Freeing My Alpha: Book 2 of My Shy Alpha

Chapter 48

Amy pulls me to the back of the store, stirring my frozen legs into action.

Plopping us down on a tufted bench, Amy grabs my hand. "Talk to me. What are you thinking?"

"I'm not a goddess, let alone royalty. Everyone's acting like it, but I'm really not special. I just want to buy a dress. What if I'm in over my head?"

"With Noah?" Amy's eyes widen.

My wolf growls through me. "No! I'd never say that!"

Amy sputters out a laugh. "Damn, okay! Just checking!"

I grasp my temples. "God, sorry, I'm so weird today. But I love Noah with my whole soul, Amy. This is so important to me."

"Aww, babe. Then what's wrong? I mean, maybe I'm overstepping here, but are you having trouble letting yourself be taken care of again?"

I swallow hard, looking down to my feet. "Not like I used to. I want to mate Noah in front of everyone... And I do want to wear something like this while we mate."

"That's incredible in itself! You were nowhere near a place to do this before. Just your interest amazes me." Amy squeezes my arm. "But if you're trying to force yourself into it, that's not okay. I don't care what anyone might think - not even Alpha Noah. If you're not into any of this, we can call it off. I'll have your back, all the way."

My head snaps up, staring directly at Amy. "I love you, Amy. But please, don't worry. I'm not forcing myself. I want this."

We're both stunned at the conviction in my tone. But then my cheeks flare with embarrassment.

Amy slumps. "Oh, babe... Seriously, what's wrong?"

I shudder back tears, trying not to hiccup as they come pouring out of me. "I want to be the pack's sex symbol, so badly. But I don't know if I'm ever going to feel okay enough to do what I want. What if we go through the whole ceremony, and after all this special treatment, I panic in front of everyone?"

I hold my rocky stomach, hoping it doesn't overturn.

But Amy squeezes my shoulders, sincerity wiping out her worry from moments before. "You know what? That's possible."

My heart throbs, worsening my tears.

"But everyone will have to accept whatever happens. Whether you do it or not, you're their Luna, and you deserve respect."

"But why does that mean I deserve respect? Just because I love Noah?" I groan. "Everyone's acting like I'm supposed to be some spoiled princess. If I'm only important because they see me as his pet, it's demeaning."

"This isn't about Noah, but I hear you. I think you need to talk to him about his opinion on Lunas to clear that up. And I also don't think you know how much you've already helped this community, even though you just got here. You weren't born into being their Luna, and you were given a choice. You chose to carry this weight for the pack. That means something huge to these wolves. More than you'll probably ever know."

My heart throbs into my ears. "I have an idea of what it means to them, at least. That's why I care so much about being good enough for them."

"But that's the thing. You'd still deserve their respect, even if you don't do a goddamn thing. And I think you should own it. I can see you want to."

I grasp Amy's hands, pulling her in closer. "A., I do want to be looked at with respect— and maybe even admiration. Even if it's selfish to want and that selfishness makes me a bad person."

A grin erupts across Amy's face, and I'm stunned. She looks inspired.

I've never thought it could help others to be selfish, yet it's real, and it's happening. Maybe I can be a symbol of hope for our pack by taking up space. Maybe I can nurture them even better this way.