Your Eternal Promise

44

Gerald stared closely and scanned the square eagerly over and over again, but still couldn't see the clues he needed. In the end, he could only lower his head reluctantly, barely restraining his overly eager expression.

To outsiders, his eyes were dark and dull, burning with the evil fire of concentration. Whoever he looked at would tremble with fear and be unable to express a complete sentence. In the Portuguese court, more and more people began to whisper behind their backs. They said that the black crow could set a living body on fire with just the sight of it.

In this respect, superstitious dignitaries are no different from superstitious sailors. Mortals are deeply shocked by death and things that resemble death.

However, Gerald was not happy.

Despite this, even though he gained the king's trust and respect, even though he was promoted to a high-ranking official and well-paid, and gradually approached his former status in the secular world, even though he regained power and wealth, and gained the loyalty and loyalty of a group of people, Respect, the hatred and fear of the other group of people... Even though he had completed half of the revenge and had taken back so many things, his mood did not fluctuate. It could be said that he had long forgotten the taste of happiness.

His mind has been alienated by hatred, his limbs have been twisted by pain, and his shape has been reshaped by the experience of "Black Crow". After arriving in Portugal, glory, title, king's promise, luxurious and magnificent mansion... all rushed towards him. Gerald faced them with familiarity and numbness. In the vigorous and colorful scenery, he only felt the confusion and fatigue everywhere.

Isn't this strange? He accomplished a phased goal, the Moluccas were seriously injured, Jane Scott was unable to do anything else, and part of his property was recovered, which allowed him to enjoy the hot guest treatment in Portugal. Logically speaking, he did everything he could, fought for everything he could, and his results were so brilliant, but why - why couldn't he feel anything?

It was as if a piece of solid ice had wrapped around his brain. The stimulation from the outside world, the material enjoyment... everything was gone. Only the physical fatigue was so clear that Gerald felt speechless and confused.

Then what?

he asked himself.

What should I do then?

Reason told Gerald: In this case, you should wait for the opportunity and hibernate quietly. However, the actual situation told him: No, it's too late. You are already at the end of your strength and you are going to collapse.

For a long time, he had to plan a general goal for himself so that he could mobilize his superhuman stubborn will and forcefully drag his broken body forward. This is like an hourglass hanging on his life. Once the sand leaks out, what will he do?

Gerald didn't want to think about this problem. He tried to focus his attention on the act of revenge. But in the dead of night, he fell on the bed and suddenly found that there seemed to be an irreparable hole in his chest. The ever-expanding void. The pleasure of revenge is temporary, and the pleasure of grabbing power and money is also temporary. He jumps into the whirlpool of desire and fights with others, and the interest in fighting is even more temporary. His hunger and thirst knew no bounds, but no matter how much wine he drank and how many delicacies he devoured, they eventually leaked out of this huge hole.

He felt uncomfortable everywhere, and it felt like fire was burning everywhere. In front of outsiders, Gerald could still maintain some appearances, but when he was alone, the pain would come back from the end of his mind, making it difficult for him to breathe and make him feel weak.