The Untitled Story

Chapter 13

It was just after sundown when we pulled back into the farm, the dim lights casting shadows over the entryways to the now closed barns, sound of crickets off in the distance, smoke lingered in the air from a recent bomb fire, Ma and Pa sitting on the front porch swing in silence as they did most nights together. One day that will be me, I thought. All was right in my world, nothing out of place. My life was a dream that most would only read about. I didn't realize in that moment that this could possibly be all that I would ever want. That if my entire world would crash around me, as long as I had Tucker I would be fine.

I always thought about my life involving Tucker, in some small way there would never be a moment that he wouldn't be with me in some capacity. I could envision our lives living out similarly to my parents, the farm, the swing, the morning coffee and fresh baked good at the table. Our wedding, honeymoon, and maybe even a kid and a dog somewhere in the mix of life. The feels swept through my brain like a wave. I believe now more than ever that you never love as hard as you do your first love. Maybe it is the passion you feel, the newness of the experience that leaves almost every other lover you have below that of the first. Maybe, just maybe it's the false sense of security you give yourself that they'll always be there, that is the ticket. Then again, maybe not everyone has such a pure and romanticized first love. One that you know will be there in the best and worst of situations. Whatever the case I knew that I had loved him in that moment. I didn't want think about there ever being another, nothing could or would replace Tucker. I wanted it to be us, then, now and forever. No matter the price I would have to pay.

***********************************

After my graduation that spring, I was finally free! I had nothing holding me back from the life I wanted. I had been accepted to several collages but declined them all opting for the local community college for simple classes and a quick degree. Even though I didn't plan to ever use it. Business Management seemed simple enough, mostly math and while I favored English, I was good at it. I took the summer off to spend time around the farm helping Pa and spending it with Tucker all before starting classes that fall.

The romance and spark between us seemed in my mind to only grow with the times we had spent together. The barn had been our go too place, we knew during lunch we could escape the ever-watching eyes of the farm hands. Our alone time was that most treasured to me, even when we were all over each other. There was something electrifying about his touch. Time and time again he knew just how to get me. I was always smitten in his arms. Then during one of our many lunch breaks I heard Todd Hinkey talking with Ma and Pa.

"Paul, do you know why I am here?" I could hear Pa stifle back a small response that was seemingly inaudible. "Now, now Milly, there is no reason to get upset. I am sure this is just a simple misunderstanding. It will all be sorted out soon."

My heart sank, I was rushed with nervous energy trying to figure out who and honestly what the fuck they were talking about. I looked at Tucker who was just if not more worried than I was. His blue eyes where changed, more wide, his face drained of all color. I could see him trying to talk but unable too. "What is going on?" I whispered to him urgently. While I feel he knew, he said he didn't. I climbed down from the loft and was trying to listen deeper to the conversation between the three of them. Seemed so secretive. This was as close to them as I cloud be without them seeing me.

"He is wanted Paul. Now I could go into further details after I take him into custody." Todd continued to explain to my parents. "He's 19 now ya know." My pa sounded defeated and deflated at the same time. Like someone just killed his dog. "Oh, what will we tell Aimee Paul? She is going to be devastated." Milly tried to sound understanding but her shaky voice trailed off, "Do you want to do it?"

Pa looked towards the Barn knowing we were in there. No denying he knew. He stopped, told Hinkey to wait and headed there.

"Tucker?" my Pa's voice sternly questioned. "Tucker the sheriffs here to talk to you." I could hear the barn door close behind him, the hinge grinding and the wood bang against the frame. My stomach turned and heaved into my chest. There was so much confusion. I nudged Tucker and told him to just go. Tucker held his head down and walked out of the stall. "Yes sir."

Pa and Tucker spoke in a quiet conversation. Tucker looking between Pa and his boots. Pa was stifled, not angry, but almost too calm. He gave Tucker a hug, and waved him on to follow him out the door. As he was walking out the door he turned around, met my gaze and red tear filled eyes as he mouthed the words I love you.

I hit the ground. I had a unfamiliar rush of emotions, tears burning my cheeks, borderline hyperventilating, I couldn't feel my body, yet was numb to all of it. "Aimee, are you in here?" I head Ma call through the door. I could not even facilitate a response to her, but a wail of a cry. Ma rushed over to me and I buried my head in her chest and sobbed. She held me closer than ever before. She placed her hands over my head and spoke gently to me. "It'll be okay baby girl. Just stay strong. We will know more later on tonight."

Ma helped me to my feet and we walked back out the door. I watched as they cuffed tucker, read him his rights and placed him in the back on Hinkeys car. The lights sweeping over my body. I can see Tucker from the distance with his head down. Seeing him like this breaks my heart even more. Hinkey came over and spoke to my dad, even though I could hear it, I wasn't listening to any of it. Then, they drove off.