"Why?"

Feeling.

[Izuku's POV]

-I'll never be better than anyone.-

I'm losing my interests lately, I don't know who am I or what I'm doing lately. I didn't know mom's death would affect me that much, I thought I could get over it, but somebody you loved that died can't go out of your own mind. I would always break down into tears whenever I saw the picture frame of her, I felt like as if I was the worse son in this world.

Whenever I saw the picture of her, the thought 'I can't even do one simple thing; which was to save her.' was always stuck to my mind,  I always overthink. There was absolutely nobody I could talk to, or vent to. But I would never talk about my feelings to other people as I know they'll never take me serious and I have trust issues.

It's raining, and it's quite peaceful, to be honest. But I felt tired, not sleepy, but tired of life. I love rainy seasons, it's relaxing... and I could feel calming. I would forget all about my bad thoughts whenever I hear the rain sounds, the raindrop dropping on the ground, the wind blowing through my hair.

Another day of school, how tiring is that? Sometimes I wished school never existed, it's boring, tiring and just...exhausting. Everyday is the same, go to school, get beaten up by Bakugo then eat, sleep. I don't even know what I'm doing in life anymore, it's always the same routine. It's worser when mom isn't here anymore.

Now Bakugo knew my mother was dead, and so was his family. They all know as they were informed, but nobody said anything, that was good. I was quite relieved by it, at least Bakugo won't bully me for that... as I doubt that he won't bully me for that. The world absolutely turned upside down when mom was gone.

"Hey, Deku, You sad good-for-nothing!" Bakugo pushed me to the wall, making me fall down on the ground, he was also staring daggers at me. I didn't speak at all, what was he trying to do? He stared at me, I looked at him too. I had no words to say, or anything. My mind was completely blank.

"Oi! Are you even listening?" He squatted down to where my height was, looking deep into my eyes. "Are you that depressed that your mother died? Pftt, pathetic." He laughed out loud. I looked at him blankly, my eyebrow raised.

'Losing my own mother and being depressed about it is now pathetic? What a nice word to use when somebody's mother is dead.' I thought to myself. "I bet you miss your mother so much that you cry to bed everyday."

He smirked, I thought to myself. 'I do in fact miss my mother...' I looked down at the floor, saying nothing at all and being silent. "Defeated? Boring." He spat before going to the classroom.

I sighed quietly as I also got up, tidied myself and went to class. I had to stand outside the classroom as I was late, always. 'I don't know if I'm supposed to blame Bakugo for this.' I thought to myself, looking at the floor quietly.

"You alright? Why were you late today?" Eraserhead came up to me, wait... why is he here again? Suddenly I remembered, he was supposed to stay here for one month. Now I remember, I swear my mind always forgets something then remembers it back...

"I'm alright... thanks for asking, I'm late because I slept over." I lied, i woke up early. Yet I was late because of Bakugo blocking my way and decided to 'congratulate' me for my mother's funeral. I don't understand how funny was that to him, how hilarious was that to him. If he was in my shoes, I bet he can't even handle his feelings.

"Next time, don't be late again." He said in a soft tone, isn't Pro Hero Eraserhead always dull and emotionless? Well, that changed I guess. I gave him a fake smile, assuring him that I had absolutely nothing wrong with me today. He nodded silently as he went back into the classroom as I stood there quietly.

Lunch. Another bullying from Bakugo and his 'dearest' friends. Honestly, he wouldn't even get friends if he didn't get a good quirk. I may think that I'm Bakugo's number 1 hater, but it makes me feel bad that I am thinking bad of him. Everyday was boring, just go to school, eat and sleep.

All I want to do right now was go into a dreamless sleep, where I dream of nothing but darkness. "Oi, nerd! Watch where you're going!" Bakugo yelled at me when I bumped into him.

His anger issues made me furious, but I kept that burning fire in my chest hidden. "Sorry." I responded quietly as he kicked me, and pulled my hair. "What's that again?" To be honest, I felt quite raged by his words, how irritating is that?

"I'm sorry." I said coldly, I looked at him emotionlessly as he let go. "What the hell is wrong with you? Depressed freak." He let out a laugh, before continuing. "Your mother died maybe because she didn't want you, she wanted to disown you, but failed to do so."

I glared at him, what's wrong with him kept talking about my mother? "She didn't die by her choice." I respond angrily, Bakugo chuckled at my angry tone and left with his so called 'friends'. I stared at his back, as I felt down. I don't really know how to express what I'm feeling right now... but I'm just quite tired.

That kick hurt, but it's fine. I'm just a controlled puppet for him after all, getting abused by him. I thought he was mature and all, but he's just a selfish bully, who cares about no one but himself. He thinks highly about himself and doesn't care shits about anyone else, even his own parents probably.

I want to lay down on my bed... and sleep. Peacefully without any disturbance.