If Only You Could See Me Now

Chapter 3

Tom decides to continue to ignore me for the entire week. I get into school and, surprise, surprise, he’s never there. I finally find him and, surprise, surprise, she’s draped all over him. I try to talk to him but, surprise, surprise, I get cut off by Jennifer. He barely has time to say hi and deposit his bag of snacks with me before going over to Jennifer. I actually haven’t had a proper conversation with him all week. I can’t remember a time where we have been this far apart for so long. I miss him like crazy and it’s only been a week! But I can’t talk to Tom without Jennifer being there and she always manages to drag him away to get her a drink or something. Besides I try to avoid Jennifer at all costs which means I’m now avoiding Tom. Today was the worst he didn’t even bother to say hello at all. He walked straight passed us at break as if we weren’t even there. It was just like I was a ghost of his past... hang on a second... I think I have finally worked out why seeing Tom with Jennifer freaked me out so much the other day…

I guess I haven't told you the full story behind my little feud with Jennifer... see there's a reason why Jennifer hates me so much and it runs all the way back to when we were in year four. That was the year Jennifer joined our school and believe it or not but she was shy, really shy. In fact the reason why she left her previous school was because she was being bullied. Jennifer used to just melt into the walls so nobody took any notice of her, she was pretty lonely. I am honestly not lying that's how she used to be. She would just float from group to group always on the outside as if watching from behind a glass screen. There was always just something missing about her. One day she decided to latch on to Tom and I. To tell you the truth I didn't like her from the beginning I just had this feeling about her... which turned out to be spot on. Anyway Tom being Tom can never see the bad in anyone so welcomed her into our group and bit by bit she came out of her shell around us.

The only reason I have come up with to explain what she did next was that she decided she had stepped onto the social ladder noticed she was now an equal to me and saw an opportunity to get higher. Now don't get me wrong I can't stand the girl but you have to hand it to her she's smart. She waited for the day when I was at my most vulnerable point, the day Tom was off ill and no longer by my side. That ‘butter wouldn't melt’ act wore off pretty quickly and she immediately began to call me names under her breath and kick me under the table for the entire day. I could handle that, she was just being pathetic and immature. But it got worse. At the end of school I went to collect my things from the cloakroom and she was there waiting with a new found group of friends. They cornered me and one by one they tore me to pieces calling me all the names under the sun. Names you wouldn’t expect girls of that age to even know. They were surrounding me, I couldn't move so I just had to stand there and take it all. Jennifer spat in my hair then they left me to cry my heart out all by myself. I have never felt so helpless, so intimidated or so humiliated. I can never forgive her for it. When Tom came back, without going into the details I told him to make a choice kick Jennifer out or lose me. I could never bring myself to tell him exactly what she did. That time he chose me. Well Jennifer continued to clamber her way up that ladder throwing people out of her way until she reached the top leaving her victims behind her. So that's what that feeling is, it's dread that what I did to her she's doing to me. What if she’s cutting me out of Tom’s life? I guess now she's finally getting her revenge because bit by bit I'm losing him... I'm losing my best friend... my Tom... to her.

About two minutes from the end of break he comes over to say hello. “Hey sorry guys Jennie had something important to tell me but I’m here now.” Everyone else smiles and welcomes him back but I am particularly mad at him. He’s acting like he hasn’t even done anything wrong. “What a nail broke or something, no wait maybe a fake eyelash fell out of place,” I mutter scathingly.

“Are you all right?” Tom asks me holding out his bag of gummy bears for me to share.

“Not really, no,” I blurt out before I can stop myself.