Here we go again

Day 5 cont.

quick instruction:

bold= sirius

normal = remus

time when they're not replying (didn't have energy to write every minute sorry):

. = about 15 minutes

.

. = about an hour (1,5hr)

.

.

.= few hours

It's already the evening and this guy has not replied yet. Jesus, Remus needs to call him something different than 'this guy'. But honestly there's not a lot that he knows about this guy.

Remus sat in his armchair planning tomorrow's lessons. Maybe he should call him 'hot stuff'. But he doesn't know what the guy looks like. And... he used to say that to Siris... a lot.

"Fucking Sirius" Remus cursed. "People from the past should stay in the past..." And yet he couldn't think about anything else. He wanted to see Sirius again. Apologise for... raping him? He wanted it but he was drunk so it wasn't really consensual... And after apologising he would punch him. Hard. Break his nose or something. And then he would shout at him for leaving without any trace. And he would punch him again. And then he would cry. And kiss Sirius' bruised face. And apologise again. And hug him and never let him go again.

But there was this guy.

And yet no one mattered if Sirius was here. In the same city. Fuck it, no one else mattered if Sirius lived on the same planet, although Remus wasn't sure if anything would change even if Sirius stopped existing.

Remus shouldn't still love him so much. He shouldn't love him at all. He should hate him for breaking his heart and running away. He does hate him... but- But...

Remus sighted heavily. He will never stop loving Sirius Black. It's like a curse. Remus will fall in love again. Fuck, maybe even he will marry this guy. And have a family. And he will never admit that his heart still belongs to someone else. How is a man supposed to live with something like that?

"I should find him" Remus whispered looking throught a window. It was raining. Sirius hates when it rains.

"I can't sleep on the pavement when it rains, Moony!"

"And why WOULD you sleep on the pavement?"

"Because I'm drunk!"

"So sleep at mine."

"We live together, idiot" Sirius laughed.

"His stupid laughter" Remus rubbed his face.

Remus promised himself, after he finished high school, that he will not think about Sirius ever again. And if he sees him he will spit at his face. That he will hate him for all those lies, for abandoning him. For being such a dick.

But even if he hates him with passion, he still fucked his face. And Sirius wasn't even aware that his ex is using him like that. Remus HAS to apologise.

Remus took his phone and re-installed his instagram. He uninstalled every social media after he got his job so he would be able to concentrate more. Now it was the stalking time, tho. He opened his insta and searched for 'Sirius Black'. Nothing. 'Padfoot'. Nothing. 'Sirius'. Lot of accounts but nothing certain.

"Fuck" Remus huffed and checked on other sites.

After two hours of unsuccessful searching he wanted to throw his phone onto the wall. How is it possible for Sirius to have no account anywhere?!