All the things I will never say..

9

I'm sorry,
Do you ever wonder what life would be like in the future? Will we still be friends or would we be strangers who once meant everything to eachother? I love you. I can't say it to your face but I love you more than anyone I've loved in my whole entire life. But it hurts having to act like your friend when I know I'm so deeply in love with you that I'd do anything for you. It's so painful seeing you close with you other friends, it shouldn't hurt but it does and when it does it hurts so much to the point sometimes I can't fucking breath. I know this seems a bit dramatic but I really love you. I can't put into words how much I love you, but sometime in the future we're going to drift apart and stop being friends aren't we? Most times, I've learned that "forever" is a word meant for memories and not people. I will love you as long as the sun burns in the sky, as long as the moons shines into the dark night, until the raging blue oceans become calm and run dry, I will love you until the end of time. Some days I'm afraid to write something about you because I know the honesty will hurt. I hate that I feel like this especially to someone like you whom I'll never have. I hate myself for meeting you sometimes but at the same time there's no one in this whole planet that I adore and am grateful for as much as you. I don't understand my feelings anymore, I want to be around you all the time yet I don't know hot to act around you, I want to be close with you but at the same time I know I will push you away because in the end somehow I will end up hurting you or someone important to you in your life, and I'm sorry if I ever have.