Forever

Voiceless Words

     Sometimes, if she closed her eyes and pulled the blankets up around her face, she could pretend she was young again. Young and naive, before the dangers and hardships of this world burdered her frail shoulders. When that stupid little mind still believed she was safe. She was a quiet girl, doing everything she could to try to make the man who called himself her father happy. That maybe, if she just tried a little harder, he would smile at her. Make her feel the love her innocent heart craved. 

     She longed for her days of innocent bliss. Before the real abuse, before the shadows of her world came to light. She didn't want this curse fate had bestowed upon her. Didn't want this nightmare that was her waking dream. She felt like a marionette, someone else pulling the strings to her movements while she helplessly acted out the part. One wrong move and they would take scissors to the strings giving her life, rendering her a useless pile of limbs.

     What had begun to scare her wasn't the idea of falling lifeless. It was the fact she had begun to crave it. An end to this madness. That once she had fulfilled her promise of killing the demon king there would be nothing left for her. No meaning to her painful existence. All that fueled her now was rage, and revenge. As much as she wanted to trust the safety she felt with the blue eyed boy, she couldn't allow herself the luxury of trust anymore. 

     It would be so much easier to tell herself, if he wasn't everywhere she looked. The bed she slept in, the room she constantly paced. That tug that so desperately pulled on her drumming heart. After her encounter with the old seer, he had been etched deep into parts of her soul she had no control over. The way his voice had slowly worked its way into her dreams, lulling her away from the nightmares that tried to surface. 

     It made no sense to her, why this creature she barely knew, was slowly taking over her thoughts.

     It was all she could think about, laying alone in this dark room he had given to her. Though she had specifically requested the bed sheets be changed, there was still a distinct hint of the foresty smell that hovered around him. She couldn't sleep, not with her mind running wild. But she almost wished for the nightmares about her upcoming task. Anything to distract her from this boy that was haunting her thoughts.

     She sighed in exasperation and threw back the covers, letting the cool air brush her burning skin. After her time spent here her eyes had grown more accustomed to the dim lighting she was constantly greeted with. Her other senses heightened if she let them, the pounding of her own heart screaming in her ears. She hated it. Hated the way it made her feel more and more like one of them, and less and less of the human she wished she could pretend to be. She knew it was changing her, whatever door the seer had opened was flooding in the secrets hidden in her soul. There was no chain that would bind her back now. 

     But was it enough? She frowned as the dark thoughts began to take over, her impossible task she had promised looming large. She had no idea what she was capable of. No idea what other sort of power flowed through her veins. Maybe they were wrong about her. Maybe all she was useful for were these visions that plagued her. Though she indeed felt different, nothing else had really changed. No idea what it was that the demon side of her was supposed to do. 

     That vision, that tortured vision that haunted her. There had to be some truth to it. It was the most realistic thing she had put onto paper. It sent a fear to the very depths of her core, a shiver she couldn't shake. They claimed it was her father, and no matter how hard she tried to force another vision, she had no way to know the truth. Only the sickening revolution that monster had put her in his own twisted prison for the last eighteen years. Hid her away while he slaughtered her mother like an animal. Maybe it was this new power fueling her, but as much as her heart screamed at the wrongness of it, she had never felt a greater need for revenge. The thought itself made her nauseous the longer she let her mind dwell on it, but the seed was planted. She knew she would kill the demon, or die trying.