All the things I will never say..

5

My love,
              You want the truth? The truth is that I like you a lot. More than I'll ever be able to tell you I'll write all these poems about you and I'll find little pictures videos or things that remind me of you.. but you'll never know. You don't need to know how stupidly in love with you I am.  I told you shit ive never told anyone about and yet we almost never talk in school we barely ever text we're not close friends..but I still trust you with stuff I would never even bother to tell anyone about. To other people I'm the happy friend but you? You know my real story and I can explain how glad I am that you continue being my "friend" even after hearing about the real me. I'm sorry that you had to meet the depressed me and not the actual happy me. Maybe in another universe we could be actual friends not just two kids who talk to each other every now and then and most times it's about some stupid drama that's going around school. Is that all our friendship is about? Drama and telling each other their traumas and problems.. because it may not seem like that to you but it does to me all we ever talk about is the drama going around, Leen about my mental health my family problems or you problems with your friends..it sucks I want to be able to talk to you like Normal to see you and not feel butterflies but instead walk up to you for no reason say hi and continue a normal conversation like I normally would with my other friends..but for some stupid fucking reason I can't, sure you can talk to me like normal but that's because you don't and never will know how much I love you. I will love you forever even in the future when we're both married a part of me will always think about how in love with you I was..in the future well both probably stop talking at some point and you'd forget about me slowly but me? I'd have these notes for the rest of my life remember every tiny detail about you and always love you for the rest of my life.. and another thing is that I know you do these little things that friends would do like holding my hand putting your hand around my waist putting flowers in my hair and looking at me with those gorgeous eyes of yours to you these are just tiny little gestures you'd do with all your friends I mean I would too but with you it's completely different the way your hands feel..your smile your cheeks your eyes and your hair even the way you walk is fucking mesmerizing and I know you'll think I'm just saying all this because I have a crush on you..the parts about me being crazy in love yes it is bc I have a crush on you but the parts where your gorgeous kind loving loyal smart and just amazing in general? Yea that's the complete truth I know you won't agree with me but in my eyes every inch of you from head to toe is fucking perfect.