Leave Before You Love Me

LET ME LOVE YOU

It was a blur as pain filled her heart. No one is more unlucky than her in love and she can prove it. There she stood in front of the woman she had fallen in love with. Just when she thought she could get one hell of a shot about this, maybe this one would finally make her feel she isn't wasting anymore of her time because Anntonia knows this person loves her back.

Michelle does, Ann knows that much is true. But the timing fucks it up, how long can she stay mad at the world for messing her up like this? There lies the woman that she, for once, she wanted to be with. Only for her to find out that at any moment Michelle could slip away from her and this time it's for good.

It would've been probably easier if she's dealing with another person who wants to be in Michelle's life, a love triangle should have been easier to deal with, or a confession of everything that she feels and all the bad things that she had done. But not this one, her enemy is not a person but a situation and time.

Before she ever sought the bartender, Anntonia had already thought of different scenarios of how things would play out and for all of it, she had thought of a solution that can win Michelle over so they can be together, finally. Out of all the things she had imagined, a heart disease and a heart attack are not one of them.

Seeing her lying in a hospital bed, looking so pale and sickly, those eyes that stared intensely at her with want and love, where she needed not to utter any words had become empty and void of emotions, like she's already accepted what's going to happen next.

Oh, how she wishes that this building would just collapse and let it crumble into dust with her in it. Because of this, she couldn't bear the excruciating pain she's feeling as she staggered outside Michelle's room. And God, how many times does one have to walk away before you realise you've done enough?

The hurting woman wanted to lash out, scream at the top of her lungs hoping that maybe it would help to at least ease the heartache she's currently feeling, even if she knows it would not subside, but she wanted- needed something to take it all away for just a few moments as it has been too much, like someone is pulling at her heart out and she couldn't do anything about it.

The doctor can feel that some people in the hospital must have been looking at her weirdly, or maybe some of them can recognise her but that didn't bother her. All she wants is to not feel the way she's feeling, all she wants is to breathe properly because it feels like all the air has dissipated in her lungs and it's suffocating her, and tears couldn't stop from falling no matter how many times she tried to wipe them.

She has to leave, run as fast as she can, then maybe, just maybe, by the time she comes out of this place, it will lessen the pain. She chuckled and shook her, that would be an impossibility and foolish, because who is she kidding? This will haunt her for the rest of her life.

The doctor walked slowly through the hospital corridors, trying her best not to bump into the busy people walking around. She needed a place to ponder things through, a quiet place where she can process what she just found out, not clear her mind off Michelle because as of this moment, it was all her that's running through her mind no matter how angry and betrayed she was.

"Hi." A quiet voice spoke behind her while she stood in front of a full glass window still inside the hospital.

She turned around, not thinking how messy she looked, tear tracks still visible on her cheeks. It was Michelle's sister, with brown eyes, lighter than Michelle was looking sympathetically at her.

"Hello." she croaked, it's all she could say because any more than that, she's not sure what's going to happen to her next.

"I'm sorry if I followed you here, I know you must be needing a few moments to let it all sink in." There's a small smile on her lips, a comforting one that says she understood what she's feeling right now, hell, she could be feeling way worse than her because she is Michelle's family.