Uzi Needs a Time Out

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"Hey! Put that conventionally attractive male down!"

We were all three standing in the doorway to the Worker Drones evacuation spot. J and V got there first, of course.

Uzi saw N waving happily, then nudged him in the side.

"O-oh. J- You're sometimes kinda mean to me, and I wish you weren't. Just some constructive criticism!"

"Nice." Uzi said, then her and N fist bumped.

"Noted, traitor. We'll circle back after I right-size your existence!"


I made this for y'all lol https://youtube.com/shorts/xLIvErcHCOM?si=6Cn_GbpxZ3TEjdhj

"Alright which one do you want?" Uzi asked us.

"J please." N answered.

"Too bad. Good luck~!"

She pulled out a JCJenson branded pen, then threw it. It hit J and broke one of her nanite acid bulbs.

Me and N looked at each other nervously.

"I'll help you."

We smiled at each other, then quickly regained our focus as we heard V's chaotic laughter.

She started running towards us.

"Curse the well quality assured durability of JCJenson products! Huh??"

I turned my head and saw Uzi kick another one of J's bulbs, smashing it to bits while sending acid flying everywhere.

"Y/N watch out!"

I snapped back as N tackled me to the floor. We slid a little ways and hit a pillar. A yellow beam flashed where our heads would have been, cutting a box in half and placing a deep mark on the structure.

"Thanks." I breathed.

"No problem!"

N pulled out a gun and aimed it towards V. The trigger pulled.

Instead of firing a laser, out came hot pink hearts.

"AAA! My mind's in a weird place! Don't read into this!"

Just then, a bomb stuck into the ground beside us. We quickly looked at each other, panicked.

The bomb exploded, sending us across the room, screaming.

J pulled out some sort of blue glowing gun, which sent shock waves throughout the room. They hit Uzi and she started sputtering.

Up in the air, me and N were battling with V using our long blades.

N looked down and saw what J had done.

"Uzi!! I'm so, so sorry." He chuckled awkwardly. "Have fun repressing this." Then he proceeded to lick V's blade.

"Ew! What in the world?" She exclaimed, backing up.

"Go get her! I'll be fine." I told N as I got in front of V, blocking her hits with ease.

He nodded then swooped down.

I flew up above V then kicked her, which sent her crashing into the ground.

"Someone's angry~" I jeered. V growled and pounced. As she was leaping, I grabbed onto her nanite acid tail and wrapped it around her, tying it securely so she couldn't escape.

A little ways away, J started walking towards Uzi, who was laying down on the ground. "You've got a lot of guts for a barely sentient toaster. I've had prey fight back before, but your edgy spirit is just so... painful?"

She looked down and saw that Uzi had stabbed J's foot with her own acid tail.

"Fourth quarter profits! Mother of company leadership retreat!" She tripped and fell on her back.

Uzi got back on her feet and grabbed her magnetically amplified photon converter railgun.

"One more buzz word and I'll do it." She warned with an evil smile.

"Equity partnersh-"

Green light filled the building with a loud bang.

When it all cleared up, J's bottom half was on the ground with scorch marks all over it.

Uzi then stumbled and started falling backwards. N quickly caught her, then hoisted her up on his shoulders.

I hummed to myself in slight amusement.

"Holy crap, Uzi! That was insane!" Thad exclaimed. "And you too... uh..."

"Huh? Oh! N! I'm an angsty, rebellious disassembly drone now." Yellow pixelated sunglasses replaced his eyes on his visor. "And this is Y/N! She was already a little angsty and rebellious, though."

I kindly waved from the background.

"Ahem.."

Everyone cleared the path to let someone through.

It was Uzi's dad.

She immediately threw a wrench down on the ground in front of him.

"I brought the Murder Drones here accidentally. You chose to leave me for dead instead of just frickin' believing in me!" She exclaimed gravely. "And that's not even an edgy teen hyperbole like when I said it last week!"

Her dad started fiddling with his hands.

Uzi sniffled, then smacked her face to snap out of it. She sighed. "I'll save you the trouble dad. I banish myself!"

Her dad opened his mouth and raised his hand to say something, then closed it and put his hand back down.

"Let's go guys. Everyone here can bite me." She said, her voice slightly shaking.

I spread my wings and grabbed onto the tied up V while N put Uzi in his arms so he could have a better hold of her.

"Nice to meet you Mister Uzi!" N piped up as we were stepping away.

"Shut it!" Uzi slapped his head.

We both then flew up into the air, crashing through the ceiling.

***

"We would join you if the sun didn't kill us. Hope you're having important character growth or something, though!" N called from inside a random building.

Uzi was outside, sitting on top of a car.

"Juuust can't wait to murder all humans. Classic robot stuff. I hope they're sitting pretty there on earth, 'cause we're coming for them."

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