Too Small To Be Afraid

Chapter 6

I follow Ms. Clemmons through the door and into an enormous room that I can only assume is the perthean co-principal's office. I survey the room from a balcony at least fifty— no, sixty feet off the ground. It's very similar to Ms. Clemmons' office, with the same bookshelves, filing cabinets, and desk. What's different are the files and stacks of paperwork scattered about in a disorganized mess.

As I scan the room in an attempt to familiarize myself with my surroundings, that's when it happens. That's when my eyes meet his. His eyes are a deep blue, and wide with enthusiasm I can only begin to wish I had. His gaze pierces through me like a dagger and leaves me helpless to do anything but stare right back, breathless.

My legs shake. My hands tremble. The blood rushing to my face is so hot, I feel as though I might melt into a puddle. I nearly lose my footing as my vision threatens to fade to black.

"Are you alright?" Ms. Clemmons says, breaking me from my trance.

"Don't worry, everything's fine!" says another voice, clearly in a panic.

Behind the large desk is a perthean woman much younger than Ms. Clemmons. Her black hair just barely reaches her shoulders, and her brown eyes are filled with surprise. She straightens her red blouse and black cardigan in a hurry, and then turns her gaze to me.

"Ms. Kaylin Finch? Your father has told me so much about you," she says.

That's right— the perthean co-principal at this school used to be deskmates with Dad. That must be why she looks so familiar. I know I've seen the two of them video chat before.

"I'm Mrs. Hudson, the perthean co-principal of Pacific. It's nice to finally meet you!" Her right arm crosses her chest, and she leans forward.

"Y-you, too," I say, kicking myself for stuttering as I lay my own right arm over my chest and lean forward. Wait, did I bow far enough? I don't want to look impolite!

"This," Mrs. Hudson says, motioning to the perthean on the other side of the desk, "is Mr. Derrick Drake."

The boy turns to face me with a big smile spread across his face. His gaze pierces right through me once more as he too crosses his right arm over his chest and leans forward. I reciprocate, but this time I worry if I bowed too low.

"Kaylin— I mean, Ms. Finch," Mrs. Hudson says. "Are you familiar with balcony etiquette?"

"Balcony etiquette?" I ask.

"Have you ever been lifted from a balcony before?" Ms. Clemmons clarifies.

Figuring what must be coming next, I want to run away as far as my trembling legs will carry me, but instead I restrain myself and simply shake my head 'no.'

"Mr. Drake," says Mrs. Hudson, turning to face my deskmate. "Do you remember how to perform balcony etiquette?"

"Yes, ma'am," the boy says.

"Why don't you teach your new deskmate how it works?"

The boy laughs nervously, rubbing one arm. Mrs. Hudson continues to look at him expectantly. Then, the boy turns his gaze back to me. He's walking right towards me! What should I do?! My heart races at a thousand beats per minute, and I can't help but stumble backward. The sound of his footsteps pounding the ground rings in my ears and sends shivers down my spine. I have to get out of here! I want to run, but my feet remain stuck to the balcony floor. Why can't I move?!

"Ms. Finch, right?" asks the boy, his voice booming in my ears.

I slowly crane my neck back to look up at him, and try my hardest to keep myself from trembling. No matter what happens, I can't let any of these pertheans find out how terrified I am of them. If they find out, who knows what they'll think of me. Or what they'll do to me...

"Mhm," I squeak out, nodding my head.

"Great," says the boy, smiling. "You can just call me Derrick, by the way."

I stand there helplessly, in utter disbelief of how tall this perthean is. I've never been this close to a perthean in my entire life! If he wanted to, it would be so easy to grab me and squeeze the life out of me!

When I don't respond, the boy lets out another nervous laugh. "Right. So, uh, balcony etiquette."

It takes everything within me to not stumble backwards yet again as he raises one of his enormous hands and settles it right in front of me. It's huge! His fingers are as big as fully grown humans!

"Hold onto my finger," he says, "then I'll lift you and place you in my other hand."

I stare wide-eyed at the massive finger in front of me, and glance at my own hands to compare. I've never given much thought to the littlest of wrinkles or crevices on my own hands, but the ones on his hands are so big! Can he see the details in my hands? Can he even see my hands at his scale?

Not wanting to be any closer to this perthean stranger, I look back at Ms. Clemmons, almost as if to ask if I really have to go through with this. She nods her head and gives an encouraging smile. I guess I'm on my own.

I return my attention to the perthean boy's finger, my heart pounding deep within my chest and my entire being trembling with fear. And somehow, despite everything inside of me screaming at me, telling me not to do it... I reach out and gently place my hand on his finger. I look up to see him smiling.

"That's it," he says. "Now hold on tight!"

Without a moment's hesitation, the boy begins to raise his hand off the balcony. Against my own instincts, I lunge forward and wrap myself tightly around his finger. Before I know it I'm dangling over that sixty foot drop, hearing nothing but the sound of my own heartbeat ringing in my ears.

As soon as I feel a soft, squishy surface below my feet, I become all too eager to let go of the boy's finger. I struggle to balance myself at first, but after a moment or two of flailing my arms, I feel comfortable standing. I just wish I were standing anywhere else but a perthean's palm.

"There you go," the boy says, moving the hand he placed me on closer to his chest.

The movement, being quick and unexpected, causes me to lose my balance. I fall flat on my bottom, and blood quickly rushes to my face as I scramble to recover.

"Oh! Sorry," the boy apologizes. "Are you okay?"

I nod my head yes, yet I feel everything except okay. I can't stand it here, I want to go home!

My trembling reaches an all time high as I sit helplessly in the palm of this perthean's hand. I try to keep it under control, to do all I can to stop it, but it continues. If my deskmate notices, what will he think of me then?

"Well? Are you all set?" Mrs. Hudson asks.

"I think so!" my deskmate says.

I look up as everyone's eyes turn to me. The room begins to spin, and my insides churn. Unable to speak, I give a quick nod.

"Great!" Mrs. Hudson says. "Go back to the auditorium and wait there. Orientation will begin shortly!"

With that, my deskmate nods his head and turns around. I sway in motion with his movement, and every step he takes shakes my entire body. I think I'm going to be sick.

I fold my shaking hands in my lap and stare down at them as my deskmate continues to the auditorium. I take in a deep breath and hold it for as long as I'm able. Hot tears wet my eyes and stream down my cheeks. It's at this moment I realize there's no turning back. I'm completely under this perthean's control.