February 22.2021 I took my last breath .
3 Years ago I stopped breathing at the same time my mom did. Over time I became a person I didn't recognize. I've developed anxiety. I started welcoming toxic things & people into my life due to the fact that I was hurting . I wish I knew in advance healing would bring out the worst in me. I lost myself for two complete years. I recognized those behaviors and took a step back from who I was becoming & focused on what I wanted to become I've changed my career twice. I've sat back & let the days past me by because being in the thick of things everything felt so loud.
My daily prayed is always GOD I don't know where I'm going or who's coming with me but im trusting your guidance. Pain isn't pretty pain brings out the worst in people. Pain taught me that as much as I wanna feel so alone I'm not man may not be able to understand BUT GOD will carry me through. I fought so hard!! TO be where I am today! I fought because I wasn't raised to be no wimp lol. It truly wasn't easy I can say today I Am still hurt , I still have some healing to do but I can finally breath , I can finally love & give love . That is because Ive learned even though death is permanent. So are the lessons and the experiences. I started to feel like I was letting my mom down by being so broken , don't get me wrong I will never be completely okay but I'm learning to LOVE me more & with that means trusting GOD and who I'm to become through these challenges our life was planned way before we got here , we are just learning who we are GOD already knows so I'm Leaning into him more.. traveling more buying , myself nice things educating myself, surrounding myself with positive things & people , trying new things , therapy, pouring into me
& learning more about how the mind works . All I'm trying to say is MOM I LOVE YOU! 3 YEARS without you here physically just feels so surreal . 💔 but thank you for being here spiritually continue to rest 🫶😢
* side note GOD please I'm ready to start my family lol " buttttt " he who finds a wife finds a good thing". Lol
Sorry for the typos this is my journal turned book lol no judgement zone ☀️
DU LIEST GERADE
DIARY TWENTY FOUR 💗
AbenteuerIt all started December of 2020 What started off as a blooming 60's for my mom turned into a nightmare for me . 34 days after my 24th Birthday I lost my mom due to COVID -19 February 22nd of 2021 I went through many emotions all while starting my...
