Too Small To Be Afraid

Chapter 7

The rhythmic swaying of my deskmate's walking does anything but put me at ease. My heart thumps faster with every step he takes away from the perthean co-principal's office, my last link to the safety of the human undercity. I wipe the tears from my eyes in a hurry, lest the boy see me cry and start to worry. Fear or no fear, I just can't put that pressure on someone.

I hesitate to look up at the boy, fearing he might be looking at me himself. Luckily, he's not focusing on me... until he is. We lock eyes, and the world starts to spin again. My vision begins to blur with tears, and I rush to blink them away before they fall. The boy smiles at me and lets out a little laugh, completely oblivious to how hard this is for me. Well, at least I hope he's oblivious.

"So," the boy says, "are you nervous?"

"N-no!" I exclaim defensively. Can he feel my trembling? Can he see my tears? How did he figure out I'm afraid?!

"No?" The boy asks, cocking his head. "Not even a little?"

"No," I reiterate. "I... I'm not nervous."

"Hmm. Well, I'm nervous," the boy says.

I blink. Him? Nervous? What does he have to be nervous about?

"You are?" I ask.

"Yeah," he says, scratching his cheek with his free hand. "After all, having a deskmate is a huge responsibility, so I don't want to mess this up. I thought you'd have it worse, since you're basically entrusting yourself to a stranger."

My cheeks get hotter. How did he know?

"Well, maybe I'm a little nervous," I say, looking away.

"So the truth comes out!" The boy says.

Oh, no! What have I done?! I straight up told him I'm scared! What if he's angry?! What if he wants to hurt me?! My heart skips a beat as I hug my trembling frame and look up at the perthean boy. I expect to see furrowed brows and gnashing teeth, but instead I'm met with soft, smiling eyes and a big grin. Confused, I let my shoulders relax a bit and raise an eyebrow.

The boy lifts me up to his eye level, far too close for my liking. He's so close, I could reach out and touch his face if I wanted to. I scoot back.

"Well, Ms. Finch," the boy says, "you have nothing to worry about as long as you're with me! Okay?"

My heart keeps pounding and pounding! He's still so close! I nod slowly, and he seems to accept that as an answer. He brings me back to chest level and continues to the auditorium.

As we enter the auditorium, I find myself shaking my head in disbelief. I'm not able to fully comprehend what I'm seeing. This room is way, way bigger than Mrs. Hudson's office! It might even be bigger than Maedri's undercity railway station! For a human like me, it must stretch on for miles and miles!

My deskmate comes to a stop right in front of a seating area at the back of the auditorium. There's so many pertheans! My blood runs cold just looking at them all. Some of them are sitting alone while others are talking to the humans they've been paired with. I wish my deskmate would hurry up and find a seat so that I don't have to keep staring at all these people!

After a moment, my deskmate starts up the stairs. He keeps going and going, until finally, after what feels like forever, he reaches the very top of the stairs. He walks all the way to the end of the row by the wall and sits down.

"Now," my deskmate says, "do you want to stay in my hands or should I set you down?"

Finally! I can get out of this perthean's hands! The standalone balcony between the rows of chairs is just within reach!