Colette Nowa II

Chapter II: The Fall of Wisdom

Chapter II: The Fall of Wisdom
A Monday morning arrived, dilluting yesterday, when Colette was interviewing for a new job - a remote position working with adults as a suicide counselor. Switching career after career, from working with the elderly to working with those with depression, Colette wanted to experience everything that life had to offer. She wanted to be that person in the world that no one had. Nervous, yet frightened, she began trembling occasionally, especially during formalities because she had been once in the shoes of a lost soul.
            "You're a prostitute." She heard a voice. It was not Raphael's voice. Interpreting the voice as a message from God in her mind, she carried a black cloud on her shoulders of suffering. She knew that she had wronged Raphael, but not to the deliverance of lust. She had her own moral compass.
            Why is God angry with me? He probably cheats on me all the time being a spy anyways. He was an angel, but he became human, mortal to all flaws of folly.
The face will show the story of a soul. Yet, every man thought of Colette or any another woman as a prostitute if they could not have her. Taking one step forward, she then took five steps backwards. It made her cry. She was not strong. She was a woman who just wanted love.
Why is engaging in love with Tyler such a crime? Where was the wisdom of this wicked world? Remember Dante's Inferno, God.
"You're a prostitute." She heard those words once more.
Is this what God thinks of me?
She fell into a deeper depression. Colette's abortion from Peter Reed - the monster who once told her that she would have love - captivated her soul into the dark depths of the molten underground, strong yet weakened with lava. 
Raphael entered the room.
"Honey, what happened? You will make me cry. Please do not cry." He noticed her puffy eyes and makeup running from her face to her neck.
Did he really say that or is it only my imagination? When will this misery end? Men were never sympathetic to me. I don't deserve this life.
It was pain that revolved around her, the murder of her own blood, the sexual sinistry of the past, the mistakes that cannot be fixed. Confusion made her indecisive.
I was raped. Yet, I still feel just as similar to those monsters. I am not. I am not a monster.
Abortion was never the fault of the woman for men knew that they were impregnating the woman. A real man always stays.
"I just... I just... can't get over the abortion."
Raphael brushed her hair. "Colette, Colette." He whispered graciously. Water encountered the soul in his eyes. "Do not worry. Do not worry my Colette. Your child is in heaven."
I wish I could be in heaven. Why do people still not believe me? Is Raphael not real? Or, do people just like to make others go mad due to my own appearance? Why do I even exist at this point if I killed my own child?
Colette sobbed, trying to scream but not having the strength to carry her words outward into the open air in the studio.
"I'm hearing voices."
"Darling, no. No, it's the spirits. Demons may exist."
When did I get a demon? It doesn't matter. Thank God that I finally have him. He makes me feel like I could fly.
"Sweetheart," Raphael proceeded "God forgives you. There is no limit to forgiveness for you, me, and everyone else. All of us." He paused. "Now, tell me what's really troubling you?"
Colette sobbed. In panic, she jumped from
one topic to another in conversation. 
"My father."
"What about him?" Raphael became stern
once more.
"My father. Was he a good man or not?"
Colette knew that Raphael was lying about her father to make her feel better, and Raphael knew that this question was to appear again and again. He sighed as if a black cloud was over him. Colette never saw him sigh like this in the past. He was truly in distress.
"Mankind makes mankind evil. That's what he was taught. He did not know any better."
In all the realms of life, Colette stopped crying. Her emotions fluctuated with freedom around Raphael, never calling her crazy for it.
"Why did I have to wait for you? Why didn't you come into my life earlier?"
"Temperance."
There was a moment of silence and reconciliation.
The two then did chores throughout the house, washing dishes, cooking meals, and doing laundry. The silence crept into the room like a soft slumber until all of a sudden Colette stated:
"I need a cigarette. I have too many nerves for this job interview."
She trembled for the pack of cigarettes inside the kitchen drawer. Raphael did not see her trembling. He did not control her smoking habits. 
"You will do amazing. Being a suicide counselor is a worthy job, and you're perfect for the position."
He smiled so green and kissed her.
The procedure of the process led to her answering questions about her personality and leaving an impact in people's lives struggling with the search for peace. 
After the interview, she was hired. With Raphael, she had all the luck she needed. She closed her computer and pecked at him.
"I need to go love. I'll see you later. I have to go to the office." He hugged her. "Congratulations on the new job." Raphael winked.
How did he just forget about everything that I said? I wish I could be like that, unemotional at times when granted.
Suddenly, paranoia struck Colette.
Is Tyler Raphael? No, it cannot be. But, my gut feelings tend to be right. I share the same love for Tyler as for Raphael.
After Raphael left, she called Tyler every hour. The ringing went to voicemail every time. Tyler used Colette for the thrill. He was as handsome as an angel, but behaved like the devil.
                           -
Evening had arrived suddenly.
Colette confessed her sins to Raphael, and he accepted her as she is.
Colette it was me.
"Colette, it was me."
"What?"
"It was always me." He laughed in an
interesting manner.
"I'm Tyler. I was wearing a disguise."
What the...
"I came to you yesterday during my lunch break like I do every lunch break. I just can't resist you, Colette."
She smiled. "Well, don't do it again." Colette slapped his hand lightly.
"I was practicing my disguises on you. I am sorry my dear. I didn't mean to make you scared or confused."
Colette was fearless. Sure, she had her fears of nightmares or horror films. Taking risks required fearlessness, and Colette adored risks.
The sun gleamed through their curtains onto Raphael's nose, highlighting his masculinity, onto his muscles, his tranquil protection towards her.
"But, I must go now, Colette. Save your hugs and kisses for me." He whispered.
"Wait!" She doubted. "Do you hate me because I was with Peter Reed?" She asked sincerely.
"Love, I am always with you. Do you understand the stars in the sky were made for you and me? Do you understand that everything in this world was created for you and me? We are unstoppable, my love."
He grabbed her head, and looked deeply into her eyes, asking to search for her soul to find herself.
"I just hope these voices vanish." She said disappointed. "I think it's my punishment."
Raphael appeared to be serious. "No, Colette. You said it before. Remember? Life keeps going forward despite the difficulties encountered. You can handle anything. God creates tribulations to foster patience." She leaned on Raphael's shoulder, and he gently brushed her hair. However, he got up and left for work.
Money ruled the world, but love ruled the universe, requiring a dependence that was simply known as consideration and care. Colette threw out everything that took her away from him - the books of sin, her playing cards, the fortune-telling cards - she threw them all out because she feared the universe, accepting to ride the wave.
At the end of his shift, they smiled and rejoiced in greeting. They kissed. She stopped burning photographs to change the past. She found her faith again. Thoughts can lead people to destruction, but the sun will always lead to protection.