Union Academy. A school for aspiring heroes, ready to save the world at the drop of a hat. At least that's what the brochure said. Y/N L/N believed it, and it came back to bite him. Y/N has now quirk or sacred gear or semblance or a power of any kin...
Akeno's tiny, shriveled mind went blank as Big Head screamed into her ear. "Aaaaahhh!" Koneko screamed as the ear piercing wail reverberated through the WcDonalds. "You leave my harem alone." Issei shouted as he launched himself at Y/N. Big Head picked up Akeno before using her to bat Issei into the kitchen. Issei slammed into a brick wall before dropping ass first into a deep fryer. The rest of the ORC attempted to approach, only for Y/N to crack Akeno in half, making a sound similar to a glowstick before pulling her apart. Akeno screamed as her pelvis and torso separated, her distended spinal cord being the only thing holding her together. The ORC watched in terror and disgust as Y/N whipped the bisected girl around like a pair of nunchucks. Kiba attempted to attack only for Y/N to catch his sword with Asia's spine, before yanking the sword out of his hand and catching it with his teeth. "Back, back I say." Y/N said as he backed up towards the counter, whipping the still screaming Akeno at the club.
Gasper attempted to tackle Y/N only for the masked man to wrap Akeno around the transvestite and kick him away. Y/N then pulled Kiba's sword out of his mouth before bonking Asia over the head with it. He then pointed at Koneko who backed away. "Hey, you wanna see something cool?" Y/N asked before raising the sword to his mouth. The ORC minus Akeno all watched as Big Head swallowed the sword, and listened as he crushed the handle with his teeth. "Crunchy." He smiled, blood dripping out of his mouth. "EXTINGUISHED STAR!" Rias shouted as she launched an attack at the masked man. "Two can play at that game!" Y/N said as he pulled out a fire extinguisher before blasting Rias and the extinguished star away with it. "Rias!" One of the cannon fodder shouted as Y/N blasted them. Through the foam, Asia picked up Rias. "Speak to me!" "Asia, I'm..." Rias was cut off as Y/N slammed the fire extinguisher into her head. "Concussed." Y/N said.
"Sensei, do you think we should stop this?" Genos asked Saitama as he ate his fries. "Nah." Saitama said as he ate another fry. "DRAGON SHOT!" They heard someone shout as a bright red ball of energy blasted their table and food away. "Now. We get involved." Saitama said as looked at the brown haired bow with the red gauntlet aimed at them. Issei realised that he had missed the target completely and watched as a bald man in a yellow suit and a man with spiky blonde hair approached him. "Uhh, Ddraig?" 'ISSEI YOU FUCKWIT!' Ddraig shouted inside the boy's dirty mind as what he perceived as the greatest threat in existence approached them. "You touched our food." Saitama said as he cracked his knuckles.
Y/N was currently beating the shit out of Asia when he watched Saitama punch Issei in the face. The shockwave from the punch alone was enough to shatter all of the windows and break all of the doors in the building. Y/N stood up before looking around. The ORC had been defeated and the restaurant had been almost completely destroyed. He walked over to the counter where the cashier was hiding. He tapped the service bell. "Someone should really clean this up." He said before turning back to Saitama and Genos. "So this has been fun, but I really gotta go." Y/N said as he stepped away. "We technically can't arrest you. They attacked first." Genos said as Saitama picked the last of his fries off of the floor. "However, we do still have to take you in for a police rep-" He was cut off as Big Head ran out of the building. "-ort." "Twenty words or less, Genos."
Y/N ran down the street, his arms flailing behind him. He stopped at a dark corner before peeling off the mask again. "Okay, I gotta think of some more jokes. That was just embarrassing." He thought. Unlimited power and the best I can do is a fire extinguisher." He said as he put the mask in his backpack. He turned around only to come face to face with Saitama. "Oh shit." Y/N said as he prepared to run again. "Don't worry, I'm just here to return your wallet." He said as he handed the wallet to its owner. "Oh, uh, thanks." Y/N said as he put it back in his pocket. "Well, I'll see you around." Y/N said as he walked away from Saitama. "Oh, and as for your jokes, try some old pre Meta cartoons." Saitama said before jumping off into the sky. "Cartoons." Y/N said to himself as he walked to Shoto's house.
THE NEXT MORNING
Endevour made it home after twelve hours of helping rescue civilians and fight monsters during last night's chaos. As soon as he walked in the door, he noticed the smell of sugar in the air. As soon as he turned the corner, he saw one of his least favorite people sitting on the couch with a bottle of soda, watching violent cartoons on his TV. "Oh God damnit, not you again." He said as Y/N paused his show. "Sup daddy." "Get out of my house." "I was just leaving." Y/N said as he grabbed his backpack. Enji grabbed the remote before turning back to the TV. "You racked up a six thousand yen bill on my account." Endevour prepared to kill the boy only for him to throw several bills at the man. "Keep the change, you filthy animal." Enji didn't know how to respond as he snarled at Y/N. "Stay out of my house and stay away from my family." "I don't know about that. Your kids seem to like me more than you." "You're quirkless, annoying, and a bad influence. You convinced Shoto to steal my credit card," "You weren't using it." "you convinced Natsuo to get that ridiculous haircut," "It's All Might, who doesn't like All Might?" Enji gramaced. "And you, uh, um..." "Slept with Fuyumi?" "Yeah, wait..." Endevour paused as he processed the information he just heard. "I'm kidding, you know that, right?" Y/N quickly grabbed his things before leaving.
Outside, he ran into Shoto. "Oh, hi Y/N." "Hi, I think I broke your dad." "Permanently?" "I don't think so. Remember that "Favor" I did for your sister?" "Yeah?" Suddenly the roof of the house was blown off in a giant ball of fire. "Your dad found out. On a related note, wanna check out my new apartment." "Maybe later, I want to watch my father's meltdown." "Good luck." Y/N said before running off.
TIMESKIP
Y/N inserted the key into the door, taking in the cold air of the room.
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"Home sweet home, I guess." He said as he hung his backpack on the nearby coat hook.
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