Do you believe in being Lucky?
Seonghwa was the type of person who considered himself to be cursed with bad luck. From losing both of his parents at the age of 5, his life had been nothing but a series of unfortunate and tragic events. Always being...
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
"Sometimes life is a gamble with terrible odds—if it was a bet, you wouldn't take it...."
••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
Seonghwa POV:
My eyes fluttered open to nothing but mostly darkness, with only my bedside table clock being the only source of light. With a simple glance, I noticed the time was nearing 4 in the morning, signaling that I would have to be up and ready in a hour to make it to my morning shift. The shift didn't start until 7, but with the long travel ahead of me and desperate need to hold the job for as long as possible by being punctual, I never want to jeopardize the chance at something stable.
Groaning to myself, I sat up and stretched my arms, ignoring the loud creaking of the bed frame beneath me. It was to be expected from staying in an old and somewhat moldy apartment, but it was the only space available to purchase with what little money I had that could manage in regards of rent. The choice was either this or sleeping on a nearby park bench, so I decided that I could stand the stench of dampness every now and then. As long as I had a roof over my head, even if it wasn't the best, it was better than nothing.
Ever since I was five years old and my parents had died in a car accident in the middle of the night, I've grown accustomed to living on temporary and fleeting comfort. None of my living family members wanted to take me in as one of their own and I refused to stay in a shelter until I was 18, so I chose to rough it out until something better came along.
The accident was something I didn't know how to process at first, the thought of never having anymore kisses from my mother or head pats from my father struck a chord deep within me. It felt as though they abandoned me, despite truly knowing better. It was a lie if I said I didn't have some sort of resentment toward the whole situation. My childhood was stripped away from me without warning, forcing me to adjust to a new life as an orphan without any source of family left to call my own. Although, over the years of growth, resentment turned into longing and understanding.
It wasn't until my best friend San took notice of my physical state that he convinced his parents to let me move in with him. Whether he truly cared or just felt pity for me was unclear, but I was grateful nonetheless for the genuine support. However, the feeling of being a burden on another person's family became too much to bear, so with some well fabricated lie, I left and chose to live on my own at the age of 18 after graduating high-school. Now at 25 and a recent college graduate, I've managed well enough to hold my own. I had a place to call my own, food that could keep me fed long enough until the next paycheck, and semi-decent clothing.
After making my bed, I quickly hopped into the shower to get ready for the day, my mind reeling with ways to earn more tips. Working as a waiter in a coffee shop wasn't as luxurious as other jobs, especially in comparison to my three friends: San, Yunho and Yeosang. San was the Vice President of one of the largest car manufacturers in Seoul, Yunho own three of his personal dance studios, and Yeosang was the top Neurosurgeon in one of the major local hospitals. None of them judged me for my career path, and I always supported theirs. Out of the three, only San knew about my childhood and deeper struggles, but he respected my privacy on the matter. My job was one I truly enjoyed, with the peace of mind I got from just bringing smiles on people's faces combated the inner turmoil of my everyday life. There was one constant in my life I was sure of:
I was cursed with never-ending bad luck...
My life was nothing but darkness, pain, and disappointment. Majority of my years was trying to be as invisible as possible, staying away from anyone who could potentially take advantage of me. There were numerous times where I'd be robbed of my belongings, beaten just for fun, and kicked out of places just because there was a better offer of payment on the line. Either way, I've taken each instance with a bittersweet feeling, learning how to protect myself and adjust to the ever-changing tides.
There were times where I was so desperate for food that I'd succumb to the advances of older men just to earn some spare change for a meal...But that's a different story to tell...
All I knew was that nothing good ever happened to me, and I've accepted that harsh reality to be concrete.
Stepping out of the shower, I wiped the fogged mirror and took a glance at myself, faced with the reflection of someone who resembled a malnourished raccoon. My black hair was long overdue for a trim, my eyes had dark circles the size of craters, and my overall body frame was as thin as a toothpick. I scoffed, turning away from the mirror and bit my lip. "Stop looking at yourself...you're fucking disgusting and you know that..."
You're worthless...
Who could love you...
Look at your face...you're nothing...
Quickly dressing myself in my work uniform without haste, I stepped out of the bathroom and grabbed my belongings: my backpack, phone, keys, headphones and my family heirloom necklace, the one thing I've kept since childhood. After grabbing just an apple for my breakfast as my stomach could only manage consuming something small, I made my way out of the apartment and headed toward the train station in the darkness of the night.
The sun was yet to rise as it still had yet to reach 6, but the weather was warm with a gentle breeze that blew by occasionally and the sky was still adorned with stars that reflected its subtle light all over. I found solace in them, taking them in any chance I could get. While ignoring the true meaning behind my name, the stars were one sight I loved to take in and witness every night. It reminded me of my parents, a way I could find myself wishing them a good night's rest before allowing myself to sleep. Since it was fall season, they would be more apparent in the sky compared to other seasons.
The walk to the station wasn't long as I reached in record time, but the actual ride itself was a different story. Each and every ride would allow me only ten minutes of a walk to get to the shop on time, but the only benefit was that the shop was directly across the street from the station. Therefore, the journey was worth it, despite the numerous stops of picking up passengers in between.
Standing against one of the poles near the stop, I plugged in my headphones and began playing my favorite playlist of music to pass the time. With only a few other patrons waiting along with me, my mind only wandered into the depths of the sound playing through my ears. Music was my favorite source of energy, listening to the different instruments that worked together in perfect harmonies to make such beautiful sounds always uplifted my spirits. That and the warmth energy of my boss at work, an elderly woman who always made sure I ate on time and enough to carry me over until the next day. Even against my wishes, I knew I would be leaving with a box of leftovers at the end of each and every shift.
She was the grandmother I never really had...
The train was approaching in the distance, so I held my belongings tight against my chest as I waited for it to stop. Once it arrived, I casually made my way over to one of the empty seats away from others. A small smile graced my lips as a message appeared on my phone.
"Fighting, hyung! Today's a new day!"-Sannie
He was right. Today was a new day, a day where I'll focus on surviving rather than living...
