Last Hope

Chapter 18

Maybe it was faith or rather, the perfect timing, knowing that both my parents are at home, doing whatever it is that they do around the house whenever they aren't out and about with their friends around the neighborhood. I texted my sister told her to head over to our house immediately because I knew to myself that there's nothing that could stop me from doing this now.

I stepped on the pedal hard as I parked roughly in front of our house. With no more other thoughts left in my mind, I unbuckled myself and slammed the door shut after me. Luckily, they kept the front door unlocked so I immediately let myself in. My sister wasn't here yet so I took this time to jog up to my room and grab my dusty duffel bag that was carelessly shoved under my lazily made bed.

'I'm doing this. I'm actually doing this.' I whispered repeatedly to myself, as if reassuring my own nerves and silently telling them to calm down and just go with the flow.

With one last glance of my room, I came to the deep realization of how I'm never going to see it again for the rest of whatever. I never even realized how small and cramped the space is- not until now. The framed certificates, the shiny trophies and medals, the numerous books and the countless photographs that had been hanging on the walls and sturdy shelves since the day that my parents taught me that I should always be number one and that I should always do what is best for me and my future.

Well, that's exactly what I'm about to do now.

"Hey, Kells! What are you up to?" My sister called out from half-way down the wooden staircase, grabbing my attention as I closed my bedroom door for the last time. Her face held that look of curiosity as her eyebrows pulled together.

I shrugged and pushed past her, making my way to the living room. "Mom! Dad!" I called out and within mere seconds, my mom walked out from the kitchen, a neat apron wrapped around her tiny waist and a pink rag on her hands.

My mom looked at me for a brief moment, her eyebrows raised until her gaze fell on the bag on my hand. Her lips instantly pulled down and her eyes dulled down as her head shook lightly. "Kellin, dear, what are you doing?"

"Where's dad?" I asked, dismissing her question.

"Kellin, you're just going to make things so much worse for you, honey." Worry was so obvious in my mom's voice and I felt bad for being the cause of it but it's time for me to actually stand up for once. To defend myself and do what I want to do with my life.

"Dad!" I yelled out, still ignoring my mom and her worry-filled glance. I went to walk to the direction of the kitchen but my mom met me half-way, her hands finding their way to my shoulders as she stood shakily in front of me.

"Kellin, I want you to think about this. Think about this for two, three, five, ten more times before you make this move. Dear, this is going to cause you so much more trouble especially from your father and I don't want you to-"

"Mom, it's okay. I'm gonna be okay. I will and I can do this and he's can't stop me. I've been living under his roof for so long and he's going to understand that it's time for him to let me go and do what I think is right for me." I assured her, a small smile etched on my lips as I tried to calm my worried mother down. She didn't look too convinced, though. Tears were threatening to spill from her glossy eyes and it brought those heavy stabs through my guts. Right then and there, I realized that seeing my mother cry wasn't the best sight to witness ever.

"What's going on here?" My father broke down the deafening silence in the living room. He looked at my sister and to me and my mother and as if on instinct, my mom stood in front of me, pushing me behind her as if I was still her little five-year old kid.

"He's old enough, dear." My mom shakily muttered and by her simple words, I held on to her hand tightly. "They are both old enough."

"What are you saying?" He questioned, his thick brows knitting together.

"We shouldn't be holding them off for this long. Our children, the three of them, are very smart individuals and I think it's just right for us to let them be." My mom explained as my sister went beside me. She was shaking and we all know what's bound to happen.

"What, so you're going to allow him to just continue his sinful ways? Is that what you want, Mary?" He asked with a louder tone now that sent horrible chills down my rattling spine.

"What I'm saying is, we should let them decide for themselves now. We already did our part in raising them well and it's just fair for us to let them go and do what they want with their lives." My mom explained as best as she could.

"No! Being gay isn't the right thing to do! We didn't raise you to be gay, we raised you to be as normal as you can be!" He shouted as he went to get a clearer view of me, pointing a finger at my direction. My blood boiled at his words. He was being so insulting and harsh! No one deserves these words. No one.

"I am still the same Kellin that you raised. What the fuck are you saying about not being normal?" I argued back which caused him to look at me with so much disappointment and anger to the point where his gaze almost drilled holes through my thick skull.

"Do you even hear yourself?! We didn't raise you to use such words!" He shouted, pushing my mom away from me and grabbing me by my wrist. "And what's that? You're going to run away now, huh?" He taunted, his eyes momentarily drifting to the bag that rested beside me.

"You didn't raise me to use such fucking words but I learned to use them because of you!" I shouted, shaking my wrist away from his tight grip. "Yes. I am going to get out of this damned place and trust me, you'll never see even the smallest strand of my hair ever again."

"Why can't you be just like your brother and sister? They're normal and they continue to be normal and look at them, they're both successful and happy with their lives!" He went on to shout at me as I grabbed my bag and went to turn to the door, my veins all fired up and ready to just slam the front door shut for the last time. I turned around, ready to counter him but my sister beat me to it.

"Ken rarely even visits this house anymore and me? Happy? Hell, I can't even be open with the person that I love without being judged!" Kailey shouted, her face growing tired and frustrated with the entire situation.

"Then be with the guy that you want, we've got nothing against you having a boyfriend, we already told you that." My mom finally chimed in, her voice small and hopeful.

"Girl. It's a girl." My sister proclaimed and I swear I saw our parents' faces fell on that revelation. "We like someone of the same gender, what's so wrong about that?"

"The entire idea of it is wrong!" My dad shouted but I just shook my head, grabbing my sister's hand and finally opening the door.

"We can't live in a place where we're not accepted by our own parents." I said for the last time and went to drag my sister away from that dilapidated place.

"And where are you two going? You'll run away with your gay lovers? Is that love going to be able to feed you and sustain you with shelter?!" This guy isn't going to stop anytime soon, is he? I opened the car door for my sister and went to the other side, shaking my head but I didn't hop in to the car, not before saying my last words to my sick excuse of a father.

"This love is going to accept that. And that actually matters to us." With those words freely floating through the air of our quiet suburban street, I turned on the engine and drove off without even a single glance back to our so-called home.

GZ