I Just Pray For Your Fall ||| Cregan Stark

five

Feeling heartbreak over a relationship that never was made Amara feel silly. Because days, even weeks after the encounter at the masquerade, when the castle was largely empty of its visitors, she felt that dull ache in her chest. Speaking to someone so interesting, someone who wasn't afraid to bite back, but also someone honourable, was something Amara had never experienced before. Not from a boy of her same station.

She yearned to know more about him. More specially, she yearned for him to know more about her. For someone as carefully guarded as Amara was, keeping her most inner secrets concealed and letting outsiders only know what she wanted them to, Amara wanted to lay herself open before the Lord of Winterfell. Let him see it all and take his pick. Such a short time spent together and yet her heart and mind had never been touched in that way before.

Sometimes when she was lying in bed, unable to sleep, she felt her lips tingle, remembering the sensation of kissing him. The smell of wine on his tongue, the scratchiness of his beard against her. It was a memory that constantly plagued her.

And she told no one.

Not Eira, who asked how things had gone at the masquerade. If Lord Cregan found her and what came of it. "Perhaps my costume was too perfect for the evening. I saw Lord Cregan but I don't believe he was able to find me in the crowd." Amara was honest most of the time. But being honest made for easily believed liars.

Amara didn't tell her mother, who asked why she hadn't been able to find Amara later in the evening. "I wasn't feeling the best after my first round of dancing, so I decided to return to my rooms to rest."

Cerys had clicked her tongue and taken her daughter by the shoulders, checking her temperature with the back of her hand. "Are you quite alright? I know how much work you put into that dress to not be able to enjoy the whole evening. It's disappointing."

"It is," Amara agreed. They were talking about different things.

The hardest person to keep the secret from was her father. He'd gone to Amara and was disappointed with her lack of presence at the masquerade. People remembered the night sky who sang them a song but that same pretty girl couldn't be found elsewhere at the party. She'd danced with a few people, sure, but after Cregan, she disappeared for the rest of the evening.

Carwyn was more concerned about her lack of presence than the reason for it. Her lack of mingling could come back and reflect badly on their House, especially for those who had known who she was the moment she stepped on the stage.

"I apologize, father." There was much less passion behind her apology to Carwyn. Amara could not muster it before him, not so soon after it happened. "As I told Mother, I wasn't feeling well at all in the evening. I decided it was best to return to my rooms to let the festivities continue uninterrupted."

He did grumble but Carwyn accepted the excuse. Having her perform was enough as it was and at that current moment, he was awaiting answers from the houses he had sent correspondence to. Considering the tourney and masquerade hadn't yielded any successful or promising matches, her short tour was being arranged quickly. Carwyn wanted his daughter married.

Said daughter didn't quite share the same sentiment. Amara knew, deep down, it was silly. But coming off of the high of meeting the Lord of Winterfell and intentionally cutting a meaningful connection short, her life seemed dull in comparison. She was sad. And it was such a stark difference in mood and action from before the masquerade, people began to ask if there was something wrong with her.