The winter always comes

Chapter I

"Steve! Steve!" I yell from inside my room at the end of the hall, rummaging through the various drawers of the closet. "Where's my suit tank top?"

"Which suit? Why should I know where you threw it?" He asks me, looking out of my bedroom door with a basket of clothes to wash in his hands, of course it's really funny to see him like that when you're used to always seeing him in that tight striped and star tracksuit of his. In the middle of the pile of dirty and misplaced cotton clothes, I see a shiny black fabric peeking out, yes, Steve better keep fighting crime instead of cleaning the house.

"Here it is" I say, trying to remove it from the tangle of colored items in the basket, then I wave the short leather tank top as I go to place it together with the black trousers and combat boots "Now everything is ready"

"But today you don't have any mission...Sam and Buck left" He looks at me with a questioning expression, tilting his head a little, not understanding the common thread of all this, then he seems to remember something and comes closer "You shouldn't have gone to sing to that pub tonight? Aren't you going there with this stuff? It needs washing and..."

"No no no, I don't want to wear it, it's superstition" I say taking a short, tight white dress from the bed, with very thin straps "To sing a song of that type you have to have a certain type of outfit" He smiles shaking his head, by now it's used to being part of the choice of clothes for my outings, I don't think I've ever gone out without having Steve approve the combination in the last five years.

"Okay, but be careful, there are people with perverted minds in the evening" He says to me from afar as he continues along the corridor, a laugh escapes me as I close the door

"It's people who should be afraid of me, not the other way around!" I say, laughing loudly as I take off my clothes to put on the wonderful white dress. I opt for very simple makeup, I don't like things that are too elaborate, but still it's great effect. A nude lip tint combined with a dark shaded eye make-up makes my green eyes stand out behind the lenses of my glasses, my short dark hair touches my shoulders falling smoothly on them. Bucky usually accompanies me, he acts as my psychotherapist while we go because a thousand fears and anxieties assail me, he is there, guides and listens to me and tells me what I should do, it has always been like this, then he goes home and for the time set for my musical intervention he comes back with Sam and Steve. Today is different, the routine has been broken and consequently also my superstitious ritual, I take the keys to my matt black Jeep and go down to the garage, make sure I haven't forgotten anything and start speeding through the streets of New York, to try to get to the pub where I was supposed to sing on time. I've been going to various clubs to sing since I was sixteen to pick up some change, even when I arrived in New York I continued, it's here, right at the pub I'm going to, that Tony looked for me to sign me up for my first mission as an Avenger. Nine o'clock is approaching and my anxiety rises even more when I see Steve among the tables, with a white shirt and jeans, next to him a woman, not very tall, with dark curly hair, Cap has found someone to spend time with the evening apparently! He hasn't spoken to a woman since he was frozen, who knows what he's up to... It's my time to go on stage, I never wanted to be preceded by my introduction, why should people care about my name?  Let him listen to my voice and the songs I sing, perhaps to understand what I really want to convey. I place the microphone in the center of the catwalk in the center of the venue, where I have to sing, anxiety overcomes me until the base of the song Older by Isabel Larosa comes on. I start to sing, I feel my vocal cords vibrating, my heart is racing in my chest so much that I'm afraid it will be heard from the microphone. This song...I had to sing it sooner or later...I had to sing it to him...

🎶"Think I need someone older..."🎶

I open my eyes for the final chorus and I look at the room with a smile on my face, everyone looking at me attentively

🎶"Just a little bit colder..."🎶

The people in the the place seems to have multiplied, initially only a part of the tables were occupied, now the pub is full of people, boys and girls crowded on their feet and at the tables

🎶"Takes the weight off your shoulders..."🎶

I look in front of me and not I see Steve more, but, against all expectations, I see at the back of the club Sam and Bucky, still in their mission uniform, they have managed to find the last free table because they are both sitting and in front of them they have two bottles of beer, I smile as soon as I meet their gaze, they reassure me, even just knowing of their presence reassures me...

🎶"Think I need someone older"🎶

As soon as I pronounce the last words of the song, applause starts and everyone starts chanting my name, or rather, the name of my vengeful alter ego, Red Python . I don't like being called that, I'm not the me I've always been, that's me in the missions, in public conferences, but not when I come to sing in a pub to spend the Saturday evening, here I'm Alice, only Alice... I'm coming down from smiling stage, some girls and boys come up for a selfie or an autograph, I hate it when they treat me like an object, when they ask for a photo and off they go, I like the supporter who stops to talk, who doesn't consider you an animal behind bars ... After crossing the crowd I reach the point where I had seen the two boys shortly before, but now I can no longer visualize Sam, there is only Bucky at the table, with his bottle of beer in his hand, looking at the ballroom, with empty eyes "Hey bastard! You finally came huh?" I say approaching with a Mojito in hand, sipping the drink from time to time "Thank goodness you didn't even have to pass!"

"We finished earlier than expected" he says then taking a big sip of beer, then starts playing with the thin strap of my dress  "Sam thought you would like it"

"By the way, where is he?" I ask leaning on his table

"I think he went to look for a girl to spend the evening with" He replies by placing his hand on my arm

"You should find a girl too, it's full in here"

"Yes, but no one would ever talk to me, besides I haven't danced for who knows how long time"

"If you never try how will you know? How can you know that none of the people present would agree to dance with you?"

"But even if they did, I wouldn't know what to do..."

"...Because I haven't had a relationship since '43, yes yes yes, always the same story " I say mimicking him "If you never put yourself out there it's obvious that you haven't had a girlfriend since '43!"

"Come on, enlighten me then, what should I do?"

"Go up to a girl and ask her to dance, she definitely won't say no to a soldier with a bionic arm and super handsome" I say giggling like a child

"Then I'll go, if it goes badly it's your fault!" He tells me, he swallows the last sip of beer and goes towards a group of guys in their twenties, maybe something more, there are two girls already accompanied and only one, he goes with the alone girl in the black leather dress, she is tall, long blonde hair and light blue eyes, just like hers. He seems to be talking to her and she nods smiling, Bucky takes her hand and takes her to the dance floor, a nervous smile is printed on my face. I drink the last sip of Mojito and place the empty glass on the iron table, Bucky has taken her by the hips and is guiding her through the steps to perform on the dance floor, he has always been very good at dancing, I am the uncoordinated personified for dancing, the girl then rests on his chest laughing, he puts his hand on her back, sliding it up and down her neckline. I take my red coat at the entrance and leave the pub, I would have liked to stay and talk, dance, drink and joke with Bucky, but tonight he seems to have found a better occupation... good for him. With a click I open the car and jump in, my voice trembling, I press on the accelerator with all the strength I have, I want to get home, quickly, as soon as possible, to fall asleep and think that tomorrow I have the day off and I will go to the amusement park with Bucky, like every month, like every month for five years now...I park the Jeep in the garage, next to Cap's motorcycle and run up the stairs, no one is home, no one has come back yet, who can blame them, it's only eleven. I take off the beautiful white dress that I hoped would have a different effect and I throw myself under the covers, I want to get to tomorrow as soon as possible so as not to think about anything anymore