« 𝐔𝐧𝐚𝐧𝐬𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐐𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 [𝐒𝐀𝐓𝐎𝐒𝐔𝐆𝐔]

+ ℂ𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 1

+ Happiness is a butterfly by Lana del ray ✓

❝Just because something looks alright from the exterior doesn't mean it is doing well on the inside, I am not talking about any thing here. And the vice versa is true too❞

How long has it been since Gojo ventured out for work? It feels like ages, truly, a hazy memory veiled by the depths of his indifference.

His drive to become esteemed, respected amongst his peers has faded away, like whispers fading in the wind. The desire for affection from others no longer dwells within him, unless it's from Geto.

Do the opinions of others weigh upon his mind, concerning his idleness and sorrow-drenched reliance on alcohol? Needless to say, they hold no importance.

Only one being ever truly mattered to him, to be frank. His love for his father remained, but Suguru Geto occupied a special place in his heart, surpassing even his flesh and blood. Every thought consumed by Suguru, his actions influenced by Geto. As the days pass, Gojo yearns for validation from his cherished one, the remembrance of Suguru's absence causing heartache beyond measure.

Satoru's downfall started when he found the letter left by Suguru, he couldn't cry that day cause it was his dad's birthday, they were supposed to celebrate it together and reveal their relationship to his dad and that both of them are going to marry each other and they have been engaged for a while. 

He remembered his dad asking where Geto was, in his words, "Where is your best friend Geto? I thought he was going to join us like usual and maybe he would give me a present or something," with a heartfelt laugh, he was like Satoru in a lot of ways, too carefree. He treated Suguru like he treated Satoru, if not with even more love.

But... Suguru left. Why? The question always lingers in his mind, whether he is under the influence of alcohol or if he's conscious, he couldn't find the answer to it, and it frustrated him to no limits, in the end he just came to the conclusion that maybe he wasn't good enough for Geto. Or maybe he was too clingy?

Gojo walked and arrived in front of a park, seeing it filled with people he contemplated whether he should go or not but he chose to go nonetheless.

He approached a swing, its rusty chains creaking in melancholic harmony. He looked beside him, where an empty swing swayed gently in the breeze, a haunting symbol of the absence that had consumed his soul. Memories flooded his mind, and he allowed himself to drift into the past, the bittersweet waves crashing against his wounded heart.

He mustered a fragile smile as he reminisced about the days they had spent together, two souls entwined in an innocent dance of affection. Gojo's heart ached as he recalled Satoru's desperate attempts to bridge the gap between them, yearning to grow closer to Suguru, while they both remained seated on those swings.

Tears welled in his eyes, both for the sweetness of those moments and the pain of their subsequent loss. Suguru had always been reserved, uncomfortable with physical touch, yet in rare moments, Gojo could taste the tenderness of their connection with stolen kisses upon their lips. It was a privilege he cherished, for in those stolen moments, he felt desired, even if only briefly.

"Maybe I wasn't his type? I was too clingy. Only if I could time travel in the past would I try... No, I would surely become mature and cool if that's what Suguru wants, he could've asked me to change myself, for him I could do anything. Suguru, where are you? Please I said I can't live without you but I am still breathing clinging to the very small possibility that we will meet again and you will give me a second chance." He muttered all to himself, his voice quivering.

"God if you really exist, if you're the almighty then please let me meet Suguru, he's my everything, I seem to be alive but I am dead inside. Please... I want to see Suguru, my Suguru." 

Tears fell down but he didn't care because it was for his beloved he was crying for.

'You're a grown up man, don't cry!' He would think but the tears won't stop, not when the matter included Suguru, his Suguru.

The only weakness Gojo had was Suguru and it proved to be the deadliest which ultimately destroyed him.

He hiccuped while crying like a five year old would. Suddenly he felt a tap on his shoulder, he quickly wiped his tears and turned around. He saw two teenage boys, he guessed their age to be around 16 years.

"Hey, we were wondering if you're not gonna swing, why don't you sit on a bench mister? I want to sit here with my bestfriend and there's only one swing left here, can you please give us your swing? I want to spend some time with my best friend, he is my one and only." One of them said pleading with his eyes while the other one clung to his shirt clearly embarrassed to be a part of his pleading.

Gojo smiled through the pain, it was painful for him to watch them, not because he was jealous of their friendship. On the contrary this felt too familiar, he remembered calling Suguru his one and only a lot of times even before they started dating. He just showed a thumbs up and went away from the spot, he couldn't keep looking at them when the boy pleading to him just a minute ago hugged the other boy tightly while the other boy tried to push him away with a slight blush. Again, too familiar...

He couldn't control it anymore, he was thinking about Geto too much, heck everything he does reminds him of Geto, if he doesn't do something about it he might start to blame himself even more for the departure of Geto.

So he did the only thing he could to help himself. He started to make his way towards a bar he knew too well, alcohol always seemed to help him, he had low alcohol tolerance so whenever he was intoxicated he would lose his mind but at least there he was together with his Geto, living happily with adopted children, the life he always wanted with Geto. He finally reached his destination.

He squinted his eyes shut at the bright lights the bar was shining with in the exterior, he looked the other way and was astonished to find another bar at a distance.

He never knew there was another bar here? He chose to go there instead, at least this one didn't have neon lights surrounding its exterior, that's so gay he thought and chuckled once he realised that he himself was- gay.

He made his way inside and instantly regretted it as he saw all the neon lights shining too brightly for his liking, maybe the owner wasted all his money to put the neon lights inside hence didn't have any for the exterior.

Gojo made a note to himself: Just because something looks alright from the exterior doesn't mean it is doing well on the inside.

"This bar is even brighter than the one I used to visit," With a roll of his eyes he ordered a bottle of whiskey, no need to back off now.

Once the drink arrived, he drank it like he never had anything to drink before, he asked for two more bottles.

He drank like a pro, the bartender clearly surprised by his tolerance, only if he knew.

Gojo slumped his head down on the table once he had finished his third bottle of whiskey.

He heard someone chuckle beside him, he blinked a few times trying to get back his senses.

"Woah even that chuckle was familiar, everything seems familiar to me today huh," 

Gojo sat up straight and looked sideways only to see the side profile of a man with black hair tied in half bun and half left down to his shoulders, he sipped the content of his glass with a grace undeniably like... Suguru?

Suddenly Gojo was wide awake like he didn't just gobbled up three bottles of whiskey down his throat.

He knows, he just knows the fact that this man right here is Suguru, his one and only.

----

(A/N)

I thought the first chapter I published a while ago was too abrupt, like the very sentence was "Hey, Suguru is that you?" I feel so dumb now that I think about that, I thought it would seem cool, how wrong I was, anyways I write this, tell me if it is more appropriate for being the first chapter of not, until then, sayonara<3