Compelled (a Hat Films Fanfic)

Fight

I crept through the dorm room hallway, trying not to get caught by the RA who may or may not be here right now. Amanda had given me her spare key a while ago in the event that she needed me to grab something or I wanted to come over while she was working on her channel or some homework she had to finish and couldn't let me in downstairs. Sure it was a bit illegal, but so far neither of us have been caught. 

This time wasn't to come visit her though; I knew she had class right now and wouldn't be back for another two hours. Under my arm was a red book with a black spine, the edges of the paper rough from being hand cut. It had taken me three months to figure out her birthday gift for April, but I thought a limited addition collection of H.P Lovecraft's more obscure and macabre writing would make her happy. I hoped she hadn't read all of them already (Though I couldn't be sure with that Cthulhu tattoo on her ribs), but a search through her personal library told me she at least didn't have them in book form.

The last few months had been happy ones, but uneventful. Amanda was now busy working on her own channel that was steadily growing in popularity, having done multiple Minecraft collabs with people around the office and even being a guest one week on Cornerstone in which she plotted a coup against the mayor and let the hand take the blame. Now that she had the extra revenue coming in she had finally agreed to my proposal of living together, something she still felt wary of because of how young our relationship still was. Trott and Smith were in full support, having grown even closer to my girlfriend through work, and with how positive they were about it she seemed to be growing more comfortable with the idea. 

There wasn't anyone in the lounge or hallway, but I could hear a few teles and the running water of a shower around me so I was still quiet about unlocking her door and slowly pulling it closed behind me. Her room still looked as immaculate and untouched as ever, though her desk now harbored a new computer and two monitors, along with a mountain of school papers and newsprint sketches. A few new paintings hung up, but by now most of her time was spent working in digital programs and she had less time for her drawing and painting hobby.

I looked around the room, searching for a place that she might not look at until two days from now on her actual birthday. I wanted it to be the first part of her surprise, the other half coming later in the day when I set up a romantic dinner at home for the two of us. Opening he closet, I looked to see if there was any kind of shelf as a wave of her scent wafted off her clothes and made me smile as memories flooded into my head.

I checked the desk next, wondering if she would even see it until June if I hid it under these papers. I decided that a drawer might be my best bet, and pulled out the slightly crumples note that I would put with the book. It talked about how happy she made me, and about our past and future together; it was a bit cheesy, but it was genuine and I hoped she found it at least endearing.

I went to open the bottom drawer, since it probably got the least use, but I stopped when I saw what was inside. It was a small canvas book, and I wouldn't have thought it anything different than the various sketchbooks that also occupied the drawer hadn't I seen the bottle of 'Natural Meal Replacement Supplements' next to it. Looking back at the door as if I expected Amanda to walk in any second, I gingerly picked up the book Nick had warned me about without disturbing anything else.

Even before I opened it I could see the various print outs and magazine clippings that stuck out of the pages, so much that the top cover didn't lie flat but jutted upwards at an angle. The front page just had a few words and numbers. The first line held SW: 136. The second saying CW: with a large chart that showed fluctuating but decreasing numbers. Then finally, near the bottom of the page was GW, the original number crossed out and lowered three more times before stopping 99 at the bottom. It didn't take a genius to figure out this was weight and she was close to reaching 99 pounds, but I still remained in denial until I started flipping thorough the pages and finding daily calorie intakes, insane and dangerous diets along with low calorie recipes, lists of different workouts, and countless pages of inspiration pictures. They were all girls, thin and in some cases sickly looking, with written encouragements by Amanda.