Last Hope

Chapter 16

Maybe it's too selfish of me to hope and even think that Vic would once again go back and come knocking on my door, asking for forgiveness. But that's exactly what I was dreaming of- for him to go back and make things better; for him to just hold me and tell me that everything'll be okay because really, if it's coming from Vic, even though I still have a small ounce of doubt inside of me, I'd believe it.

Four days had gone by and I still haven't heard even a whisper from Vic. Just with a slam of a stupid door, he's once again out of the picture.

After he left me in Brendon's office, I stayed there, the anger fleeting off from my mind and was slowly replaced by agony. I should be mad at him for running away from me but if you were to look and analyze the entire scenario, it was entirely my fault. I started it- I was the one who was, once again, going to walk out on him. Honestly, though, I was planning on following Frank and Brendon and maybe beg Frank to tell no one about what he saw. But I guess it was a pretty dick move for me to lash out on Vic like that. I mean, he already told me that although he's capable of trying to put everything behind us, there are just those times when he can't strain out his words and pull off the things that happened in the past. And I can't blame him on that.

Brendon told me that he talked to Frank and told him that what he saw was just some weird friendship thing between Vic and me. Let's be honest, though. Even a kid wouldn't believe that lie. The position and body language that we had back there was an easy clue and I saw it in Frank's face that he already knew what was going on. It doesn't take a genius to figure out that something was going on between us.

"Kellin, you're going to be late for your service." My mom called out for the third time. I wasn't budging, though. It was hard enough for me to mask the extreme pull of emotions that I've been feeling the past four days and I couldn't stand bearing another day of forcing myself to go out there and do stuff that I'm not willing to do. "Dear? Your dad and I would leave in a few." My mom's small voice echoed throughout my messy room as she peered through the slightly ajar door.

"Your dad's getting angry down there." She said and sat down on my lousy excuse of a bed.

"Can I skip today's service?" I asked as I stared straight to the ceiling, my mind empty and bland. Since I've had a fair amount of time thinking about Vic, my mind finally reached that point where it's just blank- dull and blank. I am trying to figure out as to what I am feeling but I just couldn't find the right word that would fit this gaping feeling. I've never felt so.. neutral before. It feels like my emotions are in a chaotic daze and I just couldn't pin point which one I should be focusing on.

"What's the matter? Are you sick?" She sounded so worried as her palm found its way to my forehead, trying to feel my temperature through her smooth skin.

I shook my head, not bothering to look up to her direction.

"Well, if you want to skip, your father would be looking for a reasonable explanation." She pointed out and it's true. That's just how my father's mind works. He doesn't know- or rather, doesn't care if you're feeling extremely down for as long as you don't have a flu or something extremely contagious, there's no reason for you to skip something.

"Whatever." I muttered, pushing down the layers of blankets that were messily hugging and swallowing my thin frame.

"What's the matter?" My mom asked, still sitting on my bed, looking at me as if I'm this little kid that gets upset over the smallest things in the world. And maybe I was acting childish; moping around as if I've been dumped for the first time when on the other hand, Vic and I wasn't even in a damn relationship in the first place.

"It's nothing. Don't worry." I went for the most common lie any teenager could ever root for.

"Oh, don't give me that excuse. Come on, tell me."