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SHAKURR remained silent as he rode in the car with August. What could he possibly say? It was a lot to take in. It was a lot to understand, with little to no information to go on. Shakurr looked over at August. His expression remained the same, even with mom crying, even with Tommy losing his temper, he remained unphased. It seemed as if he really didn't care but how couldn't he? Despite what he had done that was his father, their father. Shakurr knew that Tommy could be irrational at times and quick to be irritated over the slightest things but Shakurr actually resonated with Tommy.
How could August do something like this? And feel no remorse? No guilt? He almost felt entitled.
"You hungry? Before we stop at the tow you tryna get some to eat?" August asked passing by a couple of fast food spots.
"Nah, I can't eat right now." Shakurr said honestly, August nodded as he continued on the road to the tow trucking company.
"You don't have nothing to say, August?" August shrugged.
"Did you have some to say when I picked you up from jail?" Shakurr dropped his head down as he chewed on his bottom lip.
"August that's different, this is our father."
"Was our father." Shakurr frowned.
"You didn't even tell us when you guys found out, when did he die, where did he die, how? Was it peaceful? Was he murdered? Did you guys see the body? We deserve to know all this."
"I didn't care to know. Mama said he was dead and I didn't ask no further questions. If you really want all that information? I'll find out for you but it won't do you any good."
"It'll bring closure, at least to me and Tommy..Regardless of how you feel about him, we don't share those same feelings as you. He was my dad and no matter what he did, he always will be. I can't just shut my feelings down like that"
"I can understand that Shakurr, I never asked y'all to shut down y'all feelings"
"By the way you just unloaded all that on us, you don't seem to be that considerate of our feelings either."
" You want me to consider y'all feelings? Have yall considered our mom? How she must feel seeing y'all lose yall shit over a man that left her stranded? With three kids? Three boys at that? I can't do that to her. Not after all she went through for us after he decided to leave. Even if I did feel some type of way about his death, I wouldn't show it. Not in front of mom."
A tension filled silence fell over them as Shakurr didn't say anything else the whole ride, what could he say? He didn't understand anything at the moment. He truly believed August was wrong for what he did, but the way he said things, explained things, it all seemed to make sense. Shakurr stared at the window as his mind traveled to his mother, how did she feel? He left without even getting a chance to talk to her, to ask her about any of this, he wanted more clarification, more information, more comfort.
