (To Luther) And the mighty Spaceboy. [Cora grins and whispers to Klaus.]
Cora: Did you hear that? I'm tolerable one! I'm so his favourite. [Klaus snickers.]
Cora grinned at Diego, who pretended to be annoyed, but was clearly amused.
"I take it back. You are the most annoying one." Said Diego.
"No take backs!" Said Cora.
Luther: At least I didn't turn tail and run.
Diego: No, you sat on the moon like a good little doggie. He had to send you 240,000 miles away. That's how much he couldn't stand the sight of you.
"It was too far." Said Cora to Diego.
Cora: (disapprovingly) Diego!
[Luther loses his temper, lunges for Diego, but Diego is faster. Ducking Luther's giant fists.]
Vanya: STOP IT!
Klaus: (halfhearted, kind of enjoying this) Yeah, no, stop it...
"Klaus is such a mood." Said Cora.
[Now Diego turns the tables on Luther. Luther may have the size, but Diego certainly has the speed. He strikes Luther several times in quick succession-- Luther grabs Diego's jacket, hurls him through the air-Diego flips around in mid-air, springs off the wall--
Kicking Luther in the face--]
Pogo: Boys! Stop this at once!
[Luther bull-rushes Diego, slamming him into the elm tree-- Number Five rolls his eyes, starts walking back toward the mansion.]
"Why would you go? Now starts the best part." Said Klaus. Five rolls his eyes.
[Klaus and Cora settle to watch. Meanwhile, Luther hauls back, delivers a haymaker-- Diego ducks away. The punch cleaves the tree in half--]
Allison: Aaaaand there goes Dad's favorite tree.
Klaus: (exhaling smoke) Best funeral ever.
Cora: Diego was right about dad, but he went too far with moon comment... Who do you think will win?
Klaus: Look at those monstrous arms. Five bucks it's Luther.
Cora: Luther has stregth, but Diego is faster and more flexible. Deal.
"She knows how to pick winner." Smirked Diego.
"Neither of us won." Said Luther.
"Yeah, but i woulf if we weren't interrupted." Said Diego.
"No, you wo--" said Luther, but Cora interrupted.
"Measure your dicks later!" Rolled her eyes Cora.
[Klaus and Cora shake their hands. Allison gives them disapproving look. As the tree crashes down, Diego and Luther continue to fight. But it's becoming apparent, they're too evenly matched; neither brother can gain the upper hand. Diego pulls something from his belt: a curved fighting knife. As Luther swings again, he whips the knife through the air-- The blade tears open the sleeve of Luther's overcoat. But we don't see bare skin underneath. We see coarse animal fur. The fight goes out of Luther at once. He stumbles backwards, clapping a hand over the fur, hiding it from sight.]
Diego: There's your legacy right there. Thanks, Dad. [Luther looks around wildly. Meets Allison's gaze for a heartbeat.]
"Diego!" Scolded Cora.
"You--" said Diego
"Agreed that dad is asshole, but not to talking to our brother like that!" Said Cora.
[Then turns and lumbers back toward the mansion. Vanya gets in Diego's face, shoves his chest.]
Vanya: You're an asshole.
Diego: And you're trespassing. Why did you even come back, Vanya?
Allison: Diego, shut up.
Diego: No, no, let me guess: writing a sequel! I hope you got enough material.
[Vanya's eyes fill with tears. Cora smirks at that.]
"Oh, so now you approve!" Said Diego.
"Luther did nothing, but Vanya betrayed us and our privacy and put our strength and weakness out for everyone, including enemies, to see without our permisson. She deserved it!" Said Cora. Vanya looks down with tears in her eyes.
"Coraline!" Said Allison.
"What? Did you like it? The way she described you or how she exposed your life to everyone. Did you like what jurnalistes made you go through because of that book?" Asked Cora. Allison couldn't answer to that, which made Vanya sadder.
"I'm sorry." Said Vanya.
"No, you are sorry we are angry at you, but you aren't sorry for invading our privacy!" Said Cora.
"That's enough! If not that book, i wouldn't know what happened." Said Five.
"She didn't know that would happen. She was just jaelous of us and wrote it to take out her grudge against us!" Said Cora.
"That's not true." Cried Vanya. Cora glared at Vanya coldly.
"Stop it!" Said Five.
"Fine." Said Cora and turns back to screen.
[Vanya storms away, heading not for the mansion, but for the gate at the bottom of the hill.]
Pogo: Oh, dear. [Allison heads after Luther. After a moment, Diego wanders away, Cora follows, leaving Klaus alone. Klaus kneels, pokes a finger into the pile of Reginald's ashes on the ground.]
Klaus: Bet you're just loving this.
[Birds cry overhead.]
FOREST - SAME TIME
[Deep in the forest, figures are moving. We catch flashes of orange-and-black body armor. Leather boots tromping through mud. Sunlight glinting off futuristic weaponary. Slowly, the figures emerge from the underbrush. Each is wearing a gas mask helmet with reflective orange goggles. These are the temps aeternals. The lead temp surveys the Academy grounds. His flunkies consult their high-tech scanning equipment.]
Temp#1: Target's definitely inside.
"They found me." Said Five.
"Who?" Asked Diego.
"You will see." Said Five.
Temp#2: No sign of defensive measures. [The Lead Temp motions to an agent we'll call dead meat temp. Dead Meat starts forward, moving cautiously. He climbs through a gap in the crumbling stone wall-- The second he steps foot onto Umbrella property, a massive booby-trap explodes from the soil! It looks like a laser-grid flyswatter. The Flyswatter slams down on the luckless Temp, bisecting him into hundreds of tiny cubes. The other Temps stare. No one seems particularly heartbroken.]
Lead Temp: (deadpan) All right, well. Let's not do that again. All units, fall back.
Temp#2: What about the target?
Lead Temp: We can wait. We've got all the time in the world. [One by one, they melt backwards into the forest.]